


Lost and Found

by somebodywakeuphicks



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Benny is still alive, Canon Divergence, F/M, More story than sex but it's there, POV Original Character, Romance, Some from Hopper's POV, Wilderness Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-04-28 02:25:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14439483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somebodywakeuphicks/pseuds/somebodywakeuphicks
Summary: Emilia is a teacher from Chicago, returning from a hiking trip in California. Her train has a major accident, and she and Hopper are the only two survivors. They find themselves stranded in the Utah wilderness, having to hike their way out. Along the way, they find friendship and maybe more, but will that all change if and when they return back to their old lives?





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but original characters with Hopper is a guilty pleasure of mine, especially the longer stories that are more romance than smut, so if you like to read them, too, here you go.
> 
> I tried very hard not to make my character a Mary Sue, which is somewhat impossible with this type of writing. But. I tried. 
> 
> I've already got most of this typed out. I just have to finish the last part and go back and edit a lot of it, but it should be a pretty fast turnaround. Then I'll get back to the other two things I'm working on. ;)

****Emilia didn’t notice the man sitting across and down two seats from her on the train. If she’d known that he’d end up saving her life a mere ten minutes later, maybe she’d have at least taken a look. As it was, she sat, devouring _It_ as she traveled cross country from California back to Chicago.

She’d wanted to fly, but the train cost less, and she knew it would give her some good thinking time. Particularly, time to reflect on the continual loop in her brain lately: _Am I happy with how my life has panned out?_ At that moment, however, she’d had enough, and a horror novel stood as a good distraction.

Just as Pennywise the Clown showed up to torture Eddie Kaspbrak, the train lurched with the whine of metal grinding on metal, throwing Emilia forward. She must’ve blacked out, because when she came to, she lay on the floor, forehead throbbing, billows of smoke filling the cabin. She fumbled near her seat for her hiking backpack, locating it and throwing it over her shoulders. Dragging herself up by the seat, she stumbled into the walkway. A few people screamed. _A few_ , she reflected. There had to have been forty people in their car alone. She grew lightheaded as she groped her way around, kicking something soft. When she knelt down, her fingers pressed into the flesh of a lifeless body, and she shrieked in surprise.

A hand gripped her arm, pulling her up. She cried out, her eyes burning as tears streamed down her cheeks, trying to fight the hand off with eyes closed and blows that had little effect. But the hand let her go, and suddenly, she could see again as a man, probably early forties, pried the train doors open. He grabbed her arm once more, pulling her toward the doors.

“What are you doing?” she yelled. 

“Saving your life. If we don’t get outta here now, we’re gonna die.”

Emilia let that fact sink in. She stood at the edge of the train, looking down, off the train trestle, and into the still water of a small lake.

“Jump.”

“Are you crazy?” Emilia asked.

“You are if you stay on this train.”

“What about everyone else?”

“No time. Most are probably dead.”

“We should—” But before Emilia could get the rest out, the man shoved her out the train doors and leapt after her. She had enough foresight to hold her breath, but that didn’t keep the water from stinging the insides of her nostrils as she plunged through the surface, descending deeper until the water’s force stopped her. She opened her eyes. Bubbles danced around her head and her brunette hair floated around her face like seaweed. Moving her arms and legs, she made her way up to the surface, gasping for air and whirling around in a circle. Where did that man go? Was he okay? She swam to shore and spotted him not far behind. _Good_ , she thought. She didn’t want to have to attempt CPR.

He stumbled onto the bank after her, a torrent of water rushing from his camping pack. “We need to get away from the shore.”

“Why?” Emilia asked.

“The train’s about to fall.”

Sure enough, when she looked up, the whole thing teetered on the edge of the tracks, engulfed in flames and thick, black smoke.

“Oh, god.”

“Yeah. Let’s go.” He pulled her arm once more as she turned and followed after him into the brush.

“Shouldn’t we stay and help?” she asked after a few seconds of silence.

He stopped, turning back toward her. “Are you serious? There’s no way anyone is surviving that.”

“Well, I just thought—”

“Let me do the thinking.”

Emilia’s mouth snapped shut, jaw set in a firm line as she glared daggers at the back of his head and flipped him off.

Once they’d reached what he concluded was a safe enough distance, he turned again to look at her. “You didn’t…know anyone on the train, did you? I mean, you were traveling alone?”

She didn’t look directly at him, folding her arms. “No, I didn’t know anyone.”

“Good.”

“As if that makes it better?”

“Easier,” the man said. 

“There were kids on that train.”

His blue eyes darkened, shaded by his heavy brow for the briefest of seconds before he shook his head, continuing to walk. “Doesn’t matter.”

“And who the fuck are you?” Emilia asked, balling her fists. “You think your life matters more?”

“I didn’t say that. Believe me, it doesn’t.” He stopped once more, eyes meeting hers. “You wanna know why I’m trying not to let it bother me? Because I seem to attract bad luck wherever I go. I don’t know you. You could be Mother Theresa, and it still wouldn’t matter. Life has a way of fucking with those around me. I’ve just come to expect it.”

Her brown eyes softened a bit. “Actually, my name’s Emilia.”

The man paused, almost surprised. “Jim. Most people call me Hopper.” He held out his hand and shook hers roughly before turning around and continuing through the woods.

Only then did Emilia take in her surroundings. Trees enveloped them on all sides, thick with a canopy of aspen and evergreen, smaller vegetation covering the forest floor. Flecks of sunlight reached them only when the trees shifted with the wind, seeming to groan at their disturbance. 

“Where are we going?” Emilia called out after him. “Shouldn’t we stay close by the crash in case help shows up?”

“They may not find the train for a few days. I think I can get us out of here. Find a road and we can hitch to the nearest town.”

Emilia peered at him. “How confident are you?”

“Confident. Our last stop was Salt Lake City. We’re still in Utah. There’s roads, small ones, throughout these parts, and I have a compass with me.” Hopper looked at her and her pack. “Looks like you’re familiar with hiking, as well.”

“Yeah, I—” But before she could finish, the sound of an explosion rang through the air followed by something akin to a hundred car collision.

“Guess the train finally blew.”

Emilia pursed her lips at Hopper’s nonchalance, but she wasn’t sure he was the kind of man she should push it with. She continued to follow him in silence for thirty minutes as they trekked through firs, over brush, roots, and rocky terrain. She looked at her watch. Three-eleven.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to chafe in these wet clothes,” Hopper said, finally breaking the silence. “And it looks like you need to clean yourself up.” Emilia reached her hand up to her forehead, pulling it away to reveal dried blood. “I see a clearing up ahead,” Hopper said. “That would be a good place to rest and dry out some of our stuff. Would hate to spend the night in a wet sleeping bag, especially since it can get a little chilly out here.”

Emilia nodded. “Okay.”

The pair made camp next to a small river, laying their sleeping bags and extra sets of clothes out to dry. Hopper got to work gathering sticks and kindling for a fire. Rifling through his bag, he pulled out wet cigarettes, tossing them to the ground. Then he pulled out a zippo, attempting to light it. “Ha!” he said after a few tries, a steady flame burning. “Still works.”

Once they had a fire going, Hopper lied down on the ground, closing his eyes.

“Shouldn’t we figure out what we’re going to do for food?” Emilia asked.

Hopper peeked one eye open, frowning. “I’m trying to rest.”

“Yeah, but before we know it, it’ll be dark.”

“Okay? I’ve got some granola bars in my bag. Should keep us from starving. Happy?”

“Sure. I’m going to pee.” Emilia got up, wandering away from camp and back into the woods. Hopper couldn’t seem to care less. _What did I do to get stuck with such an ass?_ Emilia wondered. _At least he’s not a murderer? I think?_ She did her business, but stayed for a few minutes longer, letting the day’s events sink in. What was she doing trusting this man she’d just met? She should have stayed by the wreckage. At least someone would find it eventually. No one had any fucking clue she was out wandering the wilderness of Utah. Then again, she didn’t want to be alone, either. She felt fairly confident in her abilities. She’d just completed a weeklong backpacking trip with her brother, after all. Still, she knew there were wild animals in the area. And when she was out with her brother, she carried a map. And had a plan. Without warning, her eyes began to well up, and she couldn’t control the tears that spilled down her cheeks. _Damn it._ She needed to get herself together. She definitely couldn’t let Hopper see her like this.

Once she felt it wasn’t obvious she’d been crying, she headed back to camp. “You were gone awhile,” Hopper said, propped up toward the fire.

“As if you care.” Emilia didn’t plan for it to come out so biting, but it happened, nonetheless.

Hopper’s eyes shot toward her, then back to the fire again. “It’d be inconvenient to have to go searching for you.”

Without answering, Emilia grabbed her pack, digging around until she found her Walkman. She threw her headphones on and pressed play only to find that it didn’t work. She tried a few times, even taking the cassette out and examining it before putting it back in and trying again. “Damn it!” She tossed her headphones off, chucking the device across the ground.

“Maybe it’ll work after drying out. Try again tomorrow,” Hopper said without inflection, still staring at the fire.

Emilia ignored him, bunching her still-damp clothes into a pillow, lying down in the opposite direction. She didn’t even mean to fall asleep, but when she woke, the moon shown high in the star-filled sky. Turning over, she saw Hopper stoking the fire, still staring. “Sleeping bags are mostly dry,” he said. She grabbed hers, pulling herself inside, trying to go back to sleep, but her growling stomach kept her from doing so. She wished she had something to eat in her bag, and her pride kept her from asking Hopper. Eventually, she managed to fall back into a fitful sleep.


	2. Day 2

When Emilia woke around six the next morning, Hopper laid on his side, snoring. Embers smoked in the fire pit, fire long gone. She got up, walking to the river and splashing water on her face. Inside, she noticed several crayfish and had an idea.

An hour later, Hopper woke, grunting and rubbing his face. When he sat up, the fire roared and Emilia steamed crayfish over the fire. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“Found some crayfish in the river. Thought I’d cook them for breakfast.”

“Didn’t know you knew how to do that.”

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

The beginnings of a smile appeared on Hopper’s face, the first she’d seen since meeting him. 

After breakfast, the pair filled their water bottles and packed their bags, heading east in the direction they’d been traveling. 

“How long do you suppose before we come to a road?” Emilia asked.

“Couple days, probably. If we come across another lake or river and avoid bad weather, we should be fine. So you like to hike?”

“Yep.”

“Me, too. Well, camping more than hiking. When I get the chance. Gets me away from people.”

“How unfortunate for you that I’m here, then.”

“I guess.”

Emilia looked at him, wrinkling her eyebrows. 

“So where are you from? What do you do?” he asked.

“I’m from Chicago, and I’m a teacher.”

“What do you teach?”

“Third grade.”

“I could never do that,” Hopper said.

“I guess it’s good you don’t, then.”

Hopper paused, likely contemplating if he should continue talking or just shut up. Emilia wished for the latter.

Unfortunately, he chose the former. “I’m a cop. Chief, actually.” This surprised Emilia. She couldn’t imagine him being in charge of anyone. “So what brought you out to—California, I assume?” he asked.

“Yeah. My brother lives there.”

“You did some hiking while you were there?” He gestured at her backpack.

“Yes.”

“Listen, I know you’re probably pissed at me. We didn’t get off to the greatest start yesterday.”

Emilia rolled her eyes. “You don’t say.”

“I—uh—I appreciate the meal this morning. I mean, I could’ve just had my granola bars, but it was a nice gesture.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m sorry. For being a dick.”

Emilia looked up to see Hopper’s pleading eyes and softening brow. “Thanks,” she said. “For the apology.” It wouldn’t fix everything, but it was a start.

They continued to walk for about ten miles before having a couple of Hopper’s granola bars for lunch. The fatigue from not eating enough in relation to the walking crept up on Emilia, but she knew she had to tough it out until camp and hope they could find something to eat.

“How long have you been a cop?” she asked as they continued on into the afternoon.

“Three years in Indiana, but twelve years before that. New York City.”

“Why’d you move? You in Indianapolis now?”

“No, a small town called Hawkins. I just, you know, needed a change, I guess. I grew up in Hawkins. How long have you been teaching?”

“Nine years.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah. It’s tiring, but the reward is worth it. What about you? Like being a cop?”

“It’s a job. Hawkins is a lot easier than New York.”

“I’d expect so.”

They came to a steep decline. “I’ll go first. I’ll test out the footing, and if you fall, well…hopefully I’ll break your fall, since I’m bigger than you,” Hopper said. He gradually eased himself down the slope, pausing every so often to make sure Emilia stayed close behind him. Once they got to flatter ground, Emilia started to tell Hopper thanks, but that she was also a fairly experienced hiker when he held out his arm, stopping her in her tracks. “Don’t move.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Look. See that pile of leaves?”

Sure enough, when she followed Hopper’s finger, she saw a rattlesnake, curled up and blended in perfectly with its surroundings. She’d been about to walk right into it.

“I’m starting to see why you’re a cop now. Wasn’t exactly sure before.”

He offered up a small smile. “Gotta serve and protect.”

They gave the snake a wide berth as they kept walking. 

“So, what’s life like in Hawkins? You married?” Emilia asked.

Hopper stiffened. “No. Marriage is kind of a stupid institution.” He looked at her. “Wait, you’re not married, are you?”

“No.”

“Huh, that’s a little surprising.”

“Oh? Why?”

Hopper fidgeted with the straps of his pack. “Most women want to get married by your age, I guess.”

“And how old do you think I am?” Emilia asked, folding her arms.

“Shit, really?”

“You started it.”

“No, you did by asking if I was married,” Hopper said.

“Normal question. I didn’t ask for your philosophy of marriage or your opinion on my love life. Besides, if you’re criticizing my age, you should take a look in the mirror.”

“Ha, well—” He didn’t have a retort for that. “I wasn’t criticizing your age, by the way.”

“Sure sounded like it.”

“You’re awfully defensive, aren’t you?”

“So are you.” Emilia paused, looking up at him. “I’m thirty-one.”

“Forty.”

“‘Bout what I expected.”

“Don’t know if that’s good or bad.”

“Good,” Emilia said. “Or neutral, or whatever.”

“Most guys probably find you pretty cute, so maybe it’s your prickly bitch persona that scares them away.” Hopper cracked a smile.

Emilia’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, don’t even—You’re sure one to talk!”

“Right, and I’m not with anyone, either.” He winked.

“In any case, I didn’t say I wasn’t with anyone. Just that I wasn’t married.”

“Oh. Are you with someone?”

“Not…at this exact moment.”

“Well that sounds like a loaded answer.”

“One I’d rather not elaborate on with someone I just met yesterday.”

“Fair enough.”

Emilia side-eyed Hopper. “So you think I’m cute, huh?”

“No—just I know what men are like, and most aren’t too picky if the woman’s decent enough looking and—” He dragged his hands down over his face. “That came out wrong.”

Emilia’s mouth downturned. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

Ten miles after their stop for lunch, they came to another clearing, descending over rocky terrain and into a valley. The red and brown stripes of the distant rock canyon stood in contrast to the green, grasses and coniferous trees. A lake about a fifty yards across reflected the cumulus clouds. “You mind if we stop here for the night? I’m getting pretty worn out, and I’m hungry,” Emilia said.

“What time is it?”

“Five.”

“Sounds good to me. Think you can catch some crawdads again?” Hopper asked.

“I think I can manage something better.”

Hopper set to work building a fire, and Emilia used her pocketknife to cut a branch off of a tree and split the end into into sharpened spikes.

“You going hunting with that?” Hopper joked.

“Something like that.” She finished carving, then stood up. “I feel pretty gross. Think I’m gonna wash up in the lake, maybe wash my clothes while I’m at it.”

“Do whatever you need to,” Hopper said, still focused on his teepee of sticks and kindling.

“Don’t look, okay? Not until I’m completely in the water.”

“Okay,” he said.

Emilia walked toward the lake, glancing behind her a couple times. She removed her socks and shoes, grimacing at the condition of her feet, then pulled her shirt off and shimmied out of her shorts. She waded into the water carrying her clothing and a travel bottle of shampoo. Still in her bra and underwear, she scrubbed her clothes with the shampoo before tossing them to shore. She removed her undergarments, then dunked herself completely into the water, popping back up with a yell.

Hopper turned toward the sound, immediately looking away.

“It’s cold!” Emilia shouted.

“Uh-huh,” Hopper said, eyes fixed steadily on the fire blooming in front of him. She dunked herself back under the water, slipping her just-washed underwear and bra back on before rising back to the surface to lather her hair. Hopper cleared his throat. “You gonna get us some dinner at any point there?”

“Yep.” She made her way back out of the water as Hopper raked his eyes over her body at lightning speed before averting his gaze once more. She grabbed her spear, moving back into the water.

This must’ve intrigued Hopper, because he turned to watch, brow furrowed in bemusement. Emilia climbed on top of a rock several feet from shore and waited. Five minutes passed, but she said nothing, and neither did Hopper. Finally, she spotted a target, and twisting her arm back, she aimed and hurled the spear through the water.

Nothing.

Hopper chuckled, and Emilia shrugged. “Rusty.” She got into position once more, aimed, and—direct hit! She pulled the stick back from the water, a wriggling fish attached to the end. Turning and grinning at Hopper, she yelled in triumph as he stared at her, mouth ajar.

Once she waded to shore, she slid the the fish off the weapon toward Hopper. “Go ahead. Cook it. I’ll go see if I can get another one.”

“How the hell did you do that?” he asked.

“I grew up with three older brothers. We went on long camping trips every summer growing up, and I learned how to do a lot of things.”

Hopper shook his head. “I’ll say. I bet I could do it, though.”

“I bet you couldn’t.”

He rubbed his bearded chin. “Okay. What’re we betting?”

“Umm, whoever loses has to do the dishes for a week.”

Hopper let out a laugh Emilia hadn’t heard before, deep and hearty, and it comforted her.

“It wasn’t even that funny,” she said.

“Well, I enjoyed it. But really. What’re we betting on?”

“Okay, I got it. When we get outta here, the loser has to buy the winner pizza. And beer.”

“Deal.” Hopper held out his hand to shake on it, and when Emilia looked down, she realized she’d been standing there in her underwear the whole time. She threw her arms over her chest and stomach, flailing a bit, before running off and trying, with difficulty, to get her wet clothes back on.

When Hopper joined her by the lake, he avoided eye contact, looking at the ground. “Sorry. When you came running over, I just assumed you didn’t care.”

“Oh, it’s not your fault,” Emilia said. “I got too wrapped up in fishing and forgot. Um, at least they’re black and not see-through?” She could’ve kicked herself for adding that last bit, because obviously, she’d made him uncomfortable, as he cleared his throat before changing the subject.

“So what do I gotta do with this thing?” He examined her spear.

“Nope. That wasn’t part of the agreement. You need to see if you can figure it out yourself.”

“Okay, fine.” Hopper tossed the stick toward the rock in the lake, then dove under the water ungracefully, swimming toward it.

“You’re gonna scare all the fish away, you goon!”

“Who you calling a goon?” He climbed up onto the rock and peered into the water. “Aha, I see one!” He aimed and threw.

Emilia smirked, bringing her hand up to her mouth and shaking her head.

“You didn’t get it first try, either.” He aimed for the target again and missed. By the time he’d reached his tenth throw, the whole spectacle had Emilia cry-laughing to the point she had to sit down. Hopper pouted. “You gonna show me now?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” Emilia waded out to the rock and got on top with just barely enough room for the two of them, something they both appeared keenly aware of. But instead of getting down, Emilia grabbed the spear and showed Hopper how to aim it, teaching him about light refraction and fish movement. She handed him the stick and pulled his arm back as she led him through the motions, then had him try for himself. He got closer, but still missed the next several tries.

“I think I’m officially the loser,” he said, laughing and turning around, causing Emilia to lose her balance and tip backward. Hopper grabbed her arm, then hooked the other around her waist as they paused for a few seconds without moving. He let her go, running his hand through his hair.

“Thanks. Quick reflexes.” She found herself, for once, at a loss for words.

“I better get back to that fish,” he said.

“I’ll see if I can catch another. Maybe two if I’m lucky.”

After Emilia caught two more fish, her spear broke, so she called it a day. Once they’d eaten, they sprawled out next to each other on their sleeping bags, watching as the shadows grew long and the sky changed from light blue to teals, pinks, and purples. Emilia propped herself up on her elbows. “It’s so beautiful.”

“Huh?”

“This. Everything. I’ve never gotten to spend time out here, really. Mostly the midwest, and some in the northeast and California. But not here. You?”

“Mostly midwest. Some in New York, though not as much when I lived in the city. This was my first time in California.”

“Really?” Emilia asked. “What made you decide to go?”

Hopper sighed, then chuckled. “Oh, my receptionist, Flo. You wouldn’t think she holds the power over the station, but she does. She’s the one who makes sure shit gets done. Told me I was getting too grumpy, even for me. Pretty much bought me the ticket and forced me on the train. It’d been awhile since I’d camped by myself. Went to Yosemite.”

“That’s awesome. My brother and I did some of the Pacific Crest Trail.”

“Oh, yeah? Did you enjoy it?”

“It was definitely the toughest hike I’ve ever done, but pretty awesome. I only did a week, so I can’t imagine doing the whole thing like some people. My brother Alex, the one I did the hike with, he’s the real hiker in our family. Planning to do the whole thing at some point. I told him he’s gonna have to take some of his other hiking buddies, because that’s too much for me.”

“Yeah, I don’t hike that much. More the hike so I can find someplace to camp kinda guy. And even that…not so much, lately.”

“I can see that. And your job probably keeps you pretty busy.”

“How funny is it that, of all the people on the train, we ended up being the ones to make it out with our hiking packs?” Hopper frowned. “Not funny. That came out wrong.”

“No, I know what you mean. But I did see other people with hiking backpacks on the train. The station picked up near a popular trailhead, so it makes sense that people would take the train to get there and back. It’s what I did.” She was about to add something, but Hopper sat halfway up, holding his hand out to shush her.

“Look. In the water.”

Emilia followed his gaze and spotted a large, female moose dining on water vegetation. “Wow. That’s incredible.” Up until then, they’d come across several smaller animals and had even seen evidence of a black bear, but nothing like this. They watched for a long time in silence, until the dusk gave way to night sky and the moose moved on. “I love how wild it is out here,” Emilia said, then paused, worrying her lip. “But I’m afraid—If we’re way out here, are we actually going to get back? Because we act like we’re just on a hiking trip, but this could be…well, you know.”

“Hey, I think we’re gonna be okay,” Hopper said. “I was checking out the maps on the train, and I know I saw roads in the area. I’m sure we’ll be fine. It’s gotta be like, two more days, tops.”

Emilia sighed. “I hope you’re right.”


	3. Day 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious bonus points if you can figure out why I chose Hemingway for Hopper. I'll reveal at the end of the chapter.

Emilia woke the next day in pain. She pulled her feet out of her sleeping bag, noticing a blister on her right foot had popped and looked red, possibly infected. “Shit,” she said aloud, causing Hopper to stir.

“Mornin’.”

“Morning.”

He noticed her wide eyes and tense shoulders. “You okay?”

“Hopefully? I think my foot might be infected.”

“You want me to take a look?” he asked.

“I don’t know. My feet look pretty gnarly right now.”

“I don’t care. Let me see.” Sure enough, Hopper cringed when he saw the state of her feet. "Jesus, Emilia! Why didn’t you say something? How have you even been able to walk?” Several large blisters had formed where her shoes rubbed her feet.

“I don’t know. I just—knew we had to keep walking. My real hiking shoes were in my suitcase.”

“Well, we’ve gotta do something about that before we can leave.”

“I don’t have the right supplies. You have any bandages, or a needle? Antibacterial anything?”

“No.”

“Okay, well I’m gonna have to sterilize my pocket knife with the fire somehow. While I’m working on that, see what you can scrounge up for food?”

Emilia started the fire back up and did the best she could holding the blade of her pocket knife to the flame. Using her shampoo, she washed her feet, drained the blisters with her knife, and propped her feet to dry in the sun. Hopper returned with an assortment of plants. “These are the ones I know are edible,” he said, tossing a bunch of cattails and dandelions in front of her. “I could go look to see if I can find something else—”

“No. This’ll be fine,” she said. “Have any more granola bars?”

“Nope. We’re out. How’re your feet doing?”

“I’m trying to dry them out. We’re gonna get a late start today.”

“Okay. Probably better to pace ourselves than have you not be able to walk at all.”

The pair choked down the plants, although Emilia had to admit, it wasn’t the worst thing ever. At least they provided nutrients.

“So,” Emilia said as they sat by the lake, watching the time go by. “What do you do for fun? Do you listen to music? What are your friends like?”

“Don’t have many friends. Go out drinking sometimes with my friend, Benny. He owns a restaurant in town. Uh, I like Jim Croce and Johnny Cash. Don’t do much for fun.”

“Aw, come on! Really? I like Croce and Cash, too, though. But you’ve gotta have something you like to do for fun.”

“I like to smoke. Longest time I haven’t smoked since I can remember.”

Emilia giggled. “So your interests are smoking, drinking, Croce and Cash, and sometimes hiking and camping. Seems about right as far as I can tell.”

Hopper smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners. “What about you?”

Emilia picked a blade of grass, tying it in knots as she talked. “I have a handful of friends, but my roommate is my closest. Her name’s Jess. We met at work, so she teaches, too. I like to go out, but I also like to stay in and read. Loving horror at the moment. Like all kinds of music. Cop out answer, I know.”

“You like reading? What’s your favorite book?”

“Well, I was reading _It_ before I lost it on the train. Stephen King?”

“Yeah, I’ve read _Cujo_. You recommend _It_?” Hopper asked.

“I didn’t finish, but yeah, it was good. Really good. I didn’t peg you for a reader. You can add that to your interests!”

“Doesn’t fit my whole vibe,” Hopper said, circling his hand around his head. “But yeah, I like to read. I have a book with my in my bag, actually. One of my favorites.”

“Oh, yeah? What?”

“ _The Old Man and the Sea._ ”

“Hemingway, right? I haven’t read that one.”

“I actually really like the classics,” Hopper said. “A little embarrassing.”

“No way! I think it’s really cool.” Emilia studied Hopper, wondering what else he kept tucked away in the corners, accessible to a trustworthy few.

He stood up, brushing off his pants. “Think you’re ready to start walking again?”

“I can try. You got an extra pair of socks I can use?”

“I should.”

After Emilia doubled her socks and put her shoes back on, the pair packed up and headed out.

“Keep an eye out for anything edible,” Hopper said, and Emilia nodded. She walked as steadily as she could, not wanting to alarm Hopper, but she couldn’t help but limp a little. “How you doing?” he asked.

“Fine,” she said.

After a couple hours of walking at a slower pace than normal, Emilia had to take a break. She peeled her socks and shoes off to air everything out. “I feel like I’ve lost a million pounds.”

“Me too, but I need it.” Hopper chuckled, then glanced at Emilia. “We should give you a nickname.”

“Huh?”

“Aren’t serious hikers supposed to get nicknames? I’ve kinda already got one. We should come up with something for you.”

Emilia smiled. “Okay. You pick.”

“Way to put me on the spot.”

“I’m curious what you’d come up with.”

“Uh, we could call you Blisters…”

Emilia shoved his arm, grinning. “Fuck you.”

“Whoa, you’ve got a mouth on you. Maybe that should be your name. Mouth.”

Emilia laughed. “Okay, I’ve got a secret to tell you.”

Hopper’s brows creased together, a half-smile appearing on his lips. “A secret? Spill.”

“So after we first met, and you were being a complete asshole, I flipped you off to your back.”

Hopper burst into a bark of laughter. “That’s all you got? And here, I thought I was going to get something juicy.”

“I don’t _have_ juicy secrets,” Emilia said, blushing.

“And I don’t believe you.”

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

“W—what?” Hopper choked.

“Secrets. I’ll tell you one if you do.”

“Right. Well, it has to be a good one.”

“How about we can ask each other one question? Anything. That way, it has to be good.”

Hopper considered this for a minute. “Okay. Deal. I’ll go first. What do you mean when you say you’re not with someone at this exact moment?”

Emilia sighed. “It means I’m kinda in an on-again, off-again relationship. Off right now. Very recently off. Like, the day before I left for this trip.”

“How long’s that been going on?”

“Five years.”

“And why don’t you just call it off completely?”

“Hey, I think we said one question. Your question’s up,” Emilia said. “My turn. What was your last relationship like?”

Hopper’s eyes clouded over, becoming distant as his mouth set in a frown. “Veto. Next.”

“Hey, that’s not allowed!”

“I say it is.”

“Come on, Hop!”

“I said—”

“Please?”

“Just _stop_! Okay? Jesus, you don’t know when to quit, do you?” He raked his hands through his hair, huffing, and standing up. “Let’s keep going.”

“O-okay,” Emilia said, a bit quieter then. She put her socks and shoes back on, catching up to Hopper who’d already gotten a few yards ahead of her. “Sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“It just—ended badly, okay? And I’d rather that stays off limits.”

Emilia nodded, but her mind forged on, speculating different scenarios, all of them terrible. _What if he’s one of those people who can’t end relationships without hating the other person, and—wait, what if she cheated on him, and he’s still not over it? No, what if she died? What if he murdered her?_ Her thoughts spiraled way too quickly, and she had to force herself to stop.

The rest of their trek stayed quiet, a bit too quiet. It finally occurred to her why. Sure, Hopper didn’t really talk much, but even the birds, normally chittering throughout the day, didn’t sing. “Hey, Hopper, have you noticed—”

“Oh, that’s not good,” he said.

“What?” She followed his gaze past the scattered trees into the distance where thunderheads mushroomed, turning gray and yellow in the late afternoon sun. They stood on a rock outcrop, looking down toward a valley lined with pines.

“We can’t stay here.”

“What choice do we have?” she asked.

“We’ve gotta get down lower, at least. You’re gonna have to move fast.”

Emilia shuffled along as quickly as her feet could go, wincing with every step. Hopper moved faster, stopping every so often to wait.

Thunder rumbled in the distance.

“Go ahead,” Emilia said. “Don’t wait for me.”

“Are you serious? Of course I’m going to wait for you.”

“Don’t risk your life for me.”

“We’re not strangers, anymore.” Hopper said, grabbing Emilia’s bag as the wind picked up. “Let me carry both.” He slung the bag awkwardly on top of the one he already carried, and just as they got close to the valley, Emilia slipped on the rocks, sliding several feet down the side of the hill, stones kicking up and bouncing down with her. “Emilia! Are you okay?” Hopper threw the bags down and crouched to where she sat, breathing the pain away.

“I’m okay,” she managed. “Got my tailbone. Probably gonna have a nice bruise from that.” Hopper helped her up and grabbed the bags once more as the pair struggled down the rocky terrain.

A lightning bolt struck a mountaintop a half mile away, followed by a loud crack of thunder. “I don’t even know what the fuck we’re supposed to do,” Hopper said. “Where we were seems bad, but these trees seem bad, too.

“Find the shortest trees and squat?” Emilia asked.

“I’ve got nothing better.”

They found a group of young pines in the midst of mature trees just as it started to hail. Pea-sized ice pelted their skin as Hopper grabbed their sleeping bags, unraveling them to use for protection. Lighting flickered and thunder crashed louder as the rain began. “I’m scared,” Emilia said. Hopper said nothing, grabbing her hand and squeezing. Emilia threw herself into his side and wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his shoulder. He pulled back a little at first, then draped an arm over her, pulling her in close. “I’m afraid we’re going to die,” Emilia whispered through the howling wind and rain as their sleeping bags threatened to blow away.

“We’re not going to die, Mia,” he said, and she started crying. Not because of the storm, although she was okay with Hopper thinking so. More because he’d chosen a nickname, and all of a sudden, Emilia thought of her boyfriend, Jake, and how this man she’d met a mere two days before showed kindness in ways Jake hadn’t in the last five years. Hopper kissed the top of her head, a gesture of comfort more than anything else.

After what seemed an eternity, but only really thirty minutes, the storm passed as if it’d never been there. The sun began shining again, hanging low against the mountainous horizon as evening fell. Hopper and Emilia removed the mud-splattered sleeping bags from their heads, glancing around. “I guess we’re staying here for the night,” Hopper said. I don’t know what we’re going to sleep on, though. I’m a bit concerned about hypothermia. We’ve gotta get a fire going, and before dark.”

The two set to work, examining dead tree branches for moisture, cutting the ones that appeared dry. They used their pocket knives to shave lint and string off their mostly-dry clothes from their packs. Hopper created a raised platform before propping the sticks into a teepee. After a good thirty minutes of trying to get something, anything, to light, and just as the last rays of sun dipped behind the mountains, Hopper did it. A fire popped and crackled. Emilia changed out of her soaked clothes and into her damp ones. Hopper did the same, and they made their way back to the fire. Emilia smiled at Hopper, shivering.

“Jesus, Mia, you’re not looking too good. Come here.” He wrapped himself around her, rubbing her arms to produce warmth. “I promise this is one hundred percent innocent,” he told her. “I need you to be well enough to walk come morning. If you need to fall asleep against me, that’s fine.”

And what if she was okay with it not being totally innocent? For all she knew, this could be her last few days, and there were far worse things than snuggling up against Jim Hopper and feeling… _something_ …about it. Something that stirred up tiny grasshoppers in her belly and made her heart swell.

Hopper’s next move didn’t do anything to quell those feelings. He pulled his soggy book from his pack, opening it to the first page.

“He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without taking a fish. In the first forty days a boy had been with him. But after forty days without a fish the boy’s parents had told him that the old man was now definitely and finally salao, which is the worst form of unlucky, and the boy had gone at their orders in another boat which caught three good fish the first week. It made the boy sad to see the old man come in each day with his skiff empty and he always went down to help him carry either the coiled lines or the gaff and harpoon and the sail that was furled around the mast. The sail was patched with flour sacks and, furled, it looked like the flag of permanent defeat.”

The low rumble of his voice and the rise and fall of his chest lulled her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I love how, throughout the two seasons, we get clues that Hopper's a reader, which isn't necessarily something you'd assume from him at first glance. Clues:
> 
> 1\. In S1E1, when the camera pans Hopper's trailer, two books are left out on his table. One is unidentifiable, and the other is The Old Man and the Sea (Hemingway!). 
> 
> 2\. He hooked up with the librarian, so likely, he's been going to the library.
> 
> 3\. The guard at the coroner in S1E4 is reading a book, and Hopper identifies it as Cujo (Stephen King). 
> 
> 4\. The most obvious, Hopper reads Ann of Green Gables to Sara in S1, then El in S2.
> 
> 5\. Even as a small town kinda guy, he comes off as fairly educated. 
> 
> That's all. :)


	4. Day 4

Emilia woke the next morning, still draped over Hopper’s chest as he snored. She watched him with a curious smile, pondering the mysteries that slept behind his closed eyes. He played a loner, gruff and difficult to love, but past all that, Emilia knew he possessed an instinct to protect. Knew that he craved intimacy, as much as he tried to prove otherwise. _That must be how he fell into the police line of work_ , Emilia reflected. _But what happened to him between then and now?_ Something had caused him to build up the walls he hid behind so dearly.

Hopper cracked a blue eye open, wrinkling his brow. “Why’re you staring at me?” he asked, voice gravelly from sleep.

Emilia shook herself from her thoughts. “Uh, you were snoring. Sounded like a wheezing bear. I’ve never heard a wheezing bear before.”

Hopper smirked, sitting up. “How you feeling?”

“You know, even with everything that happened yesterday, that was the best sleep I’ve gotten in the last couple days.”

A grin lit Hopper’s face. “Good, I’m glad. We should probably get up and get moving. We’ve got to find some food.”

Emilia covered her blisters once more, encouraging herself with an inner pep talk to stand up on her feet. Having slept in the valley, they made the trek upward, and Emilia wasn’t prepared for it. Her feet ached, and her legs and arms shook with hunger. She knew that people could survive awhile without food. That still didn’t make it comfortable. At least they carried enough water, filled up from the rain the previous night.

After a couple hours, they made it to a small mountain ledge. Emilia’s heart stopped in her throat. In front of them, forest and rock faces went on for miles. She didn’t see a source of water, let alone a road. She looked at Hopper’s wrinkled brow, knowing he thought the same thing. “Shouldn’t be too long,” he muttered, continuing in the direction they’d been walking.

They trudged through dense pine and aspen, not saying much. Emilia thought more and more about how they should’ve stayed by the train wreck, and how it’d probably been found by then, even on the news. No one would know she and Hopper were alive. Perhaps they burned up in the fire. Maybe her family and her roommate mourned her that very minute. What would Jake do? Would he cry? Would he even care? _Of course he’d care_ , Emilia concluded. But there was a difference between caring and having your whole world shattered. She wanted to believe he loved her that much. Did she even love _him_ that much? It was a question she didn’t want to dwell on, shoving it as far down as it would go.

Hopper looked at her. “You’re quiet today. That’s not like you.” Not like her. Emilia could’ve laughed if she weren’t so beaten up.

“Just in my thoughts.”

Hopper nodded. “I get it.”

“I just—I wanna get back, you know? Make sure Jess is okay. That she knows I’m okay. See how Jake is doing.”

“Jake. Is that his name?”

“Yeah. Maybe this’ll be the thing that makes him realize he shouldn’t take me for granted.”

“Mia—” Hopper spoke so sharply, she startled, and even he seemed a little surprised. “If he hasn’t treated you well in five years, he’s not going to start now.”

“He _has_ treated me well. In the beginning. And now. Just—”

“I know what that kind of guy’s like. You deserve a lot better than someone like that.”

“Oh.”

Hopper fidgeted. “I’m sorry. That was out of bounds. I—”

“No, it’s okay,” Emilia said. “Um, so what kind of guy are you?”

“What?”

“Are you a good guy or someone women should stay away from?” She knew she was taking a risk with this question. It was a roundabout way of asking him what she’d been curious about the whole time.

“Um…honestly? I’m not good for most women. Women who want more than—”

“Yep. Got it.” Emilia suspected as much. “Just curious. Just your standard questions.”

Hopper looked at her funny. “Okay.”

What the hell was she doing? She and Jake weren’t exactly the epitome of a healthy relationship, and yet, here she was, catching feelings for a man who just admitted he didn’t have the healthiest of relationships. But at least he admitted it, which Jake wouldn’t even think of doing, and if he did, he’d blame it on her.

By evening, they’d found a small clearing to build a fire, but no water source and no food. It’d been almost two days since they’d last eaten anything. She wished she knew more about the plant life, which plants were edible and which weren’t. Her backpacking skills seemed amateurish by that point. She and Hopper both worked at building the fire, deciding it would be wise to call it a night and get as much rest as they could. They stayed in their separate sleeping bags a few feet apart, and Emilia wished she could lay on his chest again, to find comfort in another person. She sure needed it. At the same time, they had no reason to be next to each other like that. Not like the night before. She curled up deep in her sleeping bag and closed her eyes to go to sleep. 

A few hours later, Emilia woke to strange noises. At first, she feared a wild animal, tensing at the thought of a cougar or coyote. She quickly realized that the sounds didn’t come from an animal at all, but Hopper. She propped herself up to get a better view of him. He thrashed around, moaning and grimacing. She held her hand out to touch his arm, but it didn’t help, so she called his name once, then again, a little louder. He startled awake and lifted his head toward her, eyes blown. “Em—Mia? What’s going on?”

“You were having a nightmare.”

Hopper scrubbed his hands over his face, moaning. “I can’t do this, anymore. I can’t fucking do this."

“Do what?”

“Keep having these dreams. I’ll think things are getting better, and they crop back up again.”

“You want to talk about it? Of course if you don’t want to—”

“It’s fine. It’s not like talking about it’s going to make it any more painful at this point.”

Emilia sat up, pulling her knees to her chest.

After a long silence, Hopper finally spoke. “Her name’s Sara.”

“Your last girlfriend?”

“My daughter.”

Emilia’s heart stopped. “You have a daughter?”

“Had.”

“What happened?” she asked, barely a whisper.

“She—she’s not—cancer. It was cancer.”

“Hop, I’m so—”

“No,” he said. “I don’t want to be that guy. The guy that everyone feels pity for. The one they whisper about. I want people to treat me like they normally would. But…”

Emilia waited for Hopper to continue.

“I also want people to acknowledge her. Because she existed. It’s fucked up. No matter what, it’s always wrong.” Hopper fumbled around, cursing. “Damn it, I really need a cigarette right now.”

“How long ago?”

“A little over three years. She was five,” he said.

“Before you moved back to Indiana.” She reached out, placing her hand on his arm, and Hopper seemed to welcome it, so she left it there.

“To answer your question earlier, I was married. Seven years. It was never perfect, but it was good. After this, we just…fell apart. Mostly me. I wasn’t there for her. I internalized it all. It made me a bad person. I treated her like shit. I love her. I still do. But I’m no good for her. Not anymore. I’ve accepted that.”

Emilia didn’t know what to say to all of this. She wasn’t uncomfortable, exactly. Some things just couldn’t be conveyed through words. She chose to ask a question instead.

“What was Sara like? If you don’t mind sharing.”

Hopper’s eyes lit up at the suggestion. “She was my little girl. Very much a daddy’s girl. She looked like a good mix of me and Diane. Curly blonde hair and blue eyes. She was so curious. Always. From the moment she learned to scoot until…” His expression drew inward. “Yeah, always asking questions. Teaching me things, even. She loved to run and play at the park. We would go to the zoo and planetarium. That was her favorite. She was fascinated by space. Anything science, really. Also loved being read to. And eventually reading a little herself. Oh, one time, the power went out in the whole city, so Diane and I decided to keep her up past her bedtime, and we went out into the street with our neighbors who had a boombox, and we just danced for over an hour until she fell asleep in my arms. Another time, we went camping, and we tried to name all the constellations we could find. I called one out, and she corrected me.” He laughed. “I can’t even remember which one it was, but she was like, ‘No, Daddy. That’s not it. It’s this other one.’ She was so smart. Could never figure out where she got it from.” He paused, staring at the dying fire.

“She sounds wonderful.”

“She was.”

Emilia stood, grabbing a few dead branches to add to the fire. When she came back, she sat right next to Hopper, threading her arm through his and resting her head on his shoulder. “I promise this is one hundred percent innocent,” she said, and he laughed, a tear finding its way down his cheek.

“Fuck,” he said, wiping it away. “I try not to let that happen too often.”

“Why?”

“I barely cried at the time. I don’t a lot. After, I just kind of broke down in the stairwell. By myself. But that was it. It was one of the things that bothered Diane. Sometimes, like tonight, it’ll catch me off guard.”

“I think it’s okay.”

“I miss her. I miss her so much. And now, you’re here, and for some reason, I’m spilling my guts out to you. Is it because we might die? Because I don’t know where the fuck we’re going. There. I said it. I have no fucking clue if there’s a road or not.”

“I know.”

He turned to look at her. “I promise I thought I could get us out of here. I’m sorry you got sucked into my black hole.”

“Hop, I don’t believe you’re a black hole. Maybe unlucky, although I feel lucky, in a way, to have met you.”

Hopper gave her a shaky smile. “I never did ask about the nickname I gave you. Not super creative. It just sorta came out.”

“I love it.”

“Good.”

They decided to get some sleep, but instead of sleeping apart, Emilia curled in flush against Hopper’s back, snaking her arm through his. It felt a little ridiculous, a 5’5 woman spooning a 6’3 man. But he comforted her at her worst, and she wanted to do the same for him. He didn’t sleep soundly, but every time he woke, she was there.


	5. Day 5

Emilia checked Hopper’s compass, making sure they headed due east as they left camp the next morning. Neither of them talked about what had happened the night before, an unspoken awareness that the connection had grown their friendship and fondness for each other. As Hopper threw his arm over Emilia’s shoulder, he verified the direction, and they began another day’s walk.

“How’re your feet holding up?” he asked.

“Doing better. I’ve got so many scratches on my legs, though.” She pointed to the jagged lines of dried blood. “But I’ll take it over problems with my feet. How’s our water situation?”

“I’m almost out. You?”

“Yeah, me too.”

They walked about five miles, dappled sunlight floating through the aspen trees that surrounded them. Emilia was in the middle of telling a story about the previous years’ third grade class when she stopped mid-sentence.

“What?” Hopper asked.

“Thimbleberries.”

“Thimbleberries?”

“Look!” Emilia pointed to a dense patch of brambles with large, flat leaves and red berries. Lots of red berries. “Oh my god! Come on!” She threw her pack down and grabbed Hopper’s hand, dragging him toward the bush. 

“They look like raspberries.”

“But they’re not. They’re a little different.” She fell to her knees, giggling. “I can’t believe it! Come on! Let’s pick as many as we can.”

The pair set to work collecting the thimbleberries. Several times, one or the other got caught in the thorns, stuck in the finger, or scratched on arms and legs. By the time they finished, dried blood decorated their limbs, but they had a pile that would’ve filled a gallon bucket.

“Oh god, these are the most delicious things ever!” Emilia said, groaning.

“Agreed.” Hopper popped a handful into his mouth.

Before they knew it, they’d taken out the whole pile. Emilia rested her head in Hopper’s lap. “That was so good.”

He leaned back on his arms and closed his eyes. “Now I just want to take a nap.”

They rested in the quiet for a few minutes before getting up and heading out again. “If we ever get out of here, do you think we’ll even be able to catch a ride?” Emilia asked. Because I can’t see myself, but if I look anything like you, we’re in trouble.” She grinned.

“As long as we don’t smell like you, we’re okay.”

“You think my b.o. is worse than your b.o.? Not a chance.”

Hopper put his hand to his chest. “I’m hurt.”

“Oh _god_ , at least I don’t have my period,” Emilia said.

“Yeah, we wouldn't want to attract bears.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’ll see your ‘fuck you’ and raise you fifty ‘fuck yous’.”

Emilia shoved him. “Get your greasy hair and pit-stained shirt away from me.”

“That’s fine. Don’t want to be next to your scratched up, hairy legs, anyway.”

She smiled and bumped him with her hip as he put his arm around her. “Hey, look. A nest.” She pointed up toward a pine. “I wonder if it has eggs.”

“Should we climb it and find out?” Hopper asked.

“I can.” She threw her pack down and gripped a branch above her head, using a lower one to stand on. “Gross, it’s so sappy in here.”

“Like the tree has lots of feelings, or…?”

“Shut up.” 

When Emilia reached the nest, she frowned. “No eggs.”

“Still a good idea, though. We should check out nests along the way.”

Before reaching a stopping point for the evening, Hopper and Emilia gathered six small eggs and a few handfuls of dandelions. Just as Emilia thought she couldn’t walk another step, she heard the sound of rushing water. “Do you hear that?” she asked Hopper.

“Yeah. Sounds like a river.”

They came to a part of the forest where the trees thinned out and the land grew rocky. A sharp drop-off revealed a small waterfall cascading into a swimming hole.

“Oh! It’s so beautiful!” Emilia said.

Hopper glanced at Emilia, then back out to the water. “Camp?”

“Sounds great. I need a bath.”

“Same.”

“You go first. You haven’t this whole time. I’ll start the fire.”

“Mind if I use your shampoo?” Hopper asked.

“Go for it.”

They made their way down a steep incline and closer to the water. As Emilia built up the kindling and sticks, she watched as Hopper peeled his shirt and pants off, wading into the swimming hole. She admired his broad shoulders and thick arms. Imagined them wrapping around her as he pulled her close, caressing her wet skin. _Fuck_. A heat built between her legs and her cheeks flushed. _Get yourself together_.

Her thoughts jarred as Hopper called out to her. “There are a ton of crawdads in here. Let’s have some for dinner.”

“Oh, okay.” Once she had the fire going, she stood and walked to the water, pulling her shirt over her head and slipping out of her shorts. She joined Hopper and motioned for him to pass her the shampoo, which she took, then lathered her hair and body. Hopper’s eyes never left her, and she offered him a shy smile. “Shampoo’s out. I guess this is the cleanest we’re going to be until we find our way out.”

“Uh-huh.”

Emilia played with the strap of her bra, fidgeting. She studied Hopper’s dark puff of chest hair, eyes moving downward toward his love handles, appreciating how a body could be so strong, and yet so soft and comforting at the same time. Her eyes darted up to meet his, and before she knew what possessed her to do it, she scooped up a great big handful of water and splashed him with it.

“Are you—this is seriously what you’re doing?” But he grinned while he said it, then dove into the water to take chase. Emilia shrieked and swam out to deeper water, but Hopper moved faster than her. He grabbed her arm, pulling her toward him and dunking her under the water. She popped back up with a yell and attempted to dunk Hopper under water, which ended up with her on his back, arms wrapped around his neck.

“Why won’t you dunk, dammit,” she said, and he held his breath and took her under with him. They both popped back up, laughing, and waded to shore to catch crayfish.

“You’re something else, Mia,” Hopper said, watching as she lifted rocks, hand darting to capture the wriggling crustaceans.

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Thanks.” She tossed each one to Hopper, and he held them, wrapped up in his shirt. Once they’d filled it to capacity, they made their way to shore and sat down by the fire, attempting a makeshift pan with a flat rock to fry the eggs and cook the crayfish.

“So this is just how we are now, huh?” Hopper asked.

“What do you mean?” Emilia asked, using a stick to attempt an egg scramble.

“Hanging out in our underwear, not giving a damn.”

“Yeah, well, I think the modesty ship sailed a long time ago. How many days?”

“This is day five.”

“God, it feels like it’s been a lot longer than that. Bad for obvious reasons. Good, because I feel like I’ve known you for a lot longer than five days.”

Hopper raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure that’s a good thing?”

“I think it is. Should it not be?”

“Like I said before, I can be a real shithead sometimes.”

“I can, too, though.”

Hopper chuckled. “You throwing shit back in my face after I bombarded you with it does not a shithead make.”

“I’m not talking about that.” Emilia took a breath, summoning courage. “I’m talking about catching feelings for someone when I have a boyfriend.”

Hopper pressed his lips together, stressing his next words. “I told you I’m no good for anyone. Anyway, I thought you said you were on a break?”

“We are…but it’s complicated, you know?”

“Mia—”

“No, it’s okay,” she said, tears stinging her eyes as she willed everything inside of her to keep them at bay. “I get it. I’m gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.” She stood up, grabbing her bag and clothes, walking away toward the woods.

“Mia!” Hopper called after her. “Please don’t.”

She whirled around. “I really do have to use the bathroom!” When she finally found herself alone, she sat on the ground and buried her face in her hands. Hadn’t he been—She’d thought he was—Was she really this rusty after five years? Maybe what Jake said was true. Maybe she was lucky to have him. She steadied her breathing, practicing acting nonchalant as she changed into dry underwear and threw her shirt and shorts on. _Stupid_ , she thought. _So fucking stupid_.

When she made her way back to camp, Hopper waited. “Why did you run off like that?” he asked.

“I told you I had to go to the bathroom. Sometimes, it just hits, you know?”

His eyes darted between hers, head tilted down. “You okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I just thought that—”

“Everything’s cool. No worries.”

“Okay.” He looked like he wasn’t sure if he believed her.

Emilia had sort of stumbled into a relationship with Jake. They’d met at a friend’s birthday party, and he asked her out the following week. That date turned into several more dates until they became exclusive. They fought a lot, and she often thought of calling it off, but after settling into the relationship, the fear of loneliness kept her from doing much about it. She’d lived with him for three years, but after having to find places to stay on a minute’s notice every time he demanded she leave, she moved out and in with Jess. She’d been there for a year, still seeing Jake and even staying over for extended periods, but never officially moving back in.

She considered how pathetic that must look. Jess never judged her, but Emilia knew she thought little of Jake. _Maybe I’m broken. Too broken_ , Emilia pondered.

Hopper snapped her out of her thoughts. “Good meal.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Compared to how we’ve been eating, it’s like a feast.” She forced a smile and hoped it looked natural.

That night, the temperature dipped into the low forties, the coldest it’d gotten thus far. She lay in her sleeping bag, shivering. Hopper lay several feet away from her, and she knew that if she hadn’t been so stupid earlier that evening, she could be getting a warm night’s sleep.

It was almost as if Hopper sensed her discomfort, or maybe he just heard her teeth chattering. Either way, he turned over to face her. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You cold?”

“Freezing.”

“Uh, you want me to, uh—”

“Please.”

Hopper scooted over close to Emilia, wrapping his arm around her and resting his chin against her shoulder. “Sorry about earlier.”

“No, I totally get it. It’s fine. I’m glad to have you as a friend. No doubt I’d be dead if it weren’t for you.”

“Same. You warm enough?”

“Yeah, this is better. Thanks.”

Hopper squeezed her, and Emilia closed her eyes, imagining what it would be like for him to kiss her neck. To turn around and be met with his lips on hers. But it would stay hidden in her fantasies, for a friendship with Jim Hopper was better than nothing at all.

 


	6. Day 6

Six days. They’d covered close to sixty miles, Emilia estimated. At first, she took pleasure in their setting and its unique ecosystem. But by then, it all looked the same. She’d lost weight. She hadn’t gotten enough sleep. Her feet began bothering her again. The pressure from walking up and down hilly and mountainous terrain had taken its toll. Clouds blanketed the sky and threatened rain. She and Hopper performed the same motions. Walk. Look for food along the way. Walk some more. Eat a little bit. Walk again. Walk and then camp. By the time they found a spot to build yet another fire, Emilia guessed her emotional margin to be about a negative two.

Hopper hadn’t said much at all that day. They sat at their camp in silence while the sun set. Emilia turned to him. “What are you thinking about?”

His eyes matched the clouds, dark and somber. “We shoulda stayed by the train.”

“Yeah.” She couldn’t reassure him by that point.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” She scooted next to him, running her hand up and down his arm.

“You don’t have to comfort me. I made a shit call and I don’t deserve it.”

“I’m not. There’s a decent chance we’re the last person the other sees. No point in expending energy being mad at you. I’d rather just—be in this together, you know?”

When he looked at her, there were tears in his eyes. He pulled her in close, stroking her arm with his thumb as he kissed the top of her head. The gesture warmed her, a sanctuary when everything felt cruel.

“We need more wood for the fire,” Hopper said after awhile. “l’ll go get it.” He got up and walked toward the denser part of the forest. Emilia stayed, pulling her knees to her chest as she stoked the fire. Not long after, a crackling sounded deep in the woods, followed by a crash that sent vibrations through the ground.

“Hopper!” Emilia screamed, getting to feet and running for the trees. She found him stumbling out of the woods, blood trickling down his arm and twigs stuck in his hair. She ran to him and threw her arms around him. “Oh, god! What happened?”

“Tree toppled and about killed me.”

“But you’re okay, though, right?” And then she started crying.

“Hey, hey. What’s going on?” He stroked her cheek.

“If you—I couldn’t—”

“It’s okay. I’m right here.”

Emilia nodded, trying to get ahold of herself. “Take your shirt off,” she said. “We need to see how bad it is.”

Hopper grimaced as he pulled his shirt over his head. Emilia examined his wound, a long gash on his shoulder and running down his back. She led him back to camp and pulled her water bottle out of her bag to rinse it, then held his shirt to his wound to stop the bleeding. He sucked in air through clenched teeth. “Fuck, that hurts.”

“Well stand still and quit being a baby.” She used her pocket knife to tear a strip from his shirt, tying it around his shoulder before returning to his back. “If I hold this here for a good ten minutes, it should stop the bleeding, and hopefully by morning, you’ll be able to put your other shirt on. The backpack could be tricky, though.” Hopper said nothing, twisting his head to watch her. She gave a small smile. “What?”

He shook his head, looking away, a half-smile forming on his lips. “Nothing.”

Ten minutes passed, and Emilia checked Hopper’s back. “Looks pretty good. I can’t believe—”

He turned around, lifting her chin and capturing her lips with his, softly, before opening his eyes and exploring hers. Emilia stared at him, mouth open and eyes wide, blinking. He leaned down once more to kiss her, this time, sliding his tongue into her mouth. 

She pulled away, holding her hand on his chest. “Wait, what? But I thought—”

“Look, Mia, I haven’t exactly been honest with you. I do think you’re cute. I’m attracted to you, and the sexual tension is killing me. Doesn’t change that I’m still not good for you, but god, I want you, and at this point, I don’t really care if that makes me a bad person.”

Emilia gazed up at him, biting her lip. “Why don’t you let me decide if you’re good for me or not.” She ran her hands down his chest, her heart thumping inside her own.

Neither of them said anything more as Hopper dipped his mouth to hers, backing her against an aspen tree. She raised her arms up as he pulled her shirt over her head in one swift motion and undid her shorts, tugging them down. Emilia’s head swam as she worked at Hopper’s pants. She pulled them down, groaning as her eyes locked on his tented briefs. The desire to feel him inside her was no longer that, but a full-blown need. Their hands fumbled, ridding each other of every last bit of clothing. Emilia had no time to regard his naked form, for the second their clothes came off, he positioned himself and pushed into her, right up against the bark of the tree. 

“Oh god!” Emilia said, a slight burn lingering as he filled her up.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m great. Just—fuck me. Please."

Hopper tangled his fingers through her hair, his lips crashing down on hers as he thrust into her over and over. “Mmh, can we move?” Emilia mumbled against his lips. As it turned out, skin on tree bark did not feel very good. He bent down, picking her up as she squealed, and carried her over to the sleeping bags. Losing no time, he slid right back into her, hips curling into her pelvis and sending shivers throughout her body. She moaned against his lips with each push and pull, feeling him glide along her walls and bottom out inside of her. He growled, pawing at her tits, and it didn’t matter that she’d regrown hair in a lot of the same places he had it or that his body odor smelled a little more pungent than she’d like. It was messy and imperfect and just fucking _good._

“You getting close?” Hopper asked a little bit later.

“Yeah, just give me a minute.” She wrapped one leg around his thigh and one across his ass, urging him as deep as he could go. She wanted to grip his shoulders but, mindful of his injury, settled for his hair instead. Giving herself over to the building tension inside her, she drank up all of Hopper’s little grunts and moans. She clenched everything, the sensation almost too much. “Touch my clit,” she said, and he pressed his thumb against it. “Oh, Jesus, Hop! I’m co—” She cried out as her nerve endings exploded, aftershocks all the way down to her toes.

“Fuck, me too,” Hopper grunted as he gripped her hips, two hard thrusts as he emptied himself into her.

When he rolled off of her and carefully adjusted to his side, Emilia’s chest heaved up and down. She said nothing, staring at the sky.

“We good?” Hopper asked.

Emilia nodded, then turned her head and smiled. “Yeah.” She took his hand, running her fingers up and down his. 

Hopper scooted in toward her back, grabbing her hand and tucking her under his arm. “Another day tomorrow.”

“Yep. Another day.” She flipped over to face him, cupping his cheek and pressing her lips to his. “I’m really glad you’re with me.”

“I know.”

Emilia frowned slightly. “Why did you save me, anyway? If you hadn’t pushed me, I would’ve died on that train.”

Hopper squinted at her. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“You didn’t save anyone else.”

He balked. “Seriously? You’re blaming me for—”

“No no no, of course not,” Emilia said. “I’m just wondering why you chose me.”

“Because you were there. And alive. I couldn’t fucking _see_ anyone else, but you were right next to me.”

“Okay, that’s understandable.”

“Why are you asking me this?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. Just trying to make sense of all this.”

Hopper’s expression warmed. “I know the feeling.”

“We never did get more wood for the fire,” Emilia said.

“Hey, I am _not_ going back in those trees. They tried to kill me.”

Emilia giggled. “Well, it’s not too bad out tonight. I don’t mind snuggling up next to you to stay warm. So long as you’re not bothered by my stubbly legs poking you.”

Hopper pulled her in close. “I’m okay with that, as long as _you’re_ not bothered by something else poking _you_.”

Emilia blushed. “Oh my god, Hop.”

He grinned as if he’d just come up with the most clever joke in the world. 

She turned over and pressed her back flush up against him, pulling his arm over her. She wiggled her butt against his groin, smirking.

“If you don’t cool it, you’re going to get yourself in trouble.”

“Please. Like you can get it up again that quickly.”

“Watch me try.”

“Goodnight, Hop.”

He chuckled. “Goodnight.”


	7. Day 7

Emilia woke to sunshine bearing down on her. She sweated underneath the sleeping bag she and Hopper shared as a blanket, so she threw it off, causing Hopper to grunt in his sleep. She smirked as her eyes traveled downward and landed on— _huh_ , she thought. She hadn’t really gotten a good look the night before, but she sure had gotten a good _feel_ for it, and if that had been any indication, she shouldn’t have been surprised by his morning wood. And yet, she stared, mouth cracked open before she pressed it shut, biting her lower lip. _I probably shouldn’t be staring. Okay. You can stop staring now. Any time, Emilia._ Hopper stirred, and she jumped, rolling over and pretending to be asleep. He propped himself up, and she could feel him looking at her.

“You awake?” he asked.

She didn’t answer.

“I know you are. I felt you move.”

Emilia rolled over to face him, fake-yawning. “Oh, hey Hop.”

“Hey. Why is the sleeping bag gone?”

She shrugged. “You must’ve thrown it off. It’s pretty warm.”

“Oh, _I_ must’ve thrown it off? Something tells me you did.” He pressed his upper half on top of her, leaning down to kiss her before backing away. “You got any toothpaste left?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Be right back.” Hopper got up to dig through Emilia’s bag for her toothbrush and toothpaste while Emilia propped herself up on her elbows to admire his naked backside. He finished up, then brought the toothbrush to her. She brushed quickly, then threw it over her shoulder and pulled Hopper back on top of her. Their mouths met, tongues entwining, teeth nibbling on lips.

“How’s your back feeling?” Emilia asked.

“Sore, but I think I can manage.” He started back toward her mouth when they heard snuffling by their burnt-out fire pit. “What the hell is that?” Hopper asked as Emilia tilted her head up to look past him.

“Oh, fuck no,” she whispered. “It’s a fucking bear.”

“Are you shitting me? What the hell is it doing here?”

“It’s probably wondering the same thing about us.”

“How do we get it to go away?”

“Just don’t run. Or scream. I think we’re supposed to make ourselves look big and talk to it so it will know we’re humans?”

“That doesn’t sound real.”

“Fine,” Emilia said. “I’ll do it.” She started to get up, but Hopper pushed her back down. “No way. I’ll do it.”

Hopper stood up on shaky feet as the black bear watched him. “Hey. Uh, my name’s Hopper. I’m a human and don’t taste very good, so, uh, you should leave. Also, there’s no food here. If there was, we would’ve eaten it already.” He slowly raised his arms above his head.

The bear stood on its hind legs and woofed.

“Fuckfuckfuck,” Hopper said.

“Remain calm,” Emilia told him.

“Easy for you to say. What if I run and distract it so you can get away?”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

Eventually, the bear tired of their arguing, and after shoving their backpacks around with its nose, turned and retreated the way it came. 

Hopper slumped to the ground. “Let’s pack up and go. Now.”

The pair quickly dressed, throwing their stuff into their packs. Hopper winced as he slid his backpack on, but didn’t complain. They headed east under the blazing sun. Not a single cloud in the sky, Emilia knew they had to find water, and fast. A day and a half of no food combined with the heat meant that they kept a slower pace, and Emilia soon found herself dizzy. After an hour of walking, her head spun, and she grabbed onto Hopper’s arm to steady herself.

“What’s wrong?” Hopper asked.

“I’m just dizzy, that’s all.”

“Here, drink my water.”

“No, it’s all you have left.”

“I’ll be fine. Drink it.”

Emilia took the bottle reluctantly and finished it off.

“Do you need to rest?”

“Yeah, just for a minute.” She sat on a rock, beads of sweat forming on her face. “I don’t feel so well.”

“Maybe we need to wait this heat out and find some shelter,” Hopper said.

“No, we can’t afford that. We’ve got to find food.”

“I can go forage while you rest.”

“No. I can walk. Come on.” Emilia forced herself up, clutching Hopper’s hand. He pressed his eyebrows together, jaw clenched as he watched her struggle.

“Let’s go this way,” he said, trying to lead her toward a patch of forest.

Emilia broke. “No! That’s not east! We have to go east! She threw herself into Hopper’s shirt, sobbing.

“Stop crying.”

“Shit, Hopper. We’re gonna die out here, and you’re telling me to stop crying.”

“Stop. Crying.”

Emilia quieted down, looking up at him.

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“I think I hear water. A river. If I can just figure out in what direction…”

Everything went black.

Emilia woke to cold water splashing on her face. She tried to sit up, but Hopper stilled her, and she realized he had her head in his lap as he dipped his water bottle into the rapids beside them. They sat so close, a rogue splash could’ve taken them in.

“Take a drink,” Hopper said, helping her tip her head to sip from the bottle. “You passed out.”

“How did we get here?” Emilia asked. At the moment, they rested in the shade, but sunlight broke through the scattered trees around the rocky river.

“I carried you.”

“You what?”

“I took a chance. Walked about a fourth of a mile. Found this river. Couldn’t get you in, so tried to cool you down this way.”

“Where are our bags?”

“I left them.”

“But—”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Hopper said. “I can go back for them once I’m sure you’re okay.

Emilia nodded.

Once he felt good about it, Hopper left Emilia to rest under a tree and headed out. Emilia took a nap, and when she woke, an hour had passed. Hopper still hadn’t returned. _What if he decided I’m too weak and set off by himself?_ she wondered. _No, he wouldn’t do that. Would he?_ No, based on everything she’d seen of him, she didn’t think he’d do that. Even more likely, something had happened to him. She spent the next ten minutes debating whether she should try to track the way back to the bags when she spotted Hopper through the trees. “What took so long?” she asked once he’d made it back to her and set down their bags. “I thought something had happened.”

“Sorry. I wanted to see if this river led anywhere, so I did that first before backtracking.”

“Does it?”

“Yeah, about a mile downstream. It calms a lot, and I think it would be a good place to set up camp.” He helped her up, and they worked their way downstream until they came to the spot he had found. Dense firs lined the shallow water, a rocky bank on each side. Hopper set to work gathering dry driftwood. Emilia walked over to the river, dipping her feet in just as Hopper finished building the fire. He joined Emilia at the water’s edge. “There’s fish,” he said.

“I know.”

“You gonna try?”

“I can.” Emilia found a stick and set to work carving it while Hopper began pulling needles and shaving small pieces of bark from the surrounding fir trees. When Emilia had finished, she stripped naked and waded into the middle of the river. She spotted a nice-sized fish, but when she threw her weapon, she missed. She grabbed it, trying again for another fish, then another, getting more and more frustrated with each try. Finally, she threw her spear too far, and she couldn’t catch it in time before the river washed it away. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she headed back to shore, Hopper’s eyes on her. “I couldn’t do it,” she said, and he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head.

“It’s fine. We’ll have some pine to eat.”

“Pine?”

“I’m not sure if it’s edible, but at this point, I figure it doesn’t matter. Pine needles and bark. Well, not the outer bark. Carved out some of the softer insides.” Emilia choked it down while Hopper took a dip in the river. When he returned, he ate the remainder, then spread out his sleeping bag and laid down on his side.

“So this is how we are now, huh?” Emilia asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Just hanging out, naked.”

Hopper grinned. “You’re funny, even when you don’t feel well.”

Emilia snuggled up next to him. “What do you think dying is like?”

“I’ve thought about that a lot. I think it’s different in different situations. It has to be.”

“I don’t want to give up. But I can’t—I can’t keep up hoping like this.”

“I know.”

“Do you think—um, do you think you’ll see Sara?”

Hopper squeezed Emilia’s arm. “Uh, I want to say yes. Desperately. But I don’t think I believe that.”

Emilia hummed. “I’m not sure that I believe it, either. I guess I hope it, though.” She turned around to face Hopper, placing her hand on his cheek. “Especially for you.”

Hopper gripped Emilia’s hair as his mouth crashed down on hers. He pressed frenzied kisses all over her face and neck before pulling away, breathing ragged. “I don’t want to do this if it’s going to tire you out.”

“No, please,” Emilia begged. “I need to feel something good. To forget, even if just for a few minutes. Just—get on top of me. I won’t have to do much, but I need to feel this.”

Hopper nodded, positioning himself above her and using his fingers to ready her, unlike the night before. He pushed into her with a groan, and she grabbed his ass, urging him.

“Take it as hard as you need,” Emilia said. “Don’t worry about me. I won’t break. I want to get lost in it.”

Hopper retreated, then slammed into her as she yelped. His eyes widened, but Emilia rubbed his arm, encouraging him. He closed his eyes, throwing himself into the moment. He gripped her hips so hard, Emilia knew she’d get bruises. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. She cried out with every thrust, and soon, she could only feel the pleasure and pain and Hopper’s fire. It consumed her. She knew he was working something out through all this, and she wanted to feel all of it and nothing at the same time. Sweat formed every place their skin rubbed together, and pretty soon all Emilia knew was the pounding and the grunting and the gasping. Her climax caught her off guard with a blinding white heat that radiated throughout her body. Her ears rang as tears streamed down her cheeks, and just like that, Hopper was right with her.

“Fuck,” he hissed through his teeth before he stilled and climbed off of her.

“You’re bleeding, Hop,” Emilia said, sitting up to get a better look at his shoulder before noticing the blood on her hand. “Oh, I must’ve done that. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you were digging your nails into my wound pretty hard. I didn’t want to say anything. You’re bleeding, too.” She looked down, and it was there, sure enough. Only a little, but Hopper had noticed it. “Sorry if I was too rough.”

“It was perfect. I got to feel something else for a little bit, which is what I wanted.”

“So what now?”

“Sleep, I guess?”

“It’s not even dark, yet.”

Emilia shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Does it?”

“No, probably not.”

Emilia wished more than anything for a different outcome. She’d kept up hope that they’d find their way out, but as they neared the end of day seven, it seemed more and more unlikely. Hopper had led her there, and yet, she couldn’t find it in herself to be upset with him. Perhaps she was just too tired. Or maybe, if the black hole thing was true, fate played a part. No, she didn’t really believe in that, and still, she couldn’t imagine being stuck with anyone else.


	8. Day 8

“Hopper, wake up.” Emilia nudged him, but he just groaned, pulling the sleeping bag over his head. “Hey, I feel a little better this morning. It’s not as hot. Why don’t we try to get in another day of walking?” Hopper still didn’t answer. She pulled the sleeping bag off of him, and he turned toward her, squinting.

“I think we should stay here,” he said.

“What? Why?”

“How much longer can we walk, Mia? Face it. We’re done. You said so yourself last night.”

“I know…But then I got some rest, and I think we should at least try. Please, Hop. I don’t want to leave you here. I can’t.”

Hopper stared at the ground for a minute before answering. “Fine. Let’s get our stuff packed up.”

Emilia took control of the compass and led them east across the river and into the fir trees, rising in elevation. As soon as she began walking, her dizziness returned, but she didn’t let on, because then Hopper would have an excuse to stop for good. She wanted to walk until they couldn’t walk anymore. They mostly traveled in silence. It wasn’t until Emilia heard a voice that she spoke up. “Hey, Hop! Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“I heard someone talking.”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

She grabbed his hand, stilling him. “Listen.”

They stood and listened to the creaking trees. A bird whistled nearby, and an unseen creature pattered across the forest floor. “Yeah. Nothing.” Hopper said and continued walking.

 _Am I going crazy?_ Emilia wondered. Then she heard it again. It sounded like a whisper. “Someone is whispering. I can hear it.”

Hopper turned, gripping Emilia’s arms and staring her in the face. “No one is here. No one. Only us.” He let her go and whirled back around.

She took a swig of her water. Shadows darted in her peripherals, but when she turned her head, nothing but trees surrounded them. She closed her eyes. _What if I’m imagining all of this and I’m really here alone? What if nothing in my life is real, and this is just some sick experiment where scientists are manipulating my brain, and I’m just starting to catch wind of it?_ Her head started aching. “Hopper, have you ever wondered if people have taken over your brain, and you’re not really in the world you think you’re in?”

“ _No._ ”

“Well, I was just thinking—”

“Five o’clock. If we don’t find a road by five o’clock, I’m stopping, regardless of where we are.”

“Okay,” Emilia whispered.

They barely talked the rest of the day. Hopper announced finding a handful of raspberries, and Emilia had to stop to rest for about ten minutes, but other than that, the silence was palpable.

Emilia checked her watch and stopped walking. Hopper kept on until he realized she wasn’t following and turned around. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s five,” she said. “We can stop.”

“Great.” Hopper dropped his pack off of his back and sat on the forest floor, gazing up into the canopy of pine trees. Emilia did the same.

“I’m sorry if I made you upset or something,” Emilia said. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry.”

Hopper’s eyes darkened. “You didn’t do anything, Mia.”

“Then why are you acting like you’re mad at me?”

“Because I’ve had a bad day.” He laughed bitterly. “It feels so stupid to even say that. Sounds like I got chewed out at work or something.”

She put her head on his shoulder. “Let’s just get some rest and reevaluate in the morning, okay?”

He side-eyed her and cracked a smile, putting his arm around her shoulder. “Sure, Mia.”

A couple hours later, as the sun began to set, Emilia stood up. “Going to the bathroom.”

“M’kay.”

Emilia ventured into the woods a little farther than she would normally go. She thought that maybe if she looked around for a little bit, she might come across something to eat. She pulled out her pocket knife to cut away some bark from a pine tree and bring it back to camp. It hadn’t tasted good at all, but at least it kept them from starving. Once she cut a few strips away, she turned to find another tree and stopped. A clearing appeared to be up ahead. _Probably my mind playing tricks on me again_ , she told herself, but she decided to investigate, anyway. Perhaps there would be a lake or river with crayfish, or even a field of edible flowers. But when she pushed through the trees, she gasped. Dropping her collection of pine, she fell to her knees, barely able to breathe. A road. _A goddam road!_ She pulled herself back up and raced through the woods on shaky legs, tripping once, and getting right back up again. “Hopper!” she yelled, then again.

When she got back to camp, she collapsed onto the dirt, pulling Hopper up by his collar. “Hopper!”

“What the hell, M—”

“A road! It’s a fucking road!”

She saw Hopper’s eyes widen in a moment of hopefulness before becoming despondent. “Mia, you’ve not been well all day. Are you sure you weren’t just, uh, seeing things?”

“Hop, I know what I saw, and it was a road!” She tried to pull him up by his arm.

He sighed. “Fine. I’ll come check it out.”

“We should pack up our things.”

“And put the fire out only for me to have to restart it? No thanks.”

Emilia fumed. “I know I’ve been out of sorts, but can you please give me the benefit of the doubt?”

“Fine. Sorry. I’m still not putting the fire out or carrying my shit.”

“Just—come on!” She pulled on his arm once more.

“Okay, okay. Jeez, I’m coming.” 

Emilia led Hopper through the trees about two hundred yards and to the spot she saw the clearing. “See? It’s—”

“A road.” Hopper stared down the dirt road, silent.

Emilia put her hand on his shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I just—I can’t believe you found a road. I was so sure that—I thought—” He turned to her. “You’re great."

She smiled. “You’re pretty wonderful yourself.”

“You stay here,” Hopper said. “I’ll go get our stuff and put out the fire. If anyone comes, wait for me.”

“No way I could leave you.”

Thirty minutes passed before Hopper returned with their bags. No one had driven by, which didn’t entirely surprise Emilia. The pair sat next to each other against a tree trunk, waiting. Emilia grabbed Hopper’s hand, squeezing it. “What are you most looking forward to?” she asked him.

He sighed. “A burger. And fries. And fuck, chocolate cake. And beer. And my cigarettes.”

Emilia laughed. “So this wasn’t enough to break the habit?”

“No way. What about you? What are you most looking forward to?”

She thought a minute. “Well, besides getting some food, a nice, hot shower.”

Hopper groaned. “Same.”

Emilia turned toward him, studying his profile until he turned to look at her. She leaned in, placing a soft kiss on his mouth, then pulled back, gauging his reaction. They both thought for sure that they’d die in those mountains and that the other would be the last person they saw. This certainly changed things.

A small smile formed on Hopper’s lips, but he didn’t say anything, and he didn’t kiss her back. _Maybe he doesn’t want to miss a passing car_ , she thought, but she frowned a little, anyway.

They decided to take turns sleeping so that one person could alert the other if a car approached. Finally, at around nine o’clock, headlights crested the hill, heading toward them. “Hop!” Emilia shook him. “Hopper, wake up! It’s a car!” She stood, waving her hands above her head and yelling as the truck slowed and a man rolled down his window.

“Need help?” he asked.

“Yes!” Emilia said. “We’ve been lost for over a week, and we need to get to a hospital!”

“Jesus Christ. Get in. Nearest hospital’s thirty minutes. Hope you’re able to hold out that long.”

“Thanks,” Hopper said as the pair got in the back with their bags. “And yeah, we’ll be fine.”

The man started driving. “Name’s Frank.”

“I’m Emilia. This is Hopper.”

“How’d you end up getting lost for a week?”

“You hear about the train crash?” Hopper asked.

“Yeah, everyone’s been talking about it. They said a section of the the tracks collapsed. No survivors.”

“Well, we’re the two survivors.”

“No shit! So you been wandering the mountains this whole time?”

“Yep.”

“Why didn’t you stay by the crash?”

Emilia and Hopper looked at each other. “We’ve asked ourselves that a lot this week,” Hopper said. 

“Uh, Frank?” Emilia asked.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“You think there’s like, a McDonald’s or something on the way?”

He laughed. “Sure is. Not for another twenty minutes or so. Tell you what. I’ll buy. I’m sure you’re both starving.”

“That would be amazing.”

“Hey, Frank. You wouldn’t happen to have a cigarette on ya?”

“Sure do,” he said, passing one back to Hopper along with his lighter. Hopper cracked the window, lit the cigarette, and inhaled deeply, breathing out the smoke with a satisfied sigh. Emilia couldn’t help but grin.

Once they reached the hospital, they thanked Frank and headed inside. When they told the front desk who they were, the whole room seemed to erupt into a quiet energy. The nurses placed Hopper and Emilia in separate rooms, and it didn’t take long before the media caught wind and Emilia started receiving visitors.

“Yes, we managed to survive a week on the little food we found.”

“No, we didn’t know each other beforehand.”

“Yes, we became quite good friends.”

“I got a lot of blisters and fainted once, but I didn’t get seriously hurt.”

“I don’t know why we didn’t stay by the crash.”

Eventually, the visitations died down, and Emilia closed her eyes to get some rest. Nurses moved in and out, checking vitals and blood work. She wondered how Hopper faired, wishing she could talk to him. “Excuse me,” she asked one of the nurses. “How is Hopper—um, Jim Hopper doing?”

“Oh, he’s doing just fine,” the nurse said. “He’ll probably be discharged at the same time as you.” She stopped writing on her clipboard, turning to face Emilia. “I just have to say that your story is so cute. Terrible, of course, but the other nurses and I think it’s so sweet how you two became so close after you’d been perfect strangers.”

Emilia smiled. They could put Hopper’s black hole theory to bed. They’d come out the other side a little worse for the wear, but fine, and Emilia felt grateful, lucky even, to have gone through it all by his side.

Finally, at three a.m., the doctor discharged her. She found Hopper waiting in the lobby. “You check out okay, too?” she asked him.

“Yeah. Dehydrated and a bit malnourished, but yeah. They patched up my shoulder.” He scratched the back of his head. “Hey, I’m gonna get a taxi to a motel. Wanna hitch a ride with me?”

“Yes! I am so tired. I feel like I could sleep for days!”

He smiled. “Same. Cab’s on me.”

Once they’d reached the motel, Hopper walked up to the desk while Emilia ran to the bathroom. When she stepped back around the corner, Hopper stood there, waiting for her. He held his hand out. “Here’s your key.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Um, I wasn’t sure if you had your wallet on you, so I just paid for both our rooms.”

“Well, I really appreciate it, Hop. Thanks,” she said, taking the key. “I do have my wallet, though, so no more of that.”

Hopper laughed awkwardly. “So, I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yep. I guess you will.” She turned around and headed down the hall before Hopper could see the flush in her cheeks and tears her eyes.

“So stupid,” she mumbled to herself as she slid the key through the slot and walked into her motel room. She’d just assumed they’d share a room. Hadn’t even considered that Hopper might not want to. As she stepped out of her clothing and into the shower, she let the water rush over her head and down her body, breathing in the steam. _This was just a—just a what?_ she wondered. How could one even categorize this? One night stand didn’t seem very fitting. Neither did relationship, of course. Something in the middle? Friends with benefits? If that was it, then why did she feel so damn _sad_?

 _You don’t even know what he’s thinking. He could just want a night to himself to rest. He’s not exactly great at explaining his feelings,_ Emilia reassured herself. _Yeah, it’ll all be fine in the morning. I’ll get cleaned up. Wash my clothes in the sink the best I can. Maybe we can go out for a nice breakfast. Talk about this._ She stepped out of the shower, wrapping towels around her hair and body. She wiped the condensation from the mirror, looking at herself. Geez, she looked terrible. Her skin appeared pale and gaunt, but with freckles from the sun, some connected together on her cheekbones to look like brown splotches. Her lips lacked color, dry from the absence of moisturizer all week. She looked like she’d lost ten pounds, and it made her look a bit sick. _Wonderful_ , she thought. _Hopper’s been having sex with this._

She scrubbed her clothes in the sink, laying them out to dry, then ate a couple candy bars she’d gotten at the vending machine on the way out of the hospital. She climbed into bed, snuggling under the covers, and even though the mattress felt lumpy and the duvet scratchy, she couldn’t remember a time sleeping in a bed more comfortable.


	9. Day 9

The next morning, Emilia woke to a knock at the door. She climbed out of bed and peered through the peephole, seeing Hopper. She threw a towel around herself, quickly checked her hair in the mirror, and opened the door, smiling. “Hey. Get a good night’s sleep?”

“The best,” he said, taking note of her towel. “Is this a bad time?”

She glanced down, then back up at him. “Oh, no. I just didn’t have any clean clothes and set mine out to dry last night. They’re still a little damp. You don’t have to stand there. Come in.”

Hopper walked into the room. “Yours is a little nicer than mine,” he said, fiddling with the closet door. 

Emilia sat on her bed and patted the spot next to her. “Sit.”

“No, I shouldn’t. I can't stay long. I booked a flight, and it leaves three hours from now. The airport’s an hour and a half away.”

All the air left Emilia’s chest. “Oh. Um, well, hopefully you got a good price on it.”

“I didn’t.”

“Okay.”

“Look, Emilia—”

He’d called her by her full name. She knew what was coming then as she forced her tears back and played the stoic. “I know what you're going to say, Hopper, and it's fine.”

He squinted. “It is?”

“Yes. Just say what you want to say.”

“It’s just that, uh, I enjoyed getting to know you. Would’ve been better in different circumstances.” He chuckled. Emilia didn’t even crack a smile. “Anyway, I really thought we weren't going to survive, you know? So, um, sorry for that. And I’m really not looking for something right now, especially not long-distance.”

He might as well have told her that he regretted having sex with her. She kept a straight face and calmly responded. “Of course. I’m not looking for anything, either. I mean, Jake and I will probably work things out. We always do. It was what it was, and I wish you well in Hawkins.” She held out her hand, but Hopper pulled her in for a hug, making it all the more painful.

“Thanks. For everything.” He turned toward the door and, looking back only once, walked out of Emilia’s life. Only when the door closed did she collapse onto her bed, breaking down.

***

“Emilia! Oh my god, Emilia!” Jess ran through the O’Hare International Airport and toward her best friend, throwing her arms around her.

“Jess! It feels so good to be home.”

“I can’t fucking believe what happened to you,” she said as an older woman shot a glare her way. She lowered her voice. “I still don’t. You’ve got to tell me everything. I picked up some takeout. It’s sitting at home.”

Jess stood a couple inches taller than Emilia, and with doe eyes, wavy auburn hair, and a creamy complexion, Emilia felt boring in comparison. Whenever they’d go out, Jess got the most attention.

“Where’s Jake?” Emilia asked.

“Jake? Oh, right. Maybe I forgot to tell him.”

“ _Jess_!”

“Come on. You can see him tomorrow. Tonight, it’s just you and me.”

Back at their apartment, Emilia sat, cross-legged, on the couch, wet hair drooping over her oversized t-shirt as she rubbed her freshly-shaven legs. She grabbed a sushi roll, popping it into her mouth. 

“So, wait, you ate tree bark?” Jess asked, gawking at her friend.

Emilia had just finished telling the whole story, starting from the moment she blacked out on the train and ending with her in the hospital. She left out all the salacious details, only casually mentioning her interactions with Hopper.

“Yeah. I mean, I was there for eight days. Wouldn’t you have eaten it?”

“I don’t know, Em. I can’t imagine.” Jess shifted in her seat, grabbing a sushi roll. “So tell me about Hopper. What was he like?”

“Oh. Um, he was kind of an asshole at first. But, you know, we’d just survived a train crash, so understandable, I guess. We got to talking, and we have some things in common. Grew to be friends by the end of it all.”

“Was he attractive?”

Emilia felt her face flush. “Neither of us were. I mean, come on.”

“You’re not answering my question.”

“Well, he’s older. Forty. Uh, dark blond hair. Balding a bit, but it doesn’t look bad. Heavy brow, kinda gruff. Nice beard. Really blue eyes. He’s quite tall and has a little extra weight on him, but he carries it really well. Like a lumberjack? Or a human version of a bear? Very sweet and caring whenever he thought I was hurt or sick.”

Jess just stared at her. “Oh my god. You’ve got it bad. I can tell.”

“No, I don’t,” Emilia said, reaching for another sushi roll and knocking her drink over in the process. “Shit.” She got up to grab a towel.

“Yes, you do!” Jess yelled into the kitchen. “And he sounds about the opposite of Jake. Well, besides the initial asshole part.”

Emilia smirked as she sat back down, sopping up the water. “Shut up. Jake’s not that bad.”

“Yeah, well. Enough about Jake. I want to know more about Hopper. Did anything happen?”

“What do you mean did anything happen?”

“Don’t play stupid. You know what I’m talking about. Did you sleep together?”

“What the hell, Jess! Nothing happened!” 

“Defensive much?”

“I’m not defensive!”

Jess cocked her head.

“We didn’t!”

“Fine, fine. It’s really too bad.”

“ _Jess_!”

“What?” She feigned innocence. “It’d just be nice for you to enjoy yourself for once.”

“We were lost in the woods! Starving! And Jake! I could never—”

“I said fine. Relax. Sheesh.” She looked at her friend again. “Not even a kiss?”

“No!”

Emilia rarely lied to Jess. She felt stupid enough for misinterpreting what had gone on between Hopper and her. Sharing that stupidity with her best friend would only humiliate her more. Best to just pretend it didn’t happen and let Jess think she was that committed to Jake.


	10. Day 10-Day 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about making Hopper a bit of an asshole the last two chapters (only sort of sorry). I love imperfect people, and Hopper's definitely an imperfect person! 
> 
> I hope you'll feel it was all worth it by the end. About five more chapters to go, I estimate.

**Day 10**

Emilia paced Jake’s apartment. The apartment that used to be hers. “I just don’t understand why you didn’t stay by the wreck,” Jake said. “You went off with a strange man into the woods. That isn’t the Emilia I know.”

“I know, I know, Emilia said. “It was overwhelming, and I guess I wasn’t thinking. But I’m fine. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. How can I trust you to make good decisions in the future? I want to get married after I finish law school. But I need to be able to trust you not to make stupid, impulsive choices.”

Emilia scoffed. “I thought we broke up.”

“Hey, babe,” Jake said, placing his hands on her hips. “You know how it is. That was just a stupid fight.”

“Are you going to kick me out every time we fight when we’re married, too?”

“Of course not,” Jake said. “I just get too in-the-moment. I don’t mean what I say half the time.”

“And the other half?” Emilia asked.

“Come on. I love you so much. You know that. And no one’s going to love your cute little ass as much as I do.” He reached his hand around to her backside, and she shooed it away halfheartedly. “Let’s put on a movie and forget this whole, stupid thing ever happened.”

Emilia frowned. “Sure, Jake.”

**Day 33**

Emilia stared at the test on her bathroom counter, blinking. It couldn’t be, could it? But of course, it could. She’d had sex without protection, and if prior experience had taught her anything, that kind of behavior could get one knocked up. _Fuck_. She’d just started back at her job. She couldn’t afford to take care of a baby. Not by herself. She’d have to tell Jake. He hadn’t reacted favorably the last time, and this time, well…

She shoved the test down into the trash, out of sight. _I don’t have to tell anyone right now_ , Emilia thought. _Maybe I should take a few weeks. Consider my options without the influence of others._ She exited the bathroom, throwing her pjs on and popping a bowl of popcorn. Jess had a date, and Emilia appreciated having the apartment to herself. 

Thirty minutes later, Jess came barreling through the apartment door. “Whew! Got out of there quickly.”

Emilia turned her head, looking over the back of the couch. “Bad date?”

“Uh, you could say that. He told me all the ways I reminded him of his mother and kept trying to touch my hair. I told him I had to pee and got a taxi outta there.”

“Yikes. Glad I’m not dealing with that sort of thing anymore.”

“Heh. Yeah. Gonna run to the bathroom. Whatcha watching?”

“Back to the Future,” Emilia called out as Jess left the room. She didn’t respond, so Emilia turned back to her movie. 

When Jess came out a couple minutes later, she walked over to the couch and stood there, thin lips and a look of inquiry. Emilia took notice of how sedate she’d become.

“You gonna sit down or just stare at me?” Emilia asked, laughing a little. She turned to face her friend.

“Are you…”

“Am I what?”

“Are you pregnant?”

Emilia’s stomach lurched, and she thought she might be sick. “You went through the trash? Why would you do that?”

“Uh, no. There was a box on the floor.”

 _Shit._ She’d thrown the test away and completely forgotten about the box.

“So are you?”

Emilia paused, looking down at her bowl of popcorn. “Yeah.”

“Fuck, Em!” Jess sat on the couch, putting a hand on Emilia’s back. “Does Jake know?”

“Of course not! I just found out a few hours ago!” She cringed. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to snap. It’s been a trying evening.”

“I imagine. How’re you feeling about it?” Jess asked.

“Oh, you know. Scared. Confused. Don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.”

Jess nodded. “Do you think Jake will be happy about it? I mean, I guess I can only hope this’ll be a wake up call and he’ll wise up and start treating you the way you deserve.”

“Is this really a good time for that?”

“Probably not, but you know me.”

“And no, he’s not going to be happy about it.”

Jess tilted her head in thought. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But you never know. Sometimes, this kind of thing changes a person.” She shrugged. “Just trying to think positively.”

Emilia looked Jess in the eyes, pursing her lips together before responding. “No. You don’t get it. Jake won’t be happy about it, because it’s not his. It’s Hopper’s.”

Jess’s eyes grew wide. “Wait, but I thought—”

“I lied, Jess.”

“Why?”

Emilia slouched. “Humiliation, I guess. Because I felt more for that man than I’ve ever felt for anyone, and he turned around and rejected me. He didn’t even fucking give me his number, Jess. After all the shit we went through. Didn’t even want to be friends. I had no choice but to go back to Jake, who I—I have to convince myself I love him. Because I’m bad at love, and I don’t feel like I deserve it—”

“Stop. Don’t ever tell yourself you don’t deserve love. That’s complete and utter bullshit.” Jess wrapped her arms around Emilia. “ _I_ love you. You deserve someone who will give you butterflies, and care for you when you don’t feel well. Someone who’s in your corner and supports you. Someone you have crazy, passionate sex with. Someone who sticks around when things get tough. Someone who loves you desperately.”

Emilia smiled through her tears. “I’m thirty-one, and I’ve never gotten that.”

Jess humphed. “Well, I’m twenty-nine, and it hasn’t happened here, either. But we both deserve it, don’t we?”

“I guess.”

“No, no ‘I guess’. The answer’s an emphatic ‘yes’. And don’t ever feel like you have to lie to me. I’m here, no matter what.” They sat in silence for a few minutes while Jess stole some of her popcorn, placing her head on Emilia’s shoulder. “Have you thought about what you want to do yet?”

“I think I want to keep it. And I’m going to end it with Jake. For good. Regardless of what I decide about the pregnancy, it’s over.”

Jess gave her a small smile. “Then I’ll do everything I can to help you. Are you gonna tell Hopper?”

Emilia groaned, placing her head in her hands. “Yes. He didn’t give me his number, but how many police chiefs could there be in Hawkins, Indiana? Not yet, though. I need to be on my own for a bit. And I don’t want to feel pressured—”

Jess hummed in understanding. “Right. Makes total sense. Just know I support you in whatever you want to do.”

“Thanks, Jess.” Emilia gripped her friend in a tight hug. 


	11. Day 104-Day 117

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowing down a little bit, because I don't have the rest written yet, so I'm having to write and edit the remaining chapters. I did say I would get this up today, so with an hour to spare, here you go.

**Day 104**

Hopper sat at his desk inside the police station, staring into space.

“Yo, earth to Hopper,” Callahan said, standing in the doorway and waving his hand. “What’s eating ya?”

Hopper snapped out of his trance. “Huh,” he grunted. “Nothing. Just thinking about important business.”

Flo popped her head in. “I’ve seen that look for months, and it can only mean one thing. You call her yet?”

“Flo. We’ve been over this. I’m not calling her. And I wasn’t even thinking about her, anyway,” he said.

“Uh-huh. Whatever you say, Hop.”

Hopper scowled. “Seriously, if you all don’t have anything important to tell me, then scram.”

“Actually, yeah. Alice Mayberry called. Wants you to stop over for some rabid raccoon or something,” Callahan said.

“Do I look like animal control?” Hopper squeezed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. “Why can’t you take care of it?”

“She specifically requested you.”

Hopper sighed. “Fine.”

When he got to Alice’s place, he knocked on her door and waited. He didn’t have a good feeling. Particularly because he and Alice had hooked up a month prior, a night of too many drinks at the bar, and he had not returned her calls. He figured this was her way of finally getting ahold of him and chewing him out. The door cracked open, and Hopper peered into the sliver of doorway, meeting Alice’s eye. “You gonna open the door or what?” he said.

“Let yourself in,” she said, so Hopper did, then stopped dead in his tracks. Alice stood in front of him in nothing but a black, satin nightie, slit high at the sides. Very high. 

Hopper swallowed, licking his lips. “ _Fuck_ ,” he muttered under his breath.

“I’ve been trying to reach you for some time now, but you’re a hard man to get ahold of, Jim Hopper.”

“Yeah, well…”

“What’s the matter? I had a lot of fun with you, and I’ve been craving it ever since that night.” She pressed her body to his, running a finger down his cheek before pushing him against the wall and shoving her tongue down his throat.

“Mmph,” Hopper grunted, trying to pull away unsuccessfully. He took her arms and pushed her off of him. “Alice. Stop. I’m on the job.”

“So? Carol said it didn’t stop you with her.”

“Shit, that was two years ago. I’m taking my job seriously these days. Trying, anyway.”

“Well, how ‘bout tonight? You. me. I’ll make you a nice dinner.”

“Alice, just stop. I can’t, alright?”

“Okay,” she said. “What about tomorrow?”

“No. Look. You’re a beautiful woman, but that night was a mistake,” Hopper said.

Alice scowled. “What do you mean a mistake?”

“Just that I’m not in a good place right now, okay?”

“It’s just sex, Hop."

“I know.” He picked up the hat that that had fallen in the commotion and placed it back on his head. “I’ll see you around,” he said, and turned, walking out the door.

Later that evening, Hopper walked into Benny’s Burgers, shuffling into a booth. “Hey Chief,” a young waiter said, walking up to his table. “I’d love to serve you, but we close in fifteen minutes.”

“That’s okay,” Hopper said. “Just waiting for Benny, anyway.”

“Sure thing. I’ll let him know you’re here."

After Benny closed up, he slid into the seat across from Hopper. “Hey. You look a little worse for the wear. Another owl attack Eleanor?” A grin spread across his face.

“I wish.” Both men had a chuckle at that. 

“Do you want me to cook you up a burger and fries?”

“Not if you’re all cleaned up.”

“Nah. Was gonna make myself some, anyway,” Benny said.

“Well in that case, go for it.”

“Only thing’s missing is a couple a beers.”

Hopper held up a brown paper bag. “I’ve come bearing gifts.”

Benny laughed. “You would. Just gimme a sec to make those burgers and I’ll be back.”

Twenty minutes later, Benny and Hopper sat across from each other, shooting the shit, eventually chatting about the opposite sex. “You ever gonna get together with any of the women in this town?” Hopper asked, an arm draped over the back of the booth, beer in hand.

“Nah. I’ve seen what they’ve done to you.”

Hopper laughed. “Too true. You won’t believe what Alice Mayberry did today. So she called about a rabid raccoon, but of course, there wasn’t one. I showed up, and she was wearing fucking lingerie and tried to jump me.”

“And?” Benny asked. “Didn’t you just see her not too long ago?”

“Yeah, but that’s not important. I fucking ran away. Left her there in her underwear.” Hopper laughed, taking a swig of his beer.

“Interesting,” Benny said.

Hopper leaned forward. “Interesting? Why interesting?”

“That’s not like you.”

“Yeah, well, I was on the job, you know? And I don’t like to sleep with the same person more than once. Gets them too attached.”

Benny kept a straight face. “Mhm.”

“It’s true.”

“Was true, maybe.” He paused, taking a drink. “You’ve changed a lot in the last several months.”

“Yeah, well, almost dying will do that to a person.”

“I just mean you’re not nearly the town slut you used to be. It wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain woman by the name of Emilia, would it?”

“What the hell is with everyone today?” Hopper asked. “First Flo. Now you.”

Benny snickered. “Flo, too, huh? Why don’t you just admit it, man?”

“Because there’s nothing to admit. And even if there was, I royally screwed it up. And third, _if_ I wanted, big emphasis on the _if_ , I wouldn’t even know how to contact her. There has to be a million schools in Chicago.”

“I’d start calling around, then.”

Hopper sighed. “You know it’s too late for that. I messed up my chances. Realized too late that I was—”

“In love with her?”

“ _No_! That I didn’t actually want it to be a one and done.” He looked way. “Er, a two and done, I guess.”

“So you do admit it, now? Well, that’s a start,” Benny said.

“What made you guess?”

“Come on. Everybody knows. You’ve been walking around like a lovesick dog since getting back. I thought when you hooked up with Alice, that might make it better, but it actually made it worse.”

Hopper shrugged. “So what now? Even if I do find her, what’ll I say? Sorry, I’m a forty-year-old child? I have a difficult time getting close to people?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what you should say.”

“I doubt she’s even going to want to talk to me. I treated her like shit. Just like I treated Diane like shit. She shouldn’t want to talk to me. I wouldn’t if I were her.”

“You won’t know unless you try,” Benny said.

Hopper groaned, resting his head on the table. “Fuck. I gotta do this, right?”

“Please. You’ve been driving me crazy.”

Hopper looked up at Benny, squinting.

“Yeah, just a _little_.”

 

**Day 110**

Hopper walked into the station the week before Thanksgiving. “Morning, Flo. Powell. Callahan.” He tipped his head toward them. “We get any calls, yet?”

“Just one,” Powell said, grinning. “I think you’ll like this one.”

Hopper turned a chair around leaning the back forward. “Spill."

“Benny told us all how you’re looking for Emilia, so we did you a little favor. The four of us split up all the elementary schools in Chicago and started calling them, asking about third grade teachers. Did you know there’s over five hundred elementary schools?”

Hopper’s heart started pounding. “Really? You did that?”

“Well, Callahan was barely any help, but yeah. We did. Got sick of seeing ya mope around all day.”

“Funny.”

“It’s true,” Powell said.

“But you found her?” Hopper asked.

“Sort of. I found an Emilia Hanson who teaches third grade, but they wouldn’t give me any other information. No number. No address.”

“Okay.”

“Flo’s on it. Don’t worry.”

Hopper barked in laughter. “Oh, that’s plenty of reason for me to worry! Remember what she got me into last time?”

“She just wants you to be happy.”

“Yeah, because if I’m happy, it’ll make her life easier.”

“It’ll make all our lives easier,” Powell said.

Later that day, Flo stopped into Hopper’s office. “Well, all my snooping’s finally paid off,” she said.

“Finally? Your snooping always pays off.”

“Yes, it does,” she said, plucking the cigarette from Hopper’s mouth and putting it out in the ashtray. “I called the school back and sweet talked ‘em. I pretended to be Emilia’s doctor and said the personal number we had on file didn’t work, and could they please give me the number and address they have on file.”

“And they bought that?”

Flo nodded, clearly pleased with herself. She handed Hopper a piece of paper. “Good luck.”

“Thank you, Flo. You have no idea how much this means.”

“I’ve been with Paul for fifty-three years. He sure drives me up a wall sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade those fifty-three years for anything.” She patted Hopper on the shoulder and turned to leave, closing the door behind her. 

Hopper slumped down in his chair, staring at the piece of paper. How would she react? Would she hang up on him? Yell at him? Cry? Not even care? He leaned back in his chair. Maybe he’d call the next day. _No, I’ve gotta do it today, or I won’t do it at all. Fuck._ He snatched the phone up, listening to the dial tone for so long that it started beeping. He tapped the switchhook to start the call over, and, taking a deep breath, he dialed the number, then waited.

“ _The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected.”_

“Fuck!” Hopper slammed the receiver down, running his hands through his hair. _What now?_ He glanced at the piece of paper again, eyes resting on the address.

Hopper walked out of his office, whistling. His co-workers watched him, waiting for him to say something. He didn’t. Finally, Callahan spoke up. “You get ahold of your lady friend yet?”

“Nope.”

“Then why’re you acting so chipper?” Powell asked.

“Her number was disconnected, so I bought a plane ticket to Chicago. Leave in a week.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Powell asked.

“I don’t really have any other choice, do I?”

Powell shook his head, smirking. “No, I guess not. Hope she takes it well and doesn’t chase you off her lawn with a gun."

Hopper stopped whistling. “She wouldn’t do that. I don’t think. Right?”

Powell held his hands up. “You know her better than I do!”

“Hey, Flo!” Callahan called out. “Do you think Hop’s gonna get himself killed?”

“I don’t know what you boys are yammering on about,” she said, walking around the corner, “but you need to do some actual work today, not just sit around gossiping like girls. And knowing Hopper, yeah.”

“Thanks a lot, Flo,” Hopper said, fake pouting. “I appreciate the confidence you have in me.” He headed back to his office, sitting down, when it finally sunk in what he’d done. He rested his head directly on his desk, breathing in and out deeply. It was going to be a long week.

 

**Day 117**

Hopper’s plane touched down in Chicago on November 26 in the late afternoon. After retrieving his bag, he examined the piece of paper. Of course, he knew there was a reasonable chance Emilia didn’t live at that address. He could go to her school…Then again, he’d look like a creep. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if this didn’t pan out, but he knew he’d spend the next few days trying to track her down before he had to head back to Hawkins.

After securing a taxi, he had it drop him off a couple blocks from the address. He didn’t want to get out right in front of her house in case she was outside or right by her window. Deep down, he also wanted the option to get cold feet, turn around, and high tail it to a hotel. As he walked, he observed the many Mom and Pop shops lining the streets until he spotted Fat Dan’s Pizzeria and a liquor store another building down. _Perfect_ , Hopper thought.

Thirty minutes later, Hopper stood on the doorstep of a row house, shivering. He held a large pizza in one hand and balanced a paper bag with beer on top of his small rolling suitcase with the other. His heart slammed into the wall of his chest, and he didn’t blame it. He wanted to run away, too. Finally, after mumbling to himself about how he came all this way, he rang the doorbell.

A minute passed by, and Hopper worried no one was home. Just as he turned to walk away, the door opened. A woman about Emilia’s age with reddish hair stood there, a sweater wrapped tightly around her frame. “Can I help you?”

Hopper realized he’d been standing there in silence. “Uh, yeah. Maybe. I’m, uh, looking for Emilia Hanson. Does she live here?”

The woman eyed him. “Who wants to know?”

“Jim. Uh, Jim Hopper.”

Her eyes grew wide. “No fucking way!”

“I take it you know her?”

“Yeah. I’m her roommate, Jess. Emilia’s not home, but she will be soon. You wanna come in?”

Hopper followed her through the door, leaving his suitcase and following Jess into the kitchen with the pizza and beer. Jess whirled around to face him, resting her elbows on the counter. “So. Jim Hopper. Nice of you to finally show up.”

 _Yep. Here it comes_ , he thought. “I know. I really messed up.”

“Damn straight you did. Emilia is an amazing woman, and you should be thanking the lord you got to spend that time with her, let alone touch her body. I don’t react well to men taking advantage of her. She’s had enough of that with her asshole ex-boyfriend, and she doesn’t need that shit from you. So if you’re gonna be that guy—”

“No, no, I’m not. She’s free to do as she pleases. I just want to talk to her. To apologize. I was a huge, _huge_ asshole, and I’m owning that.” He paused. “Ex-boyfriend?”

Jess smirked. “Yeah. Almost three months, thank god.”

“I take it you’re not too fond of him?”

“Hell, no.” She glanced down at Hopper’s pizza and beer. “You want me to take that? I can take your coat, too, if you want.”

Hopper thanked her and sat down at the kitchen table. Jess followed shortly thereafter. “So what’s the pizza for?” she asked.

“Mia and I had this bet about me catching a fish with a spear, and whoever lost had to buy the other pizza and beer. I lost, and I never did keep my end of the bargain, so…”

Jess nodded. “So how’d you find her? I know she didn’t give you her info. And why not just call?”

Hopper went into the story of how he ended up Chicago on their doorstep, making Jess laugh. “Well, that is some story, I guess. I’ll give you some points for that. And some for the fact that you’re just as handsome as Emilia says you are. Maybe even more so.”

Hopper grinned. “Really?”

“You’re still in the negative. By a thousand.”

Hopper’s smile dropped off his face.

All of a sudden, they heard the front door open, then shut. “Jess, you home?” Emilia called.

“In here!”

Hopper’s underarms began sweating and his heart did its stupid escape attempt again. He couldn’t remember the last time a girl had this effect on him. _Probably high school_ , he thought.

Emilia rounded the corner and stopped, mouth dropped open. “Hopper,” she choked.

He took every single, beautiful part of her in, until his eyes rested on her belly. He raised his brows in surprise, then looked up at her. “You’re pregnant.”


	12. Day 117-Day 123

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! 
> 
> This chapter is LONG, but it's because I decided to put all of Hopper's visit into one chapter. This one's a bit more on the explicit side, and there's talk of abuse and abortion, so...just a heads up if any of those things bother you.

**Day 117**

Emilia stared at Hopper in shock. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I came to see you,” Hopper said.

Emilia blinked. “You—came to see me? You can’t just come see me whenever it suits you! I can’t deal with the hot and cold! I’d rather you just stay gone!” She turned her body away from him, crossing her arms.

“I know, I know,” Hopper said. “And that’s the reason I came here. To apologize. I know it probably doesn’t mean a whole lot, but I am so, so sorry for what I did. I was a shithead. The biggest of shitheads. If you want me to leave, I will, but all I want is a chance to talk.”

Emilia glanced at him over her shoulder. “Fine. Let’s talk.”

“You gonna be okay?” Jess asked Emilia. 

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. Hopper’s a complete and utter asshole, but he’s harmless.”

Jess nodded. “Okay. I’m going to Megan’s. I’ll be back late. If you need anything, call her place.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Once Jess walked out the door, Emilia turned back to Hopper. “So? I’m waiting.”

“Can we sit somewhere?”

“The couch.”

“I guess this would be a bad time to tell you I brought pizza?”

Emilia scoffed. “Yeah, I’d say so. I’m not very hungry all of a sudden.”

Hopper frowned, walking to the living room and sitting down, Emilia as far away from him as she could get. “Again, I’m so, so—”

“Why’d you do it?” Emilia interrupted him. “I get that you’ve been with a lot of women, no strings attached. But what you did to me…I don’t deserve that. And it’s taken me this whole time to truly believe that I don’t deserve it. I thought there was something wrong with me, Hop. But then I realized there’s nothing wrong with me. There’s something wrong with you.”

Hopper swallowed, nodding. “I know. I don’t have an excuse. It’s just—ever since Sara and Diane, I’ve had a really hard time letting people in. I haven’t had a real relationship since she left. When we found our way out of that woods, I—I felt things for you, I can’t describe it, and honestly, it scared the absolute fuck outta me. So I did what I know best. I ran away. I could barely look at you, because I knew if I stayed, I’d never be able to leave, and if I never left, there would always be the possibility of losing you. And I couldn’t face that.”

“But by leaving, you _did_ lose me. Don’t you see the irony in that?”

Hopper laughed bitterly. “Yeah, I do now.” They both sat in silence for a few minutes until Hopper cleared his throat. “So, uh, there’s an elephant in the room…” His eyes grew wide. “Wait, shit, I didn’t mean it that way—”

“I’m not an idiot. I know what you mean.”

“I don’t know. Sometimes those hormones can make women pretty testy.”

“Please shut up.”

“Okay,” he said, pressing his lips together.

Emilia cursed herself for wearing a non-maternity sweater. In looser clothing, no one could even tell. Perhaps it would have been easier if that wasn’t the first thing Hopper noticed about her. Then again, nothing about any of it was easy.

“Uh, so how’s Jake feeling about this whole…thing?” Hopper gestured to her belly. “Jess said you broke up. Or, uh…is it…um…” He scratched the back of his head. 

“Yeah, Hop. It’s yours.”

His eyes grew distant as he ran his hand down his beard, nodding slightly. “I thought it might be.”

“And if you think you’re gonna talk me into getting rid of it—”

“Wait, hold up, hold up.” Hopper put his hand out to stop her. “That didn’t even cross my mind. I’m just—why didn’t you tell me?” He looked her in the eyes. “And were you ever going to tell me?”

Emilia had to force herself to take calming breaths. She wanted to have a civilized conversation, but she’d planned to let him know near the end of the pregnancy, when she was ready, not then. “Yes, I planned on telling you. Just not for awhile.”

Hopper’s voice rose. “And don’t you think I deserve to know?”

Emilia closed her eyes, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. She opened them again and looked at Hopper. “Yes. And I didn’t keep it from you to hurt you or for revenge or anything like that. I need you to trust me that it was for a good reason.”

She watched Hopper turn this over in his head. Finally, he nodded. “Okay.” She saw the strain in his face, how much effort he had to put into that simple answer. It became clear to her how much importance he placed on earning her trust back. “How far along are you?” he asked. “Wait, that’s a dumb question. I should be able to figure this out.”

“Eighteen weeks. Almost half way.”

Hopper’s mouth upturned just a little. “You look really good.” He stood and began pacing the room, running his hand down his face. “Wow, a kid. I’ll tell ya, this is the last thing I expected when I decided to come.”

“It was a shock to me, too. Although it shouldn’t have been. We didn’t exactly use protection.”

“I assumed you were on the pill.”

“You know what they say about people who assume…” A gleam lit Emilia’s eye. “Anyway, I _was_ , but they weren’t in my backpack. Did you ever see me take a pill?”

“No, and honestly, at that point, I wouldn’t have cared.”

“Same, really,” Emilia said. She smiled a little. “So, what’s that pizza up to? I’m starting to feel hungry, after all. Let’s heat it up and we can talk more about this…” She motioned to her belly. “…situation.”

After dishing up pizza and drinks, the pair fell into a natural conversation about what had been happening in the last four months. Their talk became increasingly animated, and they even laughed a couple times. It made Emilia feel at home. She’d missed it so much. Finally, Hopper looked at his watch. “Wow, it’s ten o’clock, already. You have work tomorrow, don’t you?”

“Actually, I don’t. We get all of Thanksgiving week off.”

“Uh, well, can I use your phone to call a cab? Any hotel recommendations?”

“Come on, Hop. You can stay on the couch.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. It would be silly for you to go all the way to a hotel only to come back in the morning. We never even talked about the logistics of what happens after I have this baby.”

Hopper pursed his lips, nodding slightly. “Right. The logistics.”

“We can save that for tomorrow. If you’re tired, you can certainly go to bed, but I’m not. We can put the tv on. Or we can keep talking. Or both. I know a good dessert place down the street. Wanna go pick something up and bring it back?”

“That sounds great.”

Twenty minutes later, they’d returned to the couch, tv on, but both ignored it in favor of each other. They sat a little closer this time, eating their slices of chocolate cake. Emilia tilted her head, observing Hopper. “Why did you come?” she asked.

“I told you, I didn’t have your number, and I wanted to apologize in person.”

“Is that all?”

Hopper glanced toward the ground. “Well, no. But I’m not going to do that right now.”

“Do what? Tell me how you feel? Because that’s what got us into this mess in the first place."

Hopper sighed. “You’re right. Truth is, I can’t stop thinking about you. Haven’t been able to. So much so that the people in my life are calling me out on it. I guess I came to see if what we had is over. If it’s too late.”

Emilia watched as his face crumpled. She wanted so badly to reach out and touch him, but she resisted that urge. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, either. No one has ever made me feel the way you make me feel. Never. But you really hurt me. I cried so much over you, and I don’t need you to bring that all back now. After I found out I was pregnant, I broke it off with Jake, for good this time, and I’ve been trying so hard to find contentedness in my own company for awhile. To gain confidence in myself. To truly believe that I deserve more than what men have offered me. Because I didn’t believe I deserved that. I’ve got a ways to go, but I’ve come so far, and I’m not about to have you undo it all. I have a support system of friends and family, and they’ll help me raise this baby if necessary. I don’t need you, Hop. But I want you. Desperately. And I don’t think that’s good for me right now. And I’m sitting here realizing that if I don’t go to bed soon, I could very well do something I’ll regret.”

Hopper listened quietly. “I want to earn your trust back. If I can.”

“I want that, too. How long are you in town for?”

“I’ve gotta be back to work by Monday.”

“So why don’t we take this week and kinda ease into getting to know each other again? My parents’ll be in town on Thanksgiving day, but other than that, I’m open. I also reserve the right to tell you to go home at any point, and if I do, it’s done.”

“That’s more than I could’ve asked for.” Hopper said. “We should probably go to bed, though. I don’t want to fuck things up already.”

Emilia smiled. “Right. I’ll get you some sheets and a pillow.”

Once Emilia settled into bed, she tossed and turned. It killed her that Hopper lay in one room and she in the other. She wanted so badly to go to him, wrap her arms around him, and rekindle what they had. But she also didn’t want to get hurt again, and she certainly didn’t want to lose the progress she’d made. She sat up, then lied back down. Blowing out a puff of air, she sat up again, swinging her feet off the bed. _No no no, Emilia. Bad idea._ But maybe she’d just peek into the other room and check if Hopper was asleep? _I’ve gotta make sure he’s comfortable,_ she thought. _He’s a guest in my house. What if he needs something but is afraid to knock and ask?_ She got up, creeping to her door and opening it a crack. The tv screen flashed light through the dark room. She tip toed out into the living room and saw Hopper flipping channels. “Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, and Hopper startled.

“Uh, no. What’re you doing up? You should be in bed.”

She motioned for Hopper to sit up and scooted in close to him. “I can’t fall asleep. I’ve missed you so much, and I want you so badly, it hurts.” She looked at him, eyes pleading, putting a hand on his arm. “I want to feel you on me. In my bed.” She slid her hand up, running it through his hair. “Will you come sleep with me?”

A low groan erupted from Hopper’s throat, and Emilia pulled his blanket away, revealing evidence of his arousal. She reached out to touch it but he grabbed her hand, holding it back. “No. We can’t.”

“What do you mean we can’t? The ball’s in my court, and this is what I want.”

“It’s not what you said earlier.”

“I know, but—”

Hopper closed his eyes, breathing in and out several times before opening them again. “Listen, I want you so fucking bad right now, but I can’t. Not after what you said. I’m trying my hardest here, and I want to prove myself. Please go back to bed, otherwise I’ll be forced to get a hotel. Nothing against you, of course.”

Emilia stared at him, blinking. “Oh. Okay. Um, sorry. Goodnight.” She stood up, heading to her room.

“Don’t apologize. And goodnight.”

 

 **Day 118**

The next morning, Emilia woke to the smell of eggs and bacon. She wrapped a blanket around herself, stepping out of her room to find Hopper busy at work in the kitchen. “What are you doing?” she asked.

Hopper turned and looked at her sheepishly. “Good morning. Jess told me I could use the kitchen. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No, I guess not.” She sat down at the kitchen table. “What’re you making?”

“Scrambled eggs, bacon, and blueberry pancakes.”

“Sounds great.” She fidgeted, scratching at an imperfection in the table. “Thanks. For what you did last night. I’m a bit embarrassed.”

“Don’t be,” Hopper said, placing a plate in front of her. He made one up for himself and sat down across from her. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine.” Emilia took a bite of pancake. “Mm, these are really good. Thanks, Hop.”

He beamed. “No problem. And don’t worry about the dishes. I’ll do them.”

After breakfast, Emilia placed her dish in the sink and turned to Hopper. “Um, so I like to go running most mornings. You’re welcome to join me, or you can hang here. Should be interesting with a belly full of food.” She smiled.

Hopper glanced at her belly. “You’re okay to do that?”

“Yeah, doctor said it was fine. Old advice was not to exercise.”

“Well it all sounds very tempting, but I think I’ll stay here.”

“Okay. I’m gonna go get changed and head out, and I’ll see you when I get back.”

Forty-five minutes later, Emilia returned to an empty apartment and a note on the table. _Went out exploring. Be back in a bit._ She took a shower, paying extra attention to her makeup and hair when she got out. By the time she finished, Hopper had returned and sprawled himself out on the couch, reading a book. “Hey,” she said, sitting next to him. “Where’d you decide to go?”

“I found a bookstore down the street.”

“The Attic, uh-huh. I’ve been there lots of times.”

“I got two books. Both for you. I wasn’t sure if you replaced _It_ , so I got that, and if you already have it, I can keep it. And since you’re a fan of horror, I got some Lovecraft.”

“Wow, that’s really sweet, Hop. I actually didn’t replace _It._ Been meaning to. Is that what you’re reading?”

“Yeah, thought I’d start it while I waited for you. It’s fucking terrifying. And fantastic.”

“Isn’t it?” She took his hand timidly, entwining her fingers with his. Hopper gazed down at their hands, then back up at her. “Is this okay?” Emilia asked.

“Yeah. I just, uh, you know, I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing things. I’m trying really hard not to.”

“I know. I can tell,” Emilia said. “I appreciate that. You wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure. Whatcha got?” They scanned through the VHS tapes until they agreed upon one, and Hopper sat back on the couch while Emilia put it in. “You’re beautiful,” he said, watching her.

Emilia blushed, turning back toward him. “Stop.”

“No, really. I mean that.”

“Well, thank you.”

Hopper and Emilia spent the rest of the day in, watching tv, reading, and just talking. Jess arrived home around dinnertime, and the three spent the evening playing board games. The whole thing felt so natural and normal, but Emilia couldn’t help but wonder if Hopper would revert back to his old self eventually. As happy as she wanted to be, the thought nagged at her.

As Emilia lay in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, she felt a little flutter in her belly. Gasping, she placed her hands on top of her pelvis, holding still, and then it happened again. She could’ve missed it if she weren’t relaxing in bed. It felt like eye twitch, only south of her belly button and the only kind of twitch that could make a person’s insides burst with anticipation and unconditional love for someone they’d never met. Emilia’s lips upturned as she let out a squeak, and suddenly, she had to tell Hopper. She hurried out of bed, through her door and over to the couch where Hopper slept. He lifted his head up with a grunt as she plopped onto the couch, sitting directly against his sprawled out body. “Again?” he asked. “Mia, I—”

“I felt the baby move!”

“What?” Hopper propped himself up on an elbow. “For real?”

“Yeah! I mean, you won’t be able to feel it, obviously, but I was lying in bed and felt, like, this little flutter thing.”

“Wow, that’s—that’s really incredible.”

Emilia saw the pain in his eyes and could’ve kicked herself for doing this to him. “Oh, Hop. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.”

“No, no. Don’t do that.” He sat all the way up, wrapping an arm around her. “I’m just processing. A lot. Don’t let it ruin your moment.”

She rested her head against his shoulder for a bit before shifting and standing up, wishing Hopper a goodnight.

 

**Day 119**

The next morning, as Hopper took a shower, Emilia and Jess stood in the kitchen, drinking coffee.

“I’ve been dying to talk to you,” Jess said. “How’s it going? Has anything happened? I take it he hasn’t done something horrible.”

“No, nothing horrible,” Emilia said. “It’s been nice, actually. He’s been so great…”

“But?”

“I can’t help but worry when the aloof Hopper’s going to return. Am I setting myself up for heartbreak all over again?”

Jess took a sip of her coffee. “I really hope not, but, for what it’s worth, I already like him a whole lot better than Jake. He’s funny, sexy, and the way he looks at you…I’ll tell ya, I’m a little bit jealous. I’d like someone to look at me like that. _However…_ he still hurt you. Big time. I’ve got him on probation."

“Oh yeah,” Emilia said. “Definitely still on probation. I just wonder how long before I let him off.”

“I think you’ll know—Oop, here he comes. Don’t let him know we were talking about him.” Jess leaned back against the counter casually. “Hey, Hopper. We weren’t just talking about you.”

“ _Jess_!” Emilia hissed, but Hopper just laughed.

“I figured that might be happening. Hopefully good stuff.”

“Eh,” Jess said, shrugging, wiping the smirk off Hopper’s face. “Well, I gotta run to the gym. Have fun, you two.” Jess winked as she headed out the door.

Emilia’s face flushed. “I don't know why she’s gotta do stuff like that.”

“Because it’s funny, and it gets you all riled up.”

“Whatever.” Emilia pouted.

“Well, it does.” He grinned, grabbing her hips before realizing his blunder, letting her go. “Shit. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

They decided to spend their day at a museum, and when Emilia asked which Hopper would prefer, he told her the planetarium. “Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah. Haven’t been to one in awhile. Not like Hawkins has one.”

“Okay,” Emilia said. “Let’s go.”

The pair sat down in the dome-shaped room at the Adler Planetarium. Hopper clenched and unclenched his fists, so Emilia wrapped her hand over one before slipping her fingers through his. He squeezed it back, looking up at her with a small smile. Soon, the program started, and the room went dark, all but the projections on the dome. Emilia snuck glances at Hopper, watching the stillness in his gaze, then as he teared up, a few escaping down his cheeks. She rested her head against him, and he startled, quickly wiping his tears away.

“Don’t do that,” she whispered. “I understand.” But he excused himself, leaving the room, and when he came back, he carried a small bag. “What’s that?” Emilia asked.

“Just some headache medicine. I found it at the gift shop.”

They spent the rest of the late afternoon and evening sitting idly around the apartment with Jess. Once Emilia got a moment alone with Hopper, she put her hand on his arm. “Are you okay? You’ve been kinda quiet all day.”

“Yeah. The planetarium kinda did me in. I didn’t think it would be that hard. I thought—I just wanted to do something that would make her happy, you know?” He took a breath. “And then, I’m just a little overwhelmed—”

Jess walked back around the corner. They didn’t get to finish their conversation that night, and Emilia lied awake in bed wondering what overwhelmed Hopper, although she could take a pretty good guess. She knew they needed to find time to talk about it, but she’d invited her parents over for Thanksgiving the next day, so she knew their alone time would be limited. She fell asleep, comforted by the _twitch twitch twitch_ in her womb.

 

**Day 120**

As soon as Jess walked out the door the next day to visit her family for Thanksgiving, Emilia received a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sweetie. It’s Dad.”

“Oh, hey, Dad! What time do you think you’ll be here?”

“Actually, that’s what I’m calling about. Mom is sick. Food poisoning or something. We’re not gonna be able to make it.”

Emilia’s face crumpled. “Oh, no! That’s horrible. I hope she feels better soon.”

“You’re not just going to be sitting at home alone, are you?”

“No,” Emilia said. “I told you about Jim Hopper. So I’m not alone.”

“I just know how much you love Thanksgiving.”

“I know, but it’ll be fine. Hopefully, you can come visit soon. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Bye, sweetie.”

Emilia hung up the phone. Hopper turned his head from the couch to look at her. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. My parents aren’t coming, after all. My mom’s sick. So it’s just you and me.”

“And you’re disappointed.”

“I mean, yeah, but it’ll be fine. We’ll just find something to heat up and watch a movie or something. Hey, I’m feeling a bit tired. Mind if I go lie down?”

“Go for it,” Hopper said.

Emilia fell asleep for what must’ve been a couple hours, and when she woke, the smell of pumpkin wafted through the apartment. She opened the door to find Hopper in the kitchen, leaning over the open stove door, checking a turkey. A pumpkin pie sat on the counter, cooling, an assortment of boxes, cans, and spices surrounding it. She brought her hand to her mouth, smirking, and watched him for a couple minutes before walking into the kitchen and wrapping her arms around his waist from behind.

He whirled around. “Oh, hey. I, uh, I was hoping you’d sleep a bit longer. Wanted to have it all ready by the time you woke up.”

“I can’t believe you did this. It’s—why? We’re going to have so many leftovers, oh my god.”

“You looked so disappointed when you got off the phone, and I figured we already have the food, so might as well make it.”

“Well,” she said, picking up a can of green beans. “I’m going to help you. We’re gonna make a shit ton of food, stuff ourselves, and lay like beached whales on the couch for the rest of the night.”

Hopper barked in laughter. “Sounds perfect.”

They got to work making the side dishes, and Emilia popped a cassette in the tape player.

_You move it to the left_

_Yeah, and you go for yourself_

_You move it to the right_

_Yeah, if it takes all night_

Emilia moved her hips to the rhythm of the music, beckoning Hopper with her index finger. He shook his head, smirking, so she made her way over to him, placing her hands on his hips, urging him to dance.

“No!” he said, laughing.

“Aw, come on.” She took a bit of flour and swiped it onto his nose.

“Oh, really? Huh, that’s interesting.” He placed two fingers in the flour and painted lines under her eyes, mimicking eye black.

“Hm, okay.” This time, Emilia put both hands in the flour and patted handprints onto the front of his black shirt.

In an instant, the kitchen transformed into a flour frenzy as they attempted to deposit the ingredient down shirts and into each other’s hair. Finally, they called a truce, smirking at each other’s flour-streaked faces as they inched closer and closer until— _buzzzzzzzz_! The kitchen timer went off and they drew back. “It’s the turkey,” Hopper said.

“Uh-huh. Better get that.” But then she pulled Hopper down by his shirt and placed a soft kiss on his lips, rendering him speechless. “That’s what we were going to do, right?” she said. “We’ll leave it at that for now, but just know that I feel like this is going well.”

A smile tugged at Hopper’s lips. “Good. Me, too.”

After they had eaten and cleaned up, Emilia sat on the couch with Hopper on his side, head in her lap. She stroked his hair absentmindedly as they watched tv. “Baby’s fluttering around again,” she said.

“Yeah?” He flipped his body around to look up at her. “There’s still some flour up your nose.”

Emilia wiped it away with her sleeve. “So what had you started to say yesterday? About being overwhelmed?”

“Right. That.”

“Whatever you need to say, just be honest. If you’re not ready to talk about it, that’s fine. I’ve had some time to process, but you haven’t.”

He slid his fingers through hers, pressing his lips together and exploring her eyes. “I’m trying really hard to be happy, and I am. It’s just a lot. So I guess…I’m glad to be back with you again. The baby…I’m still working on getting there.” He grimaced. “Is that bad?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Emilia said.

“And I’m not saying I want to get rid of it or not be involved or anything like that—”

“I know.”

“I’m just fucking terrified. About losing you. Losing the baby. And what if I don’t love this one as much as Sara? Or will I replace Sara with this baby?”

Emilia cupped his face, and he leaned up toward her. She kissed the top of his head, then forehead, then lips, over and over again, before resting her forehead against his. “Oh, Hop. That’s not going to happen. No one will ever replace Sara, and knowing how much you love her convinces me that you’ll love this one just as much.”

Hopper’s shaky smile brought tears to her eyes. She felt his pain and wanted to erase it all, but she knew he would have to work through it himself, just as she had. Emilia took a deep breath. “So…I’m going to tell you something I wasn’t planning on telling you. At least, not yet.”

“Okay…” Hopper said. “It’s not twins, is it?”

“No, nothing like that,” Emilia said. “It’s something about my past.”

Hopper sat all the way up, watching her. “Okay.”

“Um, well, so you know how Jake and I were together for five years?”

“Yeah.”

“After about three and a half years of dating, I got—um, I got pregnant.”

Hopper’s eyes widened. “You’ve been pregnant before?”

She nodded. “Almost two years ago. Not for long. About seven weeks.”

“What happened?”

“Uh, well…” Emilia brought her hand to her mouth, chewing on her knuckle and trying not to cry. “I—I had—I got rid of it.”

“You had an abortion?”

She nodded, pressing her face into Hopper’s chest as the tears spilled over.

“Mia, I’m not judging you for that.”

She looked up at him. “I didn’t want to do it. In retrospect, I’m glad Jake and I aren’t tied together in that way, but…” Fresh tears began to fall. “At the time, I really, truly didn’t want the abortion.” She shook her head. “I was even _excited_. Can you believe that? But when I told Jake about it, he became furious. Told me I would ruin his career trajectory. Told me I’d look like a whore, because we weren’t married. He said I couldn’t tell anyone. Drove me the next day to get it done. And I did.” Emilia’s gaze met her lap. “And then, when you told me about Sara, I knew I couldn’t tell you, because how could you stand to look at me after what I did when you would give anything to have your daughter back?”

Hopper lifted her chin, studying her face, eyes nearly obstructed by his creased brow as he chewed his bottom lip. “Mia. Those two events have _nothing_ to do with each other. Understand that. Second, I swear to god I’m going to punch the fucking shit out of Jake. It’s good for him that I don’t know where he lives.”

“Hop, I don’t—”

“No, Mia. He fucking manipulated you. The more you tell me about him, the more I’m convinced he was genuinely abusive. Does Jess know that this happened?”

She looked at the ground. “No. I felt so ashamed. You’re the first person to know. This is why I didn’t want to tell you about the pregnancy at first. I wanted to be able to decide for myself, not feel pressured into making a choice that wasn’t my own.”

Hopper hummed. “You thought I might try the same thing.”

“Yes. And especially because of what happened between us. You were so quick to leave, I thought if I brought this to you, especially early on, that you’d be furious, too. So I broke it off with Jake. Told him why, and he reacted as expected, I suppose. Said I was an embarrassment. Called me a whore. All sorts of stuff, and I fucking should’ve done it so long ago. And even though Jess didn’t know the extent of it all, she really helped talk me through why I needed to be on my own for awhile. To figure out what I want, and not just with this pregnancy. Just, in general, you know? And I have. I planned on longer. Then you showed up.” She gave Hopper a halfhearted smile.

Hopper cupped Emilia’s face. “I’m so sorry this happened. You don’t deserve it. Not from Jake. Not from me. Not from anyone.”

“I know that now.”

“I wish I could protect you from this, but it’s too late for that.”

“I think finding comfort in each other is the best thing we can hope for right now.”

Hopper leaned in and kissed her deeply, but with restraint. “It’s late. We should get some sleep.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Thanks. For everything.”

The mutual vulnerability eased Emilia’s apprehension. Although she knew Hopper preferred to keep a hedge of protection around himself, he’d let down his walls each and every time she’d asked that of him. He’d been nothing but true to his word since arriving. Emilia relaxed, deciding that, the next evening, she’d invite Hopper off the couch and into her bed.

 

**Day 121**

When Emilia walked out of her room the next morning, she found a slice of chocolate cake sitting on the kitchen table. _Shit. How did he find out?_ she wondered. “Hopper?” she called. “Where are you, and why is there a piece of cake on the table?”

Hopper opened the bathroom door, towel wrapped around his waist. “Oh, hey. Happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday, indeed,” Emilia mumbled, then clapped her hand over her mouth.

“Will you toss me my shirt? Forgot to bring it in with me.”

“Uh-huh.” She handed it to Hopper, reflecting on oh so many birthday puns she could think of with him standing there in a towel. He closed the bathroom door behind him and came out a minute later, dressed, much to Emilia’s disappointment. “How’d you know it was my birthday?” she asked.

“Uh, Jess told me,” he said, looking away. “She said that you probably hadn’t told me, which you hadn’t, and that if I didn’t do anything, I’d never be let off probation.”

“Of course she did.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Emilia shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, and I didn’t want you to feel pressured to do something for me.”

“I don’t feel pressured. I hope you don’t mind, I got that same cake we had the other night. From the place down the street. My family always had a birthday tradition of cake for breakfast, so I got a slice for you.”

“Thanks, Hop. That’s sweet. Even though we already have so much food here!”

“You can just freeze it. This is a special occasion.”

“Fine, fine.” Emilia smirked. “Why do I feel like cake isn’t the only thing you have planned for today?”

“Because it’s not. I found this spa, and it specializes in pregnancy. I have a cab that’s going to pick you up in an hour and take you there. You can use my credit card. Just don’t go too overboard.” He winked.

“Oh, Hop, I couldn’t! I’ve never even been to a spa!”

“Well, I’ve kind of invaded your space for the last several days, so I thought having some time to relax without me might be nice.”

Emilia stood up from the table and wrapped her arms around Hoppers neck, grinning. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

His face fell. “Is all this overkill?”

“Hey, I love it! I really do. It would be a bit much if it was an all the time thing. But as a ‘ _fuck, I’ve super screwed up and need to make it up’_ kinda thing? Then yeah, it’s nice. I’ve never been this fussed over before.”

“And I’ve never fussed over anyone like this before. Anyway, eat your cake and get ready.”

Four hours later, Emilia walked back into her apartment, finding Hopper reading the paper on the couch.

“How was it?” he asked.

“Great. I got a massage, facial, and pedicure.”

“I don’t know what all that means, but it was relaxing?”

“Yes, it was wonderful. Thank you.”

“So it’s two o’clock,” Hopper said. “At around six, I’m taking you out. Nothing fancy. I’d suggest dressing down. Then I have a little present for you to open when we get back.”

“Aw, Hop, the spa was enough of a present—”

“I know. It’s small, though. You’ll see.”

At six, Hopper and Emilia took a taxi across town to a restaurant called The Boiler, and when Emilia walked in and realized they specialized in crawfish boils, she turned to Hopper, a smile tugging on her lips.

“Kinda like our first date,” he said, amusement written on his face.

“Sure is. This is so…kind of adorable, actually.” She took his hand, resting her head against his arm.

Dinner consisted of plastic bibs, messy sauce, and slippery crayfish.

“Shit, why is this so much harder than it was before?” Emilia laughed.

“I think it’s the sauce. Makes ‘em harder to handle.” Just as he said it, a crayfish slid out of Hopper’s hand and onto the table, sending Emilia into giggles. “I wouldn’t laugh if I were you,” Hopper said.

“Oh yeah? And why not?”

“You should see your face. There’s a ring of red around your mouth.”

“Shut up,” Emilia said, wiping her mouth with her napkin. “I don’t think they're supposed to be this messy.”

“I think that’s what this place specializes in. Making fools out of people.”

“A little late for that.” Emilia smirked, running her leg up his and watching as his whole body stiffened. She bit her lip as she lifted her foot higher and higher until she got to his thigh, stopping just before the end of the road.

“Yeah, well, um—you—fuck.”

She enjoyed watching Hopper flounder.

They finished eating and decided to window shop for a bit before heading back to Emilia’s place. As they walked down the street holding hands, slipping in and out of stores, Emilia glanced across the street, a jolt of electricity running up her spine. Hopper noticed. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. I think I want to go home.”

Hopper followed her gaze across the street, watching as pedestrians milled about. “You see someone you know?”

Emilia nodded slightly.

“Who?”

“It’s not important. Come on. Let’s go.”

“Mia, it’s obviously bothering you a lot, and I’m not going to let whoever it is ruin our date.”

“It’s Jake. I haven’t seen him since—”

“I thought so. Which one?”

“Hop, you’re not going to do anything, are you?”

“Of course not. Which one is he?”

Emilia pointed discreetly. “The one with the dark hair. Thin. Wearing the slacks and tan trench coat.”

Hopper’s lips disappeared as his jaw tightened, his eyes nearly obstructed by his brow. He strengthened his grip on her hand until she had to signal for him to let her go. She knew then that she shouldn’t have told him.

“Stay here.”

“No! What the fuck are you going to do?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I have every right to worry about it!” She followed as Hopper made his way across the street, trying to pull his arm back, but to no avail. Once they’d crossed and Hopper stopped, looming over Jake, Emilia hid behind his body as Jake turned to look at them.

“Who the fuck are you? Emilia?”

“Hi, Jake.”

“Wait, is this the asshole who knocked you up?” Jake asked. He sneered. “And what do you do? Some kind of small town blue collar job? You gonna come work for my company, fill our parking lot’s potholes, perhaps? Or maybe do our landscaping? Unclog a pipe filled with shit?”

“Shut your mouth, Jake,” Emilia said.

“Oh, that’s funny! Because you certainly couldn’t shut your—”

Hopper’s fist met Jake’s face as he fell to the ground with a thud. Passersby gasped, stopping to watch or hurrying along.

“Hopper! What the fuck are you doing?” Emilia yelled.

“I told you the other day exactly what I’d do if I saw this fucker.”

“I didn’t think you were serious!”

Jake held the side of his face, groaning. He got up from hands and knees, puffing his chest out as Hopper threw another right hook to his face. “This guy abuses women!” Hopper shouted to the crowd while Emilia buried her face in her hands.

Jake may not have been strong, but he was sneaky, and he grabbed Hopper’s legs, knocking him to the ground and getting a couple punches in. Hopper quickly regained control of the situation, smashing his fist into Jake’s jaw before standing up, spitting blood. “Don’t you dare fuck with anyone else. If I hear about it, I’ll come find you, and when that happens, you won’t be able to walk away. Oh, and I’m a cop, so don’t think you can fight me on this. You’ll lose.”

Jake whimpered in response.

“Hop! Let’s go!” Emilia hissed. He turned and walked down the street, away from the scene as Emilia followed. When they got enough distance away, Emilia shoved him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I—I couldn’t let him walk away having done what he did to you.”

“I appreciate that, Hop, but _Jesus Christ_.” She hailed a taxi. “Let’s go home.”

They stayed silent for most of the ride, and when they walked through the door, Emilia turned to Hopper, pushing his hair aside and checking his temple, which had started to bruise. His lip had stopped bleeding, but it puffed out with a nasty gash. “How’re your hands?” she asked, taking them in her own.

“Fine, I think. Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. But when I saw him, I just—I couldn’t let him get away with it.” He cringed. “Does this set me back? I didn’t ruin your birthday, did I?”

“No. Just…listen to me next time, okay? Lucky for you, I don’t think he’ll press charges. Knowing him, his pride’ll be too wounded to admit that you hurt him. He’ll probably just hole up for a few days until he heals up.” She eyed him, half-smiling. “I didn’t know you could throw a punch like that.”

“Yeah, well…”

“I’m not gonna lie, part of me finds it sexy.” Her thoughts drifted to other things his body was capable of doing.

Hopper laughed. “Oh, I almost forgot. I have a present for you.” He went to his suitcase, retrieving a plain white bag, handing it to Emilia. She opened it and pulled out a light blue onesie, the front screen printed with a picture of the Pisces constellation. Above, it read _The Drama of the Heavens_ , and below, _Adler Planetarium, Chicago, IL._

It left Emilia speechless. “Is it okay?” Hopper asked, eyes searching hers.

“Y-yes. It’s perfect.” She looked at him, eyes welling up.

“I figure it’s kind of like a little gift from Sara to her brother or sister.” He pressed his lips together, blinking and worrying his brow. “It doesn’t mean I’m all the way there yet, but—”

Emilia placed her arms over Hopper’s shoulders while she stroked the back of his head, marveling him. “That is the most vulnerable you’ve been with me. Maybe that anyone’s ever been. And I know how hard this is for you.”

“I don’t even think you realize. Everything inside me is screaming for me to run away. This is too uncomfortable. Retreat to where it’s safe. Alone.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “But I’m learning that I feel a lot less lonely when I’m with you.”

“Come sleep in my bed tonight,” Emilia said.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“More than ever.”

Hopper growled, pressing his lips to hers, tongue sliding past her parted mouth. “How about right now?”

“An early bedtime sounds perfect.” She took his hand and led him to her room, shutting the door behind them. Hopper quickly pressed her against it, kissing her mouth and down her neck as her breathing increased. She pulled his shirt over his head and ran her nails down his chest before he tugged her shirt off. She unclasped her bra, letting it slide to the ground. Hopper stared at her breasts, full from pregnancy, as they heaved up and down.

He moved his lips back to her neck, traveling downward, until he reached her belly and paused. He skipped over it, moving south, pulling her jeans and panties down her legs. “Whoa, what’s this?”

“Oh, um, did I mention that I got a Brazilian?”

“You did not. God damn.”

Emilia dragged him to the bed, sitting down, while Hopper urged her back, climbing on top of her and kissing her. He brought his mouth to one breast, sucking and twirling his tongue while he squeezed the other, sending Emilia into frenzied moans. They were so sensitive, and it felt so damn good. She vaguely recalled hearing about the few women who could come from breast play alone.

Before she could find out if she belonged to that group, Hopper moved down her body, skipping her belly once more, finding a comfortable spot between her legs. She might've cried out when Hopper swiped his tongue against her. He pulled her by the legs to the edge of the bed as she propped her back up with a couple of pillows, giddy with anticipation. Jake had always refused, and no one had gone down on her before that. It hadn’t really even crossed her mind until that moment, and she couldn’t keep quiet as Hopper pressed his face into her, gliding his tongue along every fold before sucking on her clit.

“Oh, fuck! I can’t! I can’t! I can’t!” Hopper lifted his head to say something, but she pushed it back down. “Oh my god, don’t stop!” He slid a finger inside of her, then two, and she groaned, arching her back. He worked at her for some time, bringing her right to the edge. “I’m so close! Oh, god, Hop! Make me come!” Her whole body jolted as the orgasm rushed through her. She yelled, a couple tears running down her cheeks.

Once she’d quieted, Hopper made his way up her body, kissing her deeply. “Again? That was so fucking hot. I wanna make up for all the times I could’ve made you come in the last four months.”

Two orgasms later, and Emilia clawed at Hopper’s pants, trying to rip them off. “I wanna do the same to you,” she said. But once she got him naked, she had reservations, remembering the gag reflex pregnancy had gifted her with. She dove in, anyway, wrapping her lips around him as he groaned, tilting his head back. She’d have done okay if he hadn’t started thrusting into her face, forcing her to release him and dry heave.

“Jesus, Mia. Are you okay?” Hopper asked.

“Uh, yeah. Pregnancy’s fun.” She shot him a smile.

“Sorry, went a little overboard. Let’s skip that part, then. Get on your hands and knees.” As she did, Hopper eased himself into her from behind, opening her up to accommodate him. She spread her legs a little farther, lifting her ass up a bit more, silently communicating how much she wanted it. He gripped her hips, thrusting into her repeatedly.

Emilia gripped the pillow she had in front of her, moaning. “You’re hard as a rock. Oh, mhm. Deeper, baby!” Skin slapped against skin as Emilia found her clit, rubbing it with her fingers. She let out one more satisfied cry as Hopper moaned her name over and over, his climax right on top of hers.

When he slid out of her, he fell onto his back with a sigh. “Holy hell.”

Emilia curled up next to him, snuggling against his side. “Fuck, I needed that. The orgasms were incredible.”

Hopper turned his head. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You were pretty quiet, though.”

“I liked listening to you. Very vocal.” He smirked.

“Well, no one’s ever gone down on me before, so—”

“Wait, really?” He shook his head. “Gonna have make up for that, too.”

Emilia pecked his lips, then excused herself to the bathroom. When she got back in bed, she pulled the covers over the both of them and slid right back under Hopper’s arm. “This has been the best birthday.”

He kissed the top of her head. “I’m glad. Goodnight.”

“Mm. Goodnight.”

 

**Day 122-Day 123**

Emilia opened her bedroom door the next morning wearing nothing but Hopper’s flannel. She dragged him by the hand, giggling, and at least he’d had the sense to throw on his jeans, because Jess sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the paper. “Good morning, you two,” she said without even looking up.

“Jess! Oh my god! You weren’t supposed to be home yet!” Emilia’s eyes widened. “ _When_ did you get home?”

“Hm, sometime before, ‘You’re hard as a rock. Deeper, baby.’ and ‘Oh, Mia. Oh, god.’”

Emilia turned three shades of red, and Hopper made a one-eighty, heading right back to the room, shutting the door behind him.

“Oops?” Jess said. “Hey, at least you had more fun than I did. My extended family got into a fight about religion, so a bunch of them left early. Myself included. No thanks.”

“Jess, you can’t just say stuff like that! Hopper may never come out of my room.”

“Then I’ve done my job?”

“Jess!”

“Fine. Sorry. What happened to his face?”

“Oh, that? Um, we ran into Jake last night and…Hopper kinda beat the shit out of him.”

Jess squealed. “No kidding?” She slammed her hand down onto the table. “Probation over!”

Emilia rolled her eyes. “Could you maybe leave for the next couple days? I, um—”

“Yeah, I get the picture,” Jess said, standing up and folding the paper. “I suppose I can see if Megan’s home.”

“Just for a couple days.” She wrapped her arms around her best friend, batting her eyes. “I love you. You’re the greatest.”

Jess snorted. “I am, aren’t I? Seriously, though. I don’t mind. I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun while I’m gone.” She winked.

“God, Jess!”

“Don’t, ‘God, Jess’ me. You know it’s true. Anyway, see you later. Tell Hopper I said bye.”

Emilia popped back into her room where Hopper laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She curled up next to him. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine. But I’m not going to show my face out there for the next two days, so you’re gonna have to bring food in here to me. And maybe a bucket. So I can go to the bathroom.”

“Funny, Hop. Jess left. She’s going to stay at our friend’s for the next couple days. So it’s still just you…and me.”

“Hm, well that sounds a lot more fun .” He rolled onto his side, cupping her cheek and kissing her.

They spent most of the next couple days in bed, talking, reading, enjoying each other’s bodies, and just being together.

“I don’t want you to go,” Emilia said as Hopper packed up his stuff Sunday afternoon.

“I don’t, either. But I gotta get back to work, and so do you.”

Emilia pouted. “I know. When will I see you again?”

“Christmas?”

“Yeah, that could work. My brother and his wife are flying in, and we’re all going to my parents, but I won’t be over there the whole two weeks. How about if I plan on driving out to you at some point?”

“Will you be okay to drive?” he asked, glancing at her belly.

“Of course. I’ll just borrow one of my parents’ cars.”

“Okay. I’ll call you and we’ll set the details.”

Emilia wrapped her arms around Hopper’s neck. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

“I’ll try to call every day.”

“It’s not the same.”

“No, it’s not,” Hopper said. “But it’s the best we’ve got for now.” His lips met hers, lingering there for a few seconds before he pulled away. “I gotta go.”

Emilia nodded. “Okay.”

“I’ll see you soon,” he said as he walked out the door.

Emilia pulled a piece of pumpkin pie from the fridge and slumped onto the couch, flipping the tv on. She stared at the screen, forcing back tears.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song:  
> Harlem Shuffle by Bob & Earl


	13. Day 138-Day 153

**Day 138**

“I miss you so much,” Emilia told Hopper over the phone.

“I know. I, uh…I miss you, too.”

“What’s wrong?”

Hopper sighed. “Nothing. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are making fun of me, that’s all.”

“Well, tell them to knock it off. Oh! I forgot to tell you, baby has been moving around a lot more, and you might be able to feel the kicks when I come visit.”

“Nice. Okay, I need to take care of something, so I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Bye,” Emilia said, but Hopper had already hung up the phone.

It’d been two weeks since Hopper left. They’d talked almost every day, but Emilia wasn’t sure what to make of their calls. Sometimes, Hopper came across as affectionate and attentive, and sometimes, they enjoyed phone sex. But occasionally, like that day, he seemed almost disinterested. Distracted. And it was happening with increasing frequency.

She asked Jess about it later that night. Jess just shrugged. “Some men don’t really like talking on the phone.”

“Yeah, but, he’s not always like that. Sometimes, we talk for two hours.”

“Is there a pattern that you notice?”

Emilia thought for a moment. “Actually, yeah. Most times he’s acting funny, he’s at work.”

“Well there you go. Probably feels weird in front of his buddies or something,” Jess said.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” But something still didn’t quite fit, and she couldn’t put her finger on it.

 

**Day 147**

Emilia pulled her dad’s car up to the front of Hopper’s trailer. It was ten o’clock p.m. on the day after Christmas, and she hadn’t seen him in nearly a month. The door opened, and Hopper’s silhouette lingered in the doorway for a second before he moved down the steps and over to her car. She got out and threw her arms around his neck as he kissed her. Her belly stood between them a little bit more than it had the last time they hugged.

“Was the drive okay? You need me to help you carry stuff in?”

“Yes, the drive was fine. And um, if you wanna get my suitcase, it’s in the back. I’ll grab the other bag.”

Emilia followed him into the trailer, and it wasn’t fancy by any means, but it was nice, and she could tell that he made the effort to clean. An afghan was folded and neatly draped over the couch, which made her smile.

“Go ahead, make yourself comfortable. You hungry?” he asked.

“Actually, I’m exhausted. Think I’m gonna turn in. That okay?”

“Of course,” Hopper said. “If you are, then I think I will, too.”

After getting ready in the bathroom, Emilia walked into Hopper’s room where he already laid in bed, under the covers. She stripped down to nothing as Hopper watched her, and she climbed into bed with him.

“It’s so nice to feel you again,” she said as she snuggled up next to him. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Same,” Hopper said. 

“Is something bothering you?” she asked. “Is it…do you still find me attractive?”

“Come on, Emilia.”

“Well, I have to ask, because we haven’t seen each other in a month, and I’m in your bed, completely naked, and no response.”

“Sorry I can’t just get it up whenever you want me to.”

Emilia propped her head up, eyeing Hopper. “Okay…Seriously, I don’t want to fight, so just tell me what’s bothering you. Don’t be a shithead.”

Hopper opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He dropped his head, running his hand through his hair. “Fine. It’s not you at all. I just, uh, how do I put this?”

Emilia raised her eyebrows, waiting for his response.

“I haven’t told anyone you’re pregnant,” he mumbled.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“No one knows you’re pregnant.”

Emilia hopped out of bed and began throwing her clothes on. “I really wish I could have a cigarette right now, because I need one.”

“Stop, Mia.” Hopper reached his hand toward her.

She whirled around to face him. “Look. I just got here. Get the cold shoulder. Kinda felt that way on the phone lately, too. You wanna know the truth? This makes me feel like shit. Like you’re ashamed of me or something.”

“Mia, please—”

“What?”

Hopper got out of bed, walking toward her. “I’m not ashamed of you. I’m—worried. Okay? I didn’t tell anyone when I first got back, and the more time that went on, the weirder it got to mention it, so I didn’t. And I didn’t want anyone to think I’m only with you for the baby, or to pity me, or you, and you know how small towns operate—”  

Emilia wrapped her arms around Hopper’s neck, standing on tippy toes and touching her nose to his. “Hop. Just be honest with me, so it doesn’t get to this.”

“I know. You’re not mad, though?”

“Oh, I’m still quite pissed, and you’re going to remedy this thing tomorrow so I don’t have to walk around and explain _myself_ to everyone. After that, I’ll be fine.”

He nodded, then kissed her. “Sorry. I’ll try to do better.”

“Good. Now, let’s get some sleep.”

 

**Day 148**

Emilia stood under the shower head, letting the water roll over her. Hopper had gotten up for work, waking her in the process, so she decided to get up and start her day, too. With her eyes closed, she heard the curtain push aside behind her, and then a body pressed flush against her back, hands cupping her breasts. She tilted her head. “Hey, Hop.” He kissed her shoulder, moving up her neck. “You trying to start something?”

“Maybe.”

“Do you have time?”

“No, but if I’m a little late, then I’m a little late.”

Hopper’s bed creaked with every thrust as he filled her from behind, his grunts escalating with urgency. Finally, he uttered, “Oh god, fuck,” and collapsed on top of Emilia’s back before rolling off of her. “Damn.”

“Good?” Emilia asked.

Hopper looked at her in disbelief. “Yeah.”

“My turn tonight.”

“Definitely.” He sat up with a groan. “Gotta go to work.”

“And don’t forget—”

“I know. Tell them. I will. They’re gonna be disappointed you aren't coming in today.”

“Yeah, well, whose fault is that?”

“I know, I know.” He kissed her before going to his closet to find his uniform.

Emilia watched as he pulled his pants on and shrugged into his shirt, buttoning it. He slid his rig through his belt loops and placed his hat onto his head. _Well, fuck_ , she thought. She’d never actually seen Hopper in his uniform, and it certainly didn’t disappoint. As he leaned over, digging for his shoes in the closet, she admired the way his ass looked in his pants, her body rearing to go all over again.

Hopper turned around. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“Oh.” Emilia’s lips curled at the corners. “Has anyone ever told you how fucking sexy you look in your uniform?”

“Maybe?”

Emilia stood, strutting over to Hopper and putting her hands on his hips. “I bet all the ladies get hard watching you walk away. I know I do.”

“Mia.” Hopper pulled away from her grasp. “You’re gonna get _me_ hard again, and I’ve gotta go.”

“You. Me. That uniform. Later.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Hopper tipped his hat toward her before walking out of the room.

Emilia chewed her lip, smiling to herself. She got the sense that many women in town lusted after Jim Hopper, but she was the one who got to spend multiple nights (and mornings) in his bed. The woman who caught his affections. The one who carried his baby. She hummed to herself as she got ready to visit the store.

Emilia stepped into Bradley’s Big Buy, pushing a shopping cart. Although Hopper had remembered to clean, he’d forgotten to grocery shop, so she offered to do it for him. She perused the aisles, grabbing staples and a few fun things, like popcorn and a case of beer for Hopper. Just as she reached for a carton of eggs, a woman cleared her throat behind her. Emilia turned around, finding an attractive blonde around Hopper’s age. “Yes?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to bother you. Just getting some eggs, myself.” The woman glanced into Emilia’s cart. “You here visiting family? I’ve never seen you around.”

“No, just my boyfriend,” Emilia answered, wishing she didn’t have to explain herself to this stranger.

“Oh?” She glanced at Emilia’s belly. “And who’s your boyfriend? Maybe I know him.”

Emilia cringed. _And it starts._ “Uh, Jim Hopper.”

The woman nearly choked, eyes growing wide. “Jim Hopper? Like, Police Chief Jim Hopper?”

“Is there another, or…?”

The woman ignored her question. “Looks like you got yourself in a little pickle there, huh? No wonder he ignored my advances. Everything makes so much sense, now.”

“And you are?”

“Oh, how impolite of me. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself sooner. I’m Alice.” She reached out her hand to shake Emilia’s, who did so reluctantly. “Guess I shoulda figured he’d knock someone up eventually.”

Emilia wished people would stop using that phrase. “Uh, yeah, well. I’ve gotta get back to my shopping.”

“Oh, of course. I didn’t mean to keep you. But woman to woman, be careful. I mean, it’s already a little late for that.” She giggled. “Hopper’s known for a lot of things, but commitment isn’t one of them. It’s too bad you’ll have to find out the hard way. So how far along are you, anyway? Because—”

“Look, I don’t know who you think you are, but I’m done answering silly questions for your gossip fodder or whatever the hell you do with your miserable life. Like I said, I’ve gotta shop. Goodbye.”

Alice huffed. “Rude!”

If small-town living involved this type of thing on a regular basis, Emilia much preferred Chicago.

When Hopper walked in the door that evening, Emilia had roasted chicken with a side of mashed potatoes and broccoli ready to dish up. “Aw, you didn’t have to do that, hon,” he told her.

“I know, but I wanted to. How was your day? More importantly, how did your talk go?”

Hopper filled his plate, sitting down at the table. “Not…terrible. As I expected, they were a little concerned. Well, except Callahan. He kept snickering and elbowing Powell, because he’s twelve. But, uh, yeah.” He rubbed his beard.

“What are they concerned about?” Emilia asked.

“Uh, well, Powell mostly wanted to know if I was staying with you for altruistic reasons. When I talked to Benny at lunch, he wanted to know the same thing. Then Flo pretty much barraged me with a whole bunch of shit about how I’d better do you right and yada yada, then started fussing about what I need for the baby. Like cribs and stuff.” He shook his head, smirking. “So I can’t win. If I’m not with you, I’m a horrible, selfish person, but if I am, I’m a pity party for everyone else, because apparently, I have no choice in the matter.”

“Just to be clear, you’re not with me because you feel you have to be?”

Hopper glowered. “Of course not. See, this is what I was worried about. I want to be with you for _you_. Also, they want to meet you. Tomorrow. So whenever you want, you can stop over.” He took a bite of food. “How was your day?”

“It’d be better if you didn’t have to work.” She pouted. “But pretty boring. I did go grocery shopping and ran into someone interesting.”

“Interesting? How?”

“Someone named Alice.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

“Yeah…seems you two know each other. I mean, I don’t care, really. I know you’ve been with people. But she was fucking annoying.”

“What did she say?” Hopper asked.

“Oh, just that you’d avoided her or something. And how untrustworthy you are. Kept staring at my belly like a creep.”

“That’s all?”

“Pretty much. Why?”

Hopper let out a breath. “Okay. I’ve gotta be honest with you. One night, about a month after the train accident, I got really drunk and Alice and I slept together.”

“Oh.”

“It was stupid, and I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s…well, it’s not okay, but I’m not mad, exactly. I mean, I slept with Jake during that time, so…It’s not like we were together.”

“I know, but we shoulda been.”

“The only thing I don’t understand is…why her? Do you actually find women like her attractive?”

Hopper grunted. “No, not really. But when you just wanna get laid, and when you’re really drunk, it doesn't matter a whole lot. I swear it was just the one—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself. I trust you.”

“Even though she told you not to?” Hopper smirked.

“ _Especially_ because she told me not to. Hey, we’re good. Now, finish your dinner, because I have some business for you to attend to.” Emilia winked.

“Mm, I do like the sound of that. And if this is where being honest and sharing my feelings leads, I think I’ll be doing it a lot more often.”

 

**Day 149**

Emilia walked into the police station a little bit nervous. She was about to meet the people who had known Hopper long before she ever did. People who didn’t know until the day before that she was even pregnant. Would they like her? Would they feel angry, thinking she’d trapped her boyfriend somehow? She needn't worry, though, because as soon as she stepped in the door, an older woman who must’ve been Flo welcomed her. “I assume you’re Emilia, otherwise I just hugged a stranger,” Flo said.

Emilia laughed. “Yes, I’m Emilia. And you must be Flo.” She looked around for Hopper.

“Oh, he’s in his office. I’ll go grab him.”

Emilia sat down in one of the chairs, and a minute later, Hopper stepped out of his office. “Hey, hon,” he said, giving her a quick peck.

“You two look so nice together,” Flo said. “It’s good to see you happy, Hop.” She patted his chest as she walked past him, peering around the corner. “Where did Powell and Callahan get to?”

“They went on lunch break,” Hopper said. “Told me to tell you.”

Flo turned to Emilia. “I hope you’re taking good care of him. He’s needed a woman in his life for quite some time. And I don’t mean those hussies who call over here occasionally.”

Emilia laughed. “Oh, I am. But aren’t I a technically a hussy, as well?”

“Nah, dear. I actually like you.”

Hopper winced. “Do we have to do this?”

“Actually, yes,” Emilia said. “Surely you’ve got dirt on Hop. I want to hear all about it.”

“That I definitely do have.”

“Mia. Flo. Come on.”

Emilia waved over her shoulder. “You can go back to whatever it was you were doing. Flo and I are talking.”

Hopper sighed, shaking his head and walking away.

In the following thirty minutes, Emilia discovered that Hopper had once streaked at a football game in high school and had almost gotten himself expelled. Flo also told her a story of when he tried to rescue a cat from a tree, and instead of waiting for the fire department, he climbed up the tree himself…getting stuck. He had to have the fire department rescue him. In addition, Emilia learned that Hopper didn’t always take his job seriously. It took finding a missing kid to turn things around in his life. Emilia didn’t hold that against him. She knew he still fought some of those demons.

When she and Flo were done talking, Emilia knocked on Hopper’s door, hearing a gruff reply. When she opened it, he lifted his head, a smile appearing on his face. “Oh, it’s you.” Emilia sat in the chair across from his desk. “What kinda embarrassing shit did Flo tell you?”

“Oh, nothing too terrible. She did tell me that you saved a little boy last year, though.”

“Oh, yeah. That. It’s what I’m supposed to do. Serve and protect.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t think of it.”

“It seems like a life-altering event,” Emilia said.

“What do you mean?”

“Flo told me that when you started here, you really struggled. Understandably. I get it. But when you found the boy, you changed. Started taking your job seriously after that.”

Hopper sighed. “Yeah, I suppose. I just don’t like to talk about it. It kinda hit a sore spot for me, you know?”

Emilia nodded. “Well, if you ever want to share about it, I’d love to listen.”

Hopper grinned at his girlfriend, ready to say something, when Callahan burst through the door. “Jesus, ever heard of knocking?” Hopper said.

“Oop, sorry, I didn’t know you had someone in here.”

“Callahan, this is Emilia. Emilia, Callahan.”

“Nice to meet you.” Emilia stuck out her hand to shake his just as Powell walked in, and the introductions were repeated.

“Hey, Chief. We got an accident on Maple,” Powell said.

“On it.” Hopper turned to Emilia. “Why don’t you go home? I’ll try to be there around five.”

“Actually, would it be okay if I tagged along with you? I promise I’ll stay in the truck.”

“Uh, sure. I don’t see the harm in it,” Hopper said. They rushed out to his vehicle, and Hopper flipped the sirens on as he sped out of the parking lot.

Emilia second guessed her request when they got to the accident, Hopper the first responder to arrive. He jumped out of the Blazer as Emilia watched him transform into police mode. An older man lay on the ground as a younger man performed CPR, and a woman, possibly his daughter, stood on the side, crying. Hopper knelt down to the unconscious man and took over the resuscitation attempt. Before long, an ambulance pulled up, and the EMTs relieved Hopper of his duty. He talked to the younger man and woman for several minutes before returning to the truck. “Sorry you had to see that,” he said as he got in. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, after all.”

“No, it’s okay. But yeah, maybe you should take me back to the station, and I’ll head on home.” She paused. “What happened?”

“Guy had a heart attack while driving and crashed.”

“Was that his daughter?”

“Yep. Other guy was the driver of the other vehicle.”

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Emilia asked.

“Don’t know. Hope so.”

Emilia reflected on how much death Hopper had seen in his forty years. She knew from their conversations that he’d served in Vietnam and that both his parents had passed. She, on the other hand, hadn’t experienced death until the train accident, unless she counted her childhood pets and acquaintances she barely knew. Even both sets of grandparents were still alive.

When Hopper got back to the trailer that evening, he threw his hat on the table and ran his hands down his face. “Sorry I’m late. God, I need a beer. It’s been a long day. Wanna go to Benny’s?”

“Your friend’s burger place? Sure.”

“I’m gonna grab a few beers from the fridge and bring em. He’s closing soon, and I typically bring drinks, because he usually ends up cooking food. Definitely will for you.”

“You got a minute before we go?” Emilia asked.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

Emilia knelt down and began unbuckling Hopper’s belt.

“Uh, what’re you doing?

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Emilia asked. She unzipped his pants and got him out, already half hard. She took him into her mouth, moaning, as she felt him stiffen.

“Fuck,” Hopper said, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. “What about your gag reflex?”

Emilia popped off. “It’s doing better. Just don’t shove your cock all the way down my throat, and we’ll be good.”

“God, I don’t even know what I did to deserve this, but I’m glad I did it.” Hopper gently gripped Emilia’s head, groaning to all the obscene noises she made with her mouth as she moved her lips up and back down his length. “I’m about to come,” he warned her, but she stayed put as he stuttered, taking his release down her throat before letting go and wiping the spit from her face, standing up.

“Wha—Wh—” Finally, he got his thoughts out. “What was that for?”

“I dunno. I just liked watching you in action today. I know it wasn’t the best of circumstances, and perhaps I’m a little morbid, but watching you do your job well, in a hot uniform to boot, really turned me on. I’ve been wanting to make you come ever since.” Emilia blushed a little.

Hopper wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in. “Mm, maybe I should bring you to work every day. And uh, the guy lived by the way.”

“Oh, well good. I’m glad.”

Twenty minutes later, Emilia and Hopper walked into Benny’s Burgers. A man, large and tall, much like Hopper but bald, stepped out of the back, wiping his hands on his apron. “You must be Emilia,” he said.

“And you must be Benny.” She held out her hand to shake, but he pulled her in for a hug instead.

“The mother of Hop’s baby gets more than a measly handshake,” he said. “You like burgers?”

“Love em.”

“Great. I’ll make us some food. Be right back.”

She and Hopper slid into a booth. When Benny returned, placing a basket in front of Emilia, she dug right in.

“Damn, someone sure likes the burgers,” Hopper said.

“I’m fucking starving. And yes, it is delicious.”

The three made small talk, Emilia and Benny asking about each other’s lives. Eventually, the talk transitioned to questions about the pregnancy. “So what’re you all planning on doing after the baby is born?” he asked.

Emilia turned to look at Hopper. “We don’t know, yet. Haven’t really talked about it.”

Benny nodded. “That’s okay. There’s time.”

Emilia didn’t mention that Hopper avoided talking about the baby at every opportunity, so she wasn’t sure when that discussion would happen.

“Excuse me. Had a few too many of these.” Hopper tilted his beer. “Be right back.”

As Hopper headed to the bathroom, Benny looked at Emilia. “He’s crazy about you, you know.”

“Not so crazy about this baby, though.” She didn’t know why she said it. It just came out.

“Yeah, give him time. I mean, I just found out yesterday, so clearly, he hasn’t talked to me about it. I think he’s just kept it inside. You know about Sara, right?”

Emilia nodded.

“If their relationship is any indication, he’s going to be a great father.”

“Thanks. Sometimes, I just worry.”

“Understandably,” Benny said. “There are no guarantees in life. But Hopper’s a good guy. A bit misguided at times. Doesn’t always make the wisest choices. But he’s good. If he weren’t, he wouldn’t be my closest friend.”

“I appreciate that.”

Hopper came back from the bathroom and slid in next to Emilia. “What did I miss?”

“Oh, nothing, really," Benny said. "Just talking about how I got stuck with your sorry ass as a best friend.”

Emilia liked Benny a lot.

 

**Day 152**

“Hey, the countdown’s about to happen. Ready?”

Hopper and Emilia chanted in unison. “Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Happy New Year!” Hopper dipped Emilia back, kissing her as she squealed.

“Oh my god, Hop. You almost dropped me.”

“Did not.”

The pair decided to spend New Year’s Eve in, particularly because Emilia would be leaving the next day. Hopper didn’t much care about staying up for the countdown, but Emilia convinced him to.

“I’m ready for bed,” Hopper said.

“Me, too.”

Once under the covers, curled up next to each other, Emilia debated whether she should bring her concerns up with Hopper. He glanced down at her, smiling. “What’re you thinking about?”

That was her in. “Baby’s moving around a lot. Wanna see if you can feel it?”

Hopper waffled, trying to come up with an excuse. But all that came out were a bunch of _ums_ and _uhs_.

“You don’t have to,” Emilia said, rolling over, away from Hopper. “Goodnight.”

“No, wait. I will. Come here.” Emilia turned, hesitantly, back toward Hopper. He placed his hand carefully on top of her belly and held it there. “I don’t feel anything.”

“Give it a minute. There, did you feel it?”

“No. Sorry, Mia.”

“What are we going to do after the baby is born?”

“What?”

“What are we going to do?” Emilia asked again.

“Isn’t it a little soon for that conversation?”

“I don’t think so. I just hit twenty-three weeks. Only about four more months to go.”

Hopper visibly tensed at this realization. “Yeah, well, you weren’t going to tell me until right before, anyway.”

“That’s different. We’re together now. We weren’t then.”

“Okay, so you want to have this conversation now? Fine. Obviously, the baby needs to stay with its mother, so it’s going to be with you most of the time. I figure I’ll drive up every weekend, and as much as I can, otherwise. You’ll come see me on all your breaks. See, this is why long distance relationships are hard.”

“Oh.”

“No, c’mon, Mia.” He pulled her in toward him. “I _want_ to be with you. But that doesn’t change the fact that long distance is hard.”

Emilia nodded. “You’re right. It is.”

“You need to get some sleep,” Hopper said. “You’re driving tomorrow.”

Emilia rolled over, but instead of wondering only what would happen with the baby after its birth, she wondered what would happen between _them_.

 

**Day 153**

Emilia packed up the last of her things, turning to Hopper. “You’re coming to visit at the end of the month, right?”

“Yep. January 27. I plan on staying for almost a week.”

“I’m going to miss you so much.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing him, pulling away to watch his eyes.

“I’m gonna miss you, too, Mia. Call me when you get back so I know you’re safe, m’kay?”

“I will.” She wanted desperately to utter the words that had been on the tip of her tongue all week. _I love you, Jim Hopper._ But, of course, she couldn’t do that, because it might spook him further, and he’d already been responding like a deer in headlights at any mention of the baby. The onesie puzzled her the most. She’d thought he was making progress. He bought her that onesie, after all. _Why are men so confusing?_ she asked herself. Confusing, but also so goddam irresistible.

 


	14. Day 178-Day 208

**Day 178**

“What do you mean something came up?” Emilia asked, on the phone with Hopper. “It’s been a month. A whole month! I need to see you!”

“I know, hon. I know. And I said I’m sorry—”

“No, sorry’s not good enough. You promised!”

“And I didn’t plan on Powell and Callahan both coming down with the flu at the same time. There’s nothing I can do about it. I feel like you’re being unreasonable here.”

“If not this week, then when?”

A long silence followed. “I don’t know.”

“See, this is the problem,” Emilia said. “You can’t commit. Maybe they were right.”

“They? Come on now, Mia. Don’t be so dense.”

“Dense? Seriously?”

“Don’t you fucking realize how much this kills me, too? Every day I’m not with you, it’s like—”

“Then pick another day.”

“I can’t,” Hopper said.

“Why not?”

“I have to talk to Flo first. Hon, I’ve gotta go. I’m the only one here, and I’ve gotta free the line for calls.”

Emilia huffed. “Fine. I guess I’ll talk to you later.”

“You guess?”

“Yeah, Hop. I guess.”

“Okay. Well, I lo—really miss you. And I’ll talk to you soon.”

Emilia slammed the phone down. Was she being unreasonable? Perhaps. But at that point, she didn’t totally care. She already felt like a balloon at twenty-seven weeks, and it would only get worse. She wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time, making her feel crazy, and she needed Hopper to be there, stroking her hair as she sobbed into his shirt. For him to even fucking acknowledge the pregnancy. To his credit, he’d gotten better about it, but barely. At least he asked how her doctor appointments were going.

 

**Day 184**

“Okay, so I have bad news,” Hopper told Emilia over the phone a few days later. “It looks like I’m not gonna be able to visit until next month. Any way you could come to me?”

“Hop, I’m teaching,” Emilia said. “My spring break isn’t until the end of March. Why can’t you come?”

“We’re being audited sometime in the next month, and it’s going to look bad if I’m out of town. So if they take care of it sooner rather than later, I could be there in a couple weeks. If they stretch this thing out, it’ll be closer to a month.”

“Hop—” Emilia started crying. She couldn’t help it.

“Hey, hey. Don’t cry. Why don’t you send me some pictures so I can see you? Damn, I miss your gorgeous brown eyes.”

“You mean that?” Emilia asked.

“Yes, I mean it. It’ll give me something to look forward to when I get the mail.”

“Okay, but you gotta send me some, too. I miss your stupid face and your squeezable ass, and I just want you to hold me and fuck me and tell me everything will be all right.”

“Everything will be all right.”

 

**Day 185**

****“This is silly,” Emilia said.

“Just hold still.” Jess pointed a camera as Emilia posed, nearly naked, wearing a black thong and covering her breasts with her hands.

“Whoever develops these is going to see them!”

“They should be so lucky. Seriously, though, Hopper’s going to love these.”

“I look like a whale.”

“Nah,” Jess said. “You just look like you swallowed a beach ball. And your ass and tits are bigger, but that’s a good thing!”

“Are we done, yet?”

Jess lowered the camera. “Do you really not want to do this? You don’t have to, obviously.”

“No, I want to. It’s just a little embarrassing, is all.”

“Just own your sexuality. You look gorgeous.”

 

**Day 195**

“So I, uh, received the pictures in the mail today,” Hopper told Emilia over the phone. “Not what I was expecting.”

“I’m sorry, Hop. Jess talked me into them.”

“Sorry? Fuck, don’t be sorry! They’re amazing!”

“Really?” Emilia asked. “You don’t think I look huge?”

“Mia, you’re so fucking sexy, and believe me, I will put these to good use later. Oh, and I have good news.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“I’ve gotten the okay to come visit you in three weeks. March first.”

“Three weeks? That’s forever away!”

“I know,” Hopper said. “But at least it’s an actual date?”

“Why can’t you come visit me on a weekend?”

“I told you, because of the audit thing. Why can’t you come see me on a weekend?”

“I don’t have a car, and my parents can’t lend me one of theirs. Believe me. I already asked.”

“Car rental? Plane ticket?”

“Can’t afford it right now. Trying to save up what I can for unpaid leave. I don’t think they’d let me fly this far into my pregnancy, anyway.”

“I’ll pay for it. A rental car.”

“You mean it?” Emilia asked.

“Of course,” Hopper said. “I want to see you.”

“Okay. I can’t do this weekend, because Jess is throwing me a baby shower, but I will after that. The twenty-second.”

“And then I’ll come visit you after that.”

Emilia finally had something to look forward to. Unfortunately, plans often have a way of changing.

 

**Day 197**

Hopper grunted, throwing his whole body into her repeatedly. “Unng, you feel incredible,” he managed to get out. He brought a nipple into his mouth.

“Oh, that’s it. Right—mm yeah. I want you to come all over my tits.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Hopper said, brushing Alice’s blonde hair away from her chest.

Emilia woke up in a sweat. _Fucking pregnancy dreams. Surely Hopper wouldn’t—No, of course not_ , she thought. _It was a dream. A stupid, fucking, uber-realistic dream._ She got up, stepping into the shower to wash the unsettling feelings away. 

After school, Emilia returned home to a package sitting on the kitchen table next to a vase filled with roses. “Jess! Where did these come from?” she called.

“Someone just delivered them,” Jess said from her bedroom.

Emilia looked at the note attached to the flowers. _Happy Valentine’s Day. I miss you and wish I could be there. Hopper._ She opened the package, finding a beautiful blue topaz pendant necklace. After she clasped it around her neck, she dialed Hopper’s work number. “Hey, babe,” she said when he picked up. “I got the flowers and the necklace. It’s so beautiful. Thank you.”

“Yeah, I wanted to do something nice,” Hopper said. “I feel bad about this whole situation.”

“Well, I appreciate it. You even got my birthstone.”

“Yep, I did. Long day? You sound tired.”

Emilia laughed. “I’m tired all the time, lately. But yeah, I’ve been a bit off all day. Had a weird dream last night.”

“What about?”

“Um, well…it was a super graphic dream about you…and Alice.”

“Oh. But you know that’s just a dream, right? You don’t think—”

“No, no, of course not,” Emilia said, shrugging the feeling off. “You know how dreams can be, though.”

Hopper knew all too well. “I just want to assure you that I’m not cheating on you. I know it’s hard when we don’t actually _see_ each other, but I lo—I’m completely, totally into you.”

That was the second time Hopper had almost told her he loved her. She ignored it the first time, but this time, she wondered why he wouldn’t say it. Was it his aversion to commitment? She just wanted to see his face so badly.

 

**Day 205**

“I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I can’t come see you, Hop,” Emilia said over the phone.

“What? Why not?”

“I took a sick day, because I’m not feeling well, and I hoped sleeping all day would make me feel better, but I just feel worse.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’ve been having…you know…stomach issues. And I have a splitting headache.”

“You going to the doctor tomorrow?” Hopper asked.

“I don’t know. Should I? It’ll be Saturday. I’d have to go to the ER.”

“Don’t you want to make sure everything’s okay?”

“I’m sure it is. I probably just have the flu or something. My students are germ-mobiles. Shitty luck.”

Hopper sighed. “This is getting ridiculous.”

“I know. I’ll try for next weekend. Can you still reschedule the car?”

“I don’t know. Probably.”

“Well I’m gonna go lie down. Starting to feel shaky just sitting here.”

“Okay. Just—take care of yourself, all right?”

Emilia smiled. “I will. Promise.”

 

**Day 208**

Emilia wasn’t due until April 28. But on February 25, she started bleeding. It wasn’t much, brown spotting to be exact, but Emilia phoned Hopper, anyway.

“Hop, now don’t get worried just yet, but I’m spotting. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“What is spotting?”

“Bleeding. Old blood, just a little—”

“What? You’re—Mia, please go see a doctor!”

“I _am_. I already made an appointment for this afternoon. They didn’t seem too alarmed on the phone.”

“Are you still feeling sick?” Hopper asked.

“Yeah, but the stomach stuff stopped. Just feel shaky and generally gross.”

“I’ll be there in three hours.”

“Hop, I’m sure it’s nothing. What about the audit?”

“Fuck the audit. This is more important. I’m leaving now.” Hopper hung up the phone.

Emilia stood there, confused. The nurse she talked to on the phone made it seem like spotting, while not normal, happened occasionally, and that she shouldn’t be worried. Hopper was overreacting. But at least she’d get to see him, and if he stayed a couple days, he could take care of her until she felt better.

By lunchtime, though, Emilia didn’t feel so confident. The brown had turned to pink, then red, and as it picked up, she had to use a pad. _This appointment can’t come soon enough_ , she thought. Hopper had left about two hours before, so she figured he’d arrive about an hour from then, one hour before her two o’clock appointment.

“Emilia, you really should go to the doctor now,” Jess told her over the phone. She’d called from work to check up on her. “Take public transit. Leave a note for Hopper. He can meet you there.”

She she knew Jess was right.

When she got to the doctor an hour later, she told the receptionist that she was an hour early but hoped to be seen if they could squeeze her in. Sure enough, a no-show opened up a spot, so Emilia was led to an examining room to wait.

“Emilia, how are we today?” the doctor asked as she walked into the room, washing her hands before putting on gloves.

“Not great. I’ve been feeling sick the past few days. Diarrhea, headache, shakiness. And this morning, I started spotting, but now it’s turned into full blown bleeding.”

“Hm, let’s take a look,” the doctor said. “I’m going to have you put this gown on, and I’ll be right back.”

When the doctor returned, she instructed Emilia to lay back and put her feet in the stirrups. Emilia stared at the ceiling, waiting for the doctor to say something, but she didn’t say anything. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she told her to sit up. “Is anything wrong?” Emilia asked.

The doctor removed her gloves and turned to Emilia. “You’re thirty-one weeks, right?”

“Yes. What’s wrong?”

“Have you been having contractions?”

“Nothing but Braxton Hicks. I don’t think.”

“You’re going to have to go straight to L&D to be admitted. You’re in pre-term labor.”

“What?” Emilia said. “How could that be?”

“You’re 4cm dilated and 90% effaced. If you were near full-term and not bleeding, I wouldn’t be concerned, but at thirty-one weeks, and with the bleeding, we need to admit you right away.”

“Will my baby be okay?”

“Babies born at thirty-one weeks have a pretty high survival rate. I’m going to get someone with a wheelchair to take you over.”

“But—but my boyfriend. He’s meeting me here. He won’t know where I am.”

“Don’t worry. When he stops by, we’ll let him know where you are.”

Emilia cried as she waited for the wheelchair to arrive. She hadn’t planned for this. Suddenly, her contractions became noticeably more painful, and she didn’t know if they were real or psychosomatic, brought on by the suggestion that she should be feeling them. As she clutched her belly, she sobbed, wishing Hopper could hold her hand through all of this. A younger man with a wheelchair arrived and took Emilia through the corridors and elevators of the hospital until they arrived at L&D. Nurses led her to a room and hooked her up to monitors, leaving her to wait until the on-call doctor came in. 

“Hello, Emilia,” the doctor said, walking into the room and looking at her chart. “It looks like you’re in pre-term labor. I’m going to examine you, and we’ll figure out where to go from there.”

“I just want to see my boyfriend,” Emilia said, still crying.

“Is he in the waiting room?”

“No, he’s coming from out of town. He’s not here, yet.”

“I’ll let the nurses know to let him back as soon as he arrives.” He had her put her feet in stirrups once more and lifted her gown to check her progress. “Have you been having contractions?”

“I’ve noticed them more since the doctor mentioned it,” Emilia told him.

The doctor watched the monitor. “It looks like you’re having regular contractions, but they’re not very strong. Your notes say you’re 4 cm and 90% effaced, which I confirmed, and it looks like you have a small leak in your amniotic sac, making it appear that you’re bleeding more than you actually are. We’re going to give you a drug that should help slow contractions, and hopefully, we can keep the baby in there a little longer. Unfortunately, with the leak and bleeding, you’re looking at a hospital stay and bed rest until the baby is born.”

Emilia nodded, but she could barely concentrate on what the doctor was saying. How would she afford this? She’d planned to work right up until her due date. Most of all, she wanted to know that her baby would be all right.

Thirty minutes later, Hopper burst into the room, still in his police uniform. “Mia, I’m here. What’s going on? Why are they admitting you? Is the baby okay?” He rushed to her side, entwining his hand with hers.

“I—I don’t know. I’m in preterm labor. They’re giving me medicine to try to stop it—” Fresh tears began to fall. “Hop, I’m so scared!”

“Doc, what’s going on?” Hopper asked. As the doctor repeated what he’d told Emilia, she gripped her belly once more, grimacing. Hopper turned to her. “Hon, are you okay?”

“Just a contraction. That one hurt.”

“I’m gonna go get the shot. I’ll be back,” the doctor said.

Hopper sat down next to Emilia, clutching her hand. “What can I do?”

“I’m just glad you’re here. I—I—”

“Shh, just rest,” he said, leaning in and kissing her forehead. “Whatever happens, we’ll make it through.”

“But this can’t be easy for you, being here—”

“It’s not. God, it’s not. And to be back here, with my other baby—” And that’s when it happened. Hopper bowed his head and wept as he let go of Emilia’s hand, moving it to rest on her belly. Suddenly, he stopped, looking up. “I felt that.”

“The kick?”

A grin appeared on Hopper’s tear-streaked face. “Yeah. Hey, there it is, again. I think it’s telling us not to worry, that it’s a fighter.”

“Oh, Hop, it’s just kicks—” 

“I need to believe that. Okay?”

Emilia nodded. “Okay.”

Hopper glanced up toward Emilia’s face. “You’re wearing the necklace I gave you.”

She fingered it. “Yeah, I’ve been wearing it ever since. Makes me feel like you’re with me, even when you’re not.”

Hopper leaned over and kissed her, then cleared his throat. “I love you. I’ve been wanting to say that for a long time, but it never felt appropriate over the phone.”

Emilia burst into tears.

“Wha—wait, why are you crying?”

“I’ve been wanting to tell you that, too. I love you so much.”

Hopper grinned, catching her lips in a deeper kiss. “I guess we shoulda said it sooner.”

The doctor came back through the door. “I’ve got the shot. We’ll monitor over the next several hours to see if it helps.”

“What if it doesn’t?” Hopper asked.

“Then we’re looking at a pre-term delivery and likely an extensive NICU stay. But most babies survive at thirty-one weeks with few to no complications.”

Hopper held Emilia’s hand through the shot, and it did work to slow her contractions. She called her family, then work to let them know she wouldn’t be back until the following school year. That evening, Jess came to visit for a couple hours before returning home. Emilia drifted in and out of sleep, and every time she woke, Hopper’s presence and touch comforted her. She didn’t ever want to be apart again.

As evening gave way to night, Emilia convinced the nurse that Hopper needed to stay, even though policy said only immediate family. As he settled onto the couch, he turned to look at Emilia. “Wake me if you need anything, okay? Anything at all.”

“I will.”

“Uh, I almost forgot.” Hopper got back up, walking to Emilia’s bed and leaning down to kiss her. “God, I love you. I hope I never stop saying that.”

Emilia’s heart fluttered. _Never?_ “I love you, too. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Hopper’s eyes moved to her belly. He placed his hand on her rounded middle, then leaned down, kissing it and causing Emilia to tear up. Hopper’s smile wavered, and he turned around quickly, heading back to the couch. “Goodnight,” he said, pulling the covers over himself.

“Goodnight.”


	15. Day 209-The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last one. It's been fun! Going back to writing my other fic, then I'm taking a break for the summer, as I'll be pretty busy. 
> 
> A side note for the chapter: I know pretty much nothing about NICU, especially 1980s NICU, so I did the best I could with some cursory internet research.

**Day 209**

 

The next day brought contractions back full-force. The doctor told Hopper and Emilia that he couldn’t do anything else to stop labor. They would meet their baby that day. A team of on-call doctors prepared to whisk the infant away to NICU when the time came.

Emilia groaned through each contraction as Hopper held her hand. Whirrs and beeps sounded throughout the room, monitoring both Emilia and her baby. At three o’clock, Emilia’s water broke, and her contractions became almost unbearable. “It won’t be long now,” a nurse told her.

Hopper leaned in toward her ear. “You’re doing so good, hon. Baby’ll be here so soon.”

About thirty minutes passed, and Emilia felt the urge to push. Four contractions later, at three thirty-three p.m., Emilia pushed her baby into the world as several doctors and nurses took over. Hopper watched the organized chaos as Emilia tried to get a view of her baby. No one had announced the sex or told her if it was okay.

“What’s going on?” Hopper asked. “How is the baby?”

“We’re taking her to NICU,” a nurse told him. “Her breathing is weak, so we’ll intubate her and let you know from there.”

“Can I come?” he asked.

“You’ll be able to visit later, but for now, we need you to stay here.”

Hopper watched as they took his baby away, then flopped down onto the chair next to Emilia, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s a girl?” Emilia asked him.

He looked up, the faintest smile creeping onto his face. “Yeah. A little girl.”

“I didn’t get to see her.”

“You’ll get to see her, soon,” one of the nurses said. “Now it’s time to deliver the placenta, so you’ll have to push again.”

An hour passed, and Hopper and Emilia didn’t have any more information than they’d started with. Hopper paced the room, running his hands through his hair and beard so much, Emilia worried he’d rub it all off. “Sit down,” she said.

“I can’t.”

“Pacing’s not going to change anything.”

“I know, but I can’t sit still. I need to know what’s going on.”

That moment, Emilia realized that her worries about Hopper were all for naught. He already loved their little girl, even having barely seen her. Emilia sat up, attempting to swing her legs to the side of the bed.

“What’re you doing?” Hopper asked, placing his hands in front of him as if it would protect her.

“When they say we can visit, I wanna be able to walk over there, too.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind getting a wheelchair.”

“Hop, I just had an uncomplicated delivery without an epidural. I can walk.”

A smirk flashed across Hopper’s face. “Okay.” He stepped over to the side of Emilia’s bed and helped her stand, keeping a hold of her hand as she walked over to the couch, sitting down. He settled in next to Emilia, putting his arm around her and kissing the top of her head. “I’m so proud of you. You’re amazing.” She snuggled into his side, closing her eyes.

Two more hours crawled by before they heard anything about their girl. Emilia startled awake as a knock sounded on their door and the doctor walked in. “Your baby is doing fine,” he said, and Emilia finally felt the weight lift off her chest. “She’s three pounds, five ounces, which is really good for a baby born at thirty-one weeks and two days. However, she’s lacking something called surfactant, which keeps her lungs stable, meaning she’s still having a bit of trouble breathing. This is normal for an infant born at this stage. There’s a new therapy, called artificial surfactant therapy, that we’re going to use so that hopefully she won’t have long-term effects from being intubated for so long.”

“Intubated? What exactly does that entail?” Hopper asked.

“We’ve inserted a plastic tube in her mouth and into her windpipe, and the tube is attached to a machine that does the breathing for her.”

Emilia nodded, taking it all in. “And what about nursing. Can I nurse her?”

“With the intubation, it’s not really possible, so we’ve inserted an NG tube through her nose and into her stomach to provide her nutrition. A nurse can teach you how to use a breast pump, and we’ll use your milk to feed her through the tube. She’ll likely have a weak or no sucking reflex for at least a few weeks and will need to be taught how to suck properly.”

The more Emilia listened to the doctor, the more overwhelmed she felt. “Okay. When can we see her? Will we be able to hold her?”

“You can see her now, but I’m afraid you won’t be able to hold her yet. We want to make sure all of her equipment is working properly and all her body functions are regulated before disturbing her.”

Emilia buried her face into Hopper’s chest as he held her close. “I know, it’s not fair,” he murmured into her hair.

“If you follow me out the door, I’ll take you to your baby,” the doctor said.

Hopper and Emilia stepped into the NICU ward. Giant, blocky machines lined the walls, cords and tubes leading to each warmer. Everything looked so sterile and scientific. The doctor led them to a warmer, and Emilia peered inside at the tiny little creature, too tiny for the diaper she wore. A thick tube was taped to her mouth, another small tube running down her nose, and round heart monitors were stuck to her small body. She was so still. Hopper wrapped his arm around Emilia, squeezing her shoulder.

“I’m your mommy,” she said. “And this is your daddy. We don’t have a name for you, yet, but we love you so much, and we’re going to get you out of here as soon as we can.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” Hopper said. “I’m your daddy. I love you so much. You’re strong. A fighter. We’re gonna make it through this together.”

Emilia put her hand to her mouth watching Hopper interact with their daughter. She imagined him holding Sara when she was born and talking to her in the same way, then again in the hospital, and she teared up. 

All too soon, the nurse asked them to leave so that their daughter could get some rest. After another nurse led them back to their room, Emilia’s doctor came in to speak with them. She told Emilia that she would spend a couple more days in the hospital before they discharged her, and after that, she’d have to come visit her daughter on her own. If Emilia wanted to breastfeed, she needed to pump every couple hours and bring the milk with her to the NICU where they’d store it. Emilia had no problem with this arrangement. She knew it would be difficult to stay away.

Eventually, Emilia and Hopper found themselves alone once more. “I can’t imagine leaving her here overnight without us. What if she’s scared?” Emilia said.

Hopper put his arm around her. “I’m sure the nurses will take great care of her.”

“What should we name her?”

“What about Rachel?” Hopper asked. “I’ve always liked that name.”

Emilia smiled. “Okay. Rachel, it is.”

“Why don’t you come up with the middle name?”

Emilia thought for a moment. “What about Rose?”

“An alliteration. Rachel Rose.”

“If it sounds silly, we don’t—”

“No, I actually quite like it,” Hopper said. “Rachel Rose Hanson.”

“Or Rachel Rose Hopper.”

They looked at each other. “We’ll just call her Rachel for now and figure that out later,” Hopper said.

 

**Day 215**

Emilia had wanted so badly to stay in the hospital with her daughter, but the doctor discharged her two days later. Luckily, she had Hopper, because she didn’t know how she would cope emotionally, otherwise. His truck also made visits to the hospital much easier. Emilia spent the last four days pumping almost non-stop and sitting with Rachel in the NICU.

Six days after Rachel’s birth, she proved herself strong enough to breathe on her own. The doctors removed her breathing tube and moved her down the hall to the Level II NICU, which meant that Hopper and Emilia would finally be able to hold her.

When Emilia got to see Rachel’s beautiful face for the first time, she cried. The nurse directed her to a rocking chair where she sat, thrumming with excitement and nervousness as the nurse carried Rachel and placed her in her arms. Rachel watched her, her gray-blue eyes taking everything in.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Emilia said, fingering Rachel’s tiny hand. When Rachel grabbed onto her finger, Emilia turned her head up toward Hopper, eyes large and mouth trembling. Hopper couldn’t help but tear up as he placed his hand on Emilia’s shoulder. She didn’t want her time to end. With Rachel in her arms, everything felt right and good and just how it was supposed to be. But she could tell in the way that Hopper fidgeted, pursing his lips, that he, too, anxiously awaited holding his daughter.

“You can have a turn, Hop,” Emilia said.

“Oh, no. Take as much time as you need, hon.”

“Believe me, if I did that, I’d never let her go. You’ve been waiting just as long as I have.” She signaled a nurse to transfer Rachel over to Hopper, and when he got to hold his little girl for the first time, his eyes turned glassy, lips firm and unmoving. He just stared at her, and Emilia wondered after awhile if their daughter had broken him, somehow. Finally, after a solid five minutes, he looked at Emilia.

“She’s beautiful. I—I can’t even—”

“I know.”

“And you were right. About everything. I had nothing to worry about. I love her so much.”

The nurse interrupted their time together. “Now that she’s not intubated, we can attempt breastfeeding, if you wish. It won’t be easy, more than likely, but before we discharge her, she needs to be off the NG tube and sucking on her own. There’s a whole process to work toward that, but why don’t we just see where she’s at now?”

Emilia nodded. The nurse set a pillow in her lap to help with positioning while she unbuttoned her top. When the nurse placed Rachel at her breast, Rachel seemed mostly disinterested. Once latched, she grew tired quickly and began to cry. It was a start, at least. Emilia was just happy to be able to try.

That evening, Hopper and Emilia sat on her couch, watching a movie and sharing popcorn, the first time in in months they’d gotten to relax together. Emilia leaned her head on Hopper’s shoulder, hooking her arm in his. “So I was thinking,” she said. “About us, and about what happens with Rachel. For starters, I don’t want to keep her away from you ever, especially after seeing you two today. Second, I can’t imagine being apart from you, myself. We’ve done enough of that, and it sucks.” She took a deep breath. “I want to come to Hawkins with you. For real. If you’ll have me.”

Hopper pulled away to get a good look at her. “But Mia, what about your family? Your friends? Your job? You have your roots here in Chicago.”

Emilia looked into his eyes, her own unwavering. “I know. But I can get another job, and it’s only a three hour drive. I don’t have to see my friends and family every day, but the thought of not seeing you every day, it kills me. You and Rachel are my family now.”

Hopper cupped her face and brought his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, and they continued on, until their breathing became ragged and they pulled apart. “God, I wish—”

“I know,” Emilia said. “Five more weeks.”

“You’re so good to me, and I don’t deserve it,” Hopper said.

“Please. None of us deserve anything. All that matters is we do our best loving each other.”

“And when we don’t?”

“Hopefully, we grow from those experiences. Learn how to love better.”

“Sometimes with a different person entirely.” Hopper’s eyes grew distant, and Emilia knew he thought of Diane. “Flo was right, by the way. About that missing boy changing me.”

Emilia watched Hopper patiently, waiting for him to continue.

“It was a little over a year ago. In the fall. Nothing even remotely terrible had happened in Hawkins since I’d gotten there, let alone since I was born. It was always quiet. I’d have to deal with the occasional destruction of property and domestic fights and silly, stupid shit. But nothing like this. I got word that a seven-year-old boy went missing. That morning, I was hungover, fucked up on blue tips, and late to work. I got chewed out by Flo when I finally dragged my ass to the office and found out about the missing boy. I don’t know what, but something in me snapped. I put every ounce of energy I had into finding him. Stayed up all night pouring over lead after lead. It wasn’t healthy, but I felt this kind of compulsion. And finally, a week later, we found him. Locked away in a cabin in the woods by some old transient, and who knows how long he woulda had to live had we not found him when we did.” Hopper lowered his head, scrubbing his face with his hands and closing his eyes before looking up again. “That’s when I stopped with the Tunial, which, honest to god, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Stopped drinking so much. I kept thinking, that coulda been Sara out there. How would I have felt if the person on the job was…me? I told myself I had to be better. For Sara. She wouldn’t have wanted to see me like I was.”

“Hop, I don’t even know what to say, except that I love you. Every day, I find a reason to love you more.” She took his hand in hers.

They sat in silence like that, two broken people, finding healing in each other. Hopper leaned in, grazing Emilia’s lips with his. “I know we can’t have sex, but what do you say to going to bed naked?”

“As long as you don’t mind leaky breasts, a squishy belly, and the fact that I need to keep my underwear on. I also need to pump first.”

Hopper smiled. “I don’t mind at all.”

 

**Day 218**

“I _know_ I haven’t been there in ten days and I _know_ I’ve already taken a lot of time off,” Hopper said over the phone. “Just have Powell do it! Why can’t he take over as temporary Police Chief? What if _I_ were the one in the hospital?” He paused, listening. “Well, this is my _daughter_ we’re talking about. I need to be with her. Fuck, I know we’re not married and I know I don’t technically have custody of her, but why should that matter?” He paused again. “Laws, laws, laws. Yeah, I know I’m a police officer. God dammit. Flo, I’ve gotta go, or I’m gonna say something I’ll regret.” Hopper slammed the phone down, running his hand down his face.

Emilia walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his middle. “You okay?”

“No. Apparently, this doesn’t count as excused leave or whatever bullshit. I know she’s not doing it on purpose. Probably has the higher-ups breathing down her neck. But Flo is pissing me the fuck off.”

“It’ll be okay. Come here.” Hopper turned around, and they wrapped each other in a hug.

“I can’t leave her,” Hopper said, voice muffled in Emilia’s hair. “I just can’t. I didn’t abandon Sara in the hospital, and I can’t abandon Rachel.”

“Oh, Hop, you’re not abandoning her,” Emilia said. “She’s so loved, and that transcends distance. I’ll be here with her, and I know you’ll be back every weekend until she gets out.”

“What about you? I know you said—”

“—I can’t be away from you again. I know. But in a few short weeks, Rachel will be discharged, and we’ll be on our way to Hawkins. I can handle it when I know that’s coming.”

“I guess I should probably call Flo back and apologize.”

“Or just call her back and tell her you understand the pressure she’s under, and you’ll be back in a few days. They can handle a few more days.”

Hopper grinned. “See, this is why I love you. So smart.”

“And I love you, because you’re a good man and sexy and an amazing father.” She trailed a finger down his shirt.

“Mm,” he pressed his lips to hers. “Now let’s go see our daughter.”

Emilia sat in the rocking chair, nursing Rachel. Her weak latch meant she didn’t get enough milk directly from Emilia, but the practice make her sucking reflex stronger every day. In the meantime, she still had her NG tube to provide the milk Emilia continued to pump around the clock. When Emilia finished nursing Rachel, she switched places with Hopper and handed her over. He gazed at her for several minutes before closing his eyes and tilting his head back, rocking her slowly. Soon, he fell asleep, and so did Rachel. Emilia pulled her camera from her bag and snapped a quick picture, tearing up at the sight in front of her. Less than a year before, she never would have imagined this would be her life.

 

**Day 221**

“I will be back next weekend. I promise. Nothing can keep me away,” Hopper said, putting his bag in his truck.

“I know. It’ll be here before we know it,” Emilia said.

“When’s your mom getting here?”

“Later today.” Emilia’s mom had agreed to take the week off of work and stay with Emilia so that she could help drive her to and from the hospital. Her dad would take off the following week to do the same.

“Sounds good. I’m probably going to annoy the shit out of you and call you all the time, by the way.”

Emilia laughed. “That could never annoy me. Other things you do, yeah. Not that.”

Hopper wrapped his arms around her waist. “Oh, yeah? Like what?”

“Um, when you let toothpaste dry on the end and it’s hard to get out. Or when you leave all the lights on. Or the way you use your truck as a garbage can…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get the picture. I just cleaned my truck, by the way.” He leaned down to kiss her. “I love you. I’ll see you soon. Tell Rachel that I love her.”

 

**Day 226**

Hopper arrived back in Chicago Friday night after Emilia had gone home from the NICU. When she opened the door, she pulled him into a big hug. “You’re a sight for sore eyes. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. Can’t wait to see my baby girl tomorrow. How was she today?” Hopper asked as he walked inside Emilia’s apartment.

“Doing well. Gaining weight. We were able to take the NG tube out today, so now she’s getting by on nursing and bottles of my hard-earned breastmilk.”

Hopper’s smile lit up his whole face. “That’s great news.”

“Hi, Hopper,” Jess said from the couch. 

“Oh, hey. Didn’t see you there.”

“Emilia, Emilia, Emilia. I know. You probably forgot I even lived here.” She rolled her eyes in jest. “I can’t believe you’re stealing her away from me.”

“Maybe if you’d given her a baby, you’d have a chance. Guess I’m just cooler than you.”

Jess huffed. “Please. You may have won her heart, for which I am incredibly happy, but don’t for a second think you’re cooler than me.” 

Hopper chuckled, then turned to Emilia. “Since we can’t see Rachel until tomorrow morning, what do you say to going out? I know it’s late, but we could go for dessert or something.”

“Actually, that sounds amazing. All I’ve been doing the last couple weeks is pumping and going to NICU. Speaking of…I’ve gotta pump before we leave.”

An hour later, Hopper and Emilia sat in a booth at the dessert place down the street from Emilia’s home. They both ordered their usual, a slice of chocolate cake. They discussed their weeks, but mostly Rachel and the logistics of Emilia’s move to Hawkins.

Once they left the restaurant, Hopper suggested they go for a walk. Although cold, the temperature had risen above average mid-March temperatures, and Emilia found the air refreshing. They held hands as they strolled up the street in comfortable silence. A block or so later, Hopper began clearing his throat as if he had something caught, and his hand shook just slightly in Emilia’s. She stopped him, pressing her body to his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. “Hop, your heart is racing. What’s going on?”

“Um, uh, okay.” He blew out a puff of air before pulling something out of his pocket and getting on one knee.

Emilia’s eyes widened as she brought her hands to her mouth. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

Hopper opened a jewelry box, revealing a modest-sized diamond ring. “Mia, will you marry me?”

“Hop—” She pulled him up. “I thought you didn’t want to get married again. We can be together without it, you know.”

Hopper’s face fell. “I just said that because I hadn’t found anyone I _wanted_ to marry after Diane. But I love you so much, and I love Rachel so much, and I want to marry you.” He explored her eyes. “Do you not want to marry me?”

“Oh, Hop, of course I do! I’m sorry, I just thought—”

Hopper brought his lips crashing down on hers. “So the answer’s yes?”

Emilia nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!” She held out a shaky hand as Hopper slid the ring onto her finger. “I can’t wait to marry you. C’mon, let’s go home. I’m thinking of a certain something that I haven’t done in awhile. Something I can do for my husband-to-be that I think he’ll really like.” She grinned.

“Oh. Right, okay. Yeah, let’s go.” Hopper took her hand as they headed back down the street.

 

**Day 251**

Hopper fought with the carseat in his truck as Emilia got into the passenger seat. On April 9, six weeks after she was born, Rachel Rose Hopper was discharged from the hospital.

“You got that thing installed yet?” Emilia asked.

Hopper grunted. “Yeah, almost. This thing’s a pain in the ass. When Sara went home, Diane just held her.”

“Ha, well _that’s_ not happening,” Emilia said. Hopper finally got the carseat in, and they headed for the hospital.

Rachel had nearly doubled her weight since her birth and could finally nurse on her own without additional aides. Emilia lifted her out of her bassinet shedding tears, the first time holding her without any attachments. Rachel watched her parents’ faces intently before letting out a little cry herself. “Oh my goodness, she’s crying,” Emilia said. “I’ve barely heard that sound, and I’m so grateful for it.”

When the three made it back to Emilia’s place, she had most of her stuff already packed up. They’d rented a trailer to hitch to the back of Hopper’s truck.

“Hey, if you need half of the rent until your lease is up, I can do that,” Hopper told Jess. “I understand we’re kinda putting you in a hard spot.”

“I appreciate it, Hopper, but our friend, Megan’s lease just ended, so she’s gonna move in with me. Really, though, the offer just confirms what kind of guy you are.”

Hopper held out his arms. “Do we hug? Is this a thing?”

“It is now,” Jess said, wrapping her arms around him.

“Thanks for taking good care of Mia. It just confirms what kind of friend you are.”

Jess grinned at Hopper. 

They spent the rest of the day visiting with family and friends, including Emilia’s parents who got to meet Hopper for the first time. By evening, the new parents had met their limit, exhausted from the day’s events. As they climbed into bed, Emilia snuggled her back up against Hopper’s belly, placing Emilia to her front. She unbuttoned her sleeping gown and put Rachel to her breast. “I can’t believe this is my last night here,” she said. 

“You can still change your mind.”

Emilia would’ve turned to give him a look if she weren’t tied up at the moment. “No way. You’re stuck with me now.”

“No one better to be stuck with.”

 

**The Future**

“And these are raspberries. You know raspberries, but I bet you didn’t know they grew in the wild,” Hopper said as Rachel jumped up and down, holding his hand. Her dark bangs bounced with her as she met his eyes with the same shade of blue.

“Can we eat some? Please, Daddy! They’re so yummy!”

“Yes, but only if you let Daddy pick them,” Emilia said, walking up to the pair. “See those thorns all twisted up? They’re called brambles, and they’ll scratch you if you’re not careful.”

“But they can scratch Daddy?”

“Yeah, we don’t mind if Daddy gets scratched. Not for some delicious raspberries.”

“I don’t like how this is going.” Hopper said.

“Rachel, do you want to watch Daddy or come with Mommy to find sticks for the fire?”

“Watch Daddy! Watch Daddy!”

Emilia laughed. “Of course.” She walked back toward the trees, picking up sticks as she went. When she got to the fire they’d built around their campsite, she placed them in, then started cooking the fish they’d caught.

Thirty minutes later, Hopper came back with a bucket full of ripe raspberries, his three-year-old bounding after him. “Daddy got scratched! Daddy got scratched!” she said in a sing-song voice.

Hopper held out his arms where the thorns had drawn blood. “All worth it for our dessert, right, kiddo?”

“Uh-huh.” Rachel nodded matter-of-factly.

“How’s the fish coming?” Hopper asked, sitting down next to his wife and putting an arm around her. 

“Almost done. Ngh.” Emilia put her hand to her belly.

“Everything all right?”

“Yeah, this little stinker just jabbed me in the rib.”

Hopper placed his hand on her middle. “Yep, I felt that one.”

“At least you’re not the one being punched and kicked everywhere,” Emilia said, smirking. “This one’s gotta be a boy, compared to how Rachel was.”

Hopper grinned. “I think boy, too.”

“I wanna feel!” Rachel shoved her way through Hopper and put both hands on her mother’s belly.

“What do you think it is?” Hopper asked Rachel.

“A puppy.”

Hopper snorted. “But a boy puppy, right?”

“I don’t know. At this point, I’m starting to wonder,” Emilia said.

Hopper grinned, kissing his wife. “Whatever it is, as long as it’s healthy, I’m happy. You know how much I love you?”

“Not as much as I love you.”

Rachel climbed between them. “Mommy and Daddy love Rachel?”

“Absolutely,” Hopper said, picking his daughter up. “You’re the greatest, kid.”

After they ate and the sun started to set, casting pinks and purples across the lake, Emilia watched as Hopper chased Rachel through the grass. He caught her throwing her into the air as she squealed, calling for more. She caught Hopper’s eye, and he smiled. Perfect families didn’t exist, but hers was about as close as anyone could get.


End file.
